DH kissed his best friend (female)..

[boriso]

One of Dh's best friends is female - they have been close for 20 years and met at Uni before I met dh.

Recently she has been going through some major marital diffuculties (she fell in love with somoone else and had an affair) and my dh has been a shoulder for her to cry on. Recently I have started to feel a bit uncomfortable about this. Nothing I could really put my finger on, I have never felt threatened by this woman.

Anyway, I checked his phone this morning (due to feeling not quite right about all of this) and it seems that when they last met up they kissed. The text from her read - "It was only a kiss don't stress about it too much, it was lovely though".

What would you do??!!

So sorry about your Mum Boriso.

I dunno, OB - that text sounds as if Boriso's DH regrets the kiss..... It's the fact she's added 'it was lovely' - Sounds predatory!

And the fact that she's already had an affair sounds well dodgy - she obviously doesn't think much of her DH!!!!!!

I'd listen to DH's story and make sure there is a plan for him and her not to be alone together............

Sorry, but in this instance, sounds like she is more to blame!

yes that is certainly possible that she is taling about someone else. Sounds unlikely though.

If he denies it I would call her immediately and not give them time to concoct a story. Just say someothing like "i hear you have been kissing my husband" and put her on the spot. Threatening to do this should make him own up tbh

I don't think it matters who is to blame
it takes two doesn't it?

I suppose its possible Thedevilwearspenneys - but i think unlikely sadly. The text was sent the morning after they had been out together.

CD - I didn't think of that! it could be someone else........... Not sure though..

I didn't mean I wouldn't be mad - I'd be bloody livid, but it might have been a one time mistake...........

I am sorry to hear you have recently lost your mum, boriso.

What is it with men at the moment? There seem to be an awful lot of posts about men being unfiathful to various degrees.

I suggest you say -

I know you have kissed slapper her name and I would rather it didn't happen again. Then walk away.

See what happens.

Is she your friend too?

I wouldn't mention the phone just tell him you know and see how he reacts.I agree she sounds a bit of a loose cannon and I wouldn't let your dh go tomorrow.Spend the weekend as a family and remind the silly bugger how lucky he is.Unfortunately like most males he will be hugely flattered by this regardless of the fact that it is wrong so you will have to be hard on him and don't waiver.Good luck xx

no way...don't let him go anywhere NEAR her!kids or no kids...your instincts are screaming at u that its all WRONG.Listen very carefully to yourself,you've got an inner voice for a reason.Forget the fact you checked the phone because u felt uncomfortable and had no choice.In the big pic thats a small thing compared to whats going/about to go on!kill them both...sorry i mean stick to DH and have it out entirely...Have nothing else to do with her the deceitful £$%^@~!!!Have been there and i wouldn't wish this in any shape on u.Even a kiss is too much and makes me sick.Find a good close friend for support.Be kind to yourself and hard on him for abusing your trust and the rest...sorry for ranting...

She is really down on her husband at the mo, and is only staying with him because of the kids.

Talk to him NOW

Ask him to cancel the weekend away

I was in this situation this time last year a male friend of over 20 years .Nothing had ever had be4 but it always felt like it should of.It came to a head when he told me how he felt .To cut along story short NOTHING happened but I did tell my dh who like you was upset and felt this man had been in his home and taken advantage

We are no longer friends which I do miss sometimes(friendship) but I would`nt want my dh to be "taken the piss out of again"or rub his nose in it

Your dh should do the same

Boriso
They are her problems NOT yours or your dh
Don`t let her suck you or dh in .
I did and well ...I posted it earlier

I'm still not sure.

It could easily be that he was telling her off the night before for getting involved with the same man (or a new one) if he's been the one supporting her through the mess she made before.

Don't leap to conclusions.

This is pointless anyway. You don't know anything until you ask him?

friends dont kiss,so they are not 'friends' any more,she is now 'the other woman' and if he wants to stay married to you then he should stop all contact with her.
i would tell her husband as well,about the affair and the kiss.is her husband snoggable?im sure it would be easier to get through if you and your husnad were equal.

A weekend away, with her? Fuck that right off.

Sorry - but you're literally asking for trouble if you let him go. He was obviously stressing out about the kiss, but with her having "but it was lovely" in her reply - that will be stewing in his mind now, getting him thinking about whether it was in fact lovely for him too. She's clever i'll give her that.

If it was 'just a kiss' to her, when she is married and she knows your husband is too, then will it also be 'just a shag' when she wants that to be lovely too? Not saying your husband will give in to that, but it's on the right track if they managed a lovely kiss.

Put an end to it, now. Come clean, tell him you know, and suggest that if he had any sort of respect for his wife and children then he'll cease all contact with this nutjob until things have cooled down.

IF you call him now he will lie and concoct a story with her that it was another man she was kissing

Can you get a look at his phone tonight and see if there are any other texts that might clarify the situation?

The text from her read - "It was only a kiss don't stress about it too much, it was lovely though".

Is it possible she is describing a kiss with the man she had an affair with and your husband is stressed because she is making trouble for herself?

I hope you get it sorted and get her out of the picture pronto, sounds like she won't be happy till she's had a lick at everybody else's ice-cream, the bastard.

Good luck

don't let him go to her house what would they have been planning to get up too while you were not there? have you checked his sent messages folder or the outbox on his phone? I would be ready to go absolutely bonkers. kissing is cheating.

do you know his email password?
I would have a look there if you do
See if they have been talking about it on there

I know snooping is horrid but you have to protect yourself and find out the truth as he will lie to you I should imagine

It sounds very unlikely I agree wabbit

Why would he stress about that?

Ahem Swede, that's just what I said, but it has been largely ignored.

I guess it's more fun to assume the worst and call her a bitch and whatnot.

When he comes home tonight, give him a kiss and say "it was only a kiss but it was lovely though". See how freaked out he is.

I have to say that I agree with everyone else who says that she's up to no good and is now the other woman.

Good luck.