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Relationships

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Children coming out of the woodwork !

256 replies

ohh · 27/10/2024 21:39

I met my husband of 20 years when he was 47 and he had only 1 child of 2 from a previous relationship which we gave unconditional love to and supported his mother. He is 70 now and just found out that he has 3 other children that he did not know about who were born in the 1970’s so adults now . 3 different mothers. Now all 3 trying to find out father - unknown why not told who their dad was . He is rather shocked and I’m a bit non plussed. My initial reaction was I hope our children (including the first he knew and grew up with us) are not affected as they are all under 23 as I am younger. Then I was like are you going to get to know them ? He doesn’t know what to do.

OP posts:
Pandasnacks · 27/10/2024 21:43

Strange that all 3 have waited until they are in their 40/50s and decided to find him at the same time. And that all 3 mums felt they couldn't tell him they were pregnant back then. Sounds like a big part of this story could be missing

BitOutOfPractice · 27/10/2024 21:45

I agree it’s very odd. Are you sure you’re getting the full story op?

how old are you?

ohh · 27/10/2024 21:51

im aware he as in a big motorbike gang in the late 60’s early 70’s and said girls threw themselves at the bikers he thought it was terrible they did that as has 6 sisters! But obviously was I slightly involved himself!

OP posts:
ohh · 27/10/2024 21:52

Should have proof read!

OP posts:
Pandasnacks · 27/10/2024 21:53

3 accidental babies that he knows off isn't slightly involved, don't be naive.

DoreenonTill8 · 27/10/2024 21:56

You met him at 47 and you have children with him?
Or are the 'our children just yours but you see them as his, but his aren't yours? @ohh

VaddaABeetch · 27/10/2024 21:58

He thought it terrible that ‘these girls threw themselves at him.’ So what happened they fell on his penis? He couldn’t use condoms? Rather strange story

BitOutOfPractice · 27/10/2024 22:02

Gosh the more you tell us the more delightful he sounds! 🙄 he was so appalled at these women that he got three of them pregnant and then left them to bring the children up alone while he went on to pontificate about their morals.

Pandasnacks · 27/10/2024 22:09

DoreenonTill8 · 27/10/2024 21:56

You met him at 47 and you have children with him?
Or are the 'our children just yours but you see them as his, but his aren't yours? @ohh

It says when he was 47 and that she was younger

ohh · 27/10/2024 22:11

I agree! I know there was a lot of free sex going around then but thought you would stay in touch ! I’m open to meeting the newest members but worried how the live at home teens will take it. I’m not being naive as I cannot magic the others away and wouldn’t want to as I feel sorry for them. I should also mention that he has been a wonderful father to the ours . Very protective and loving .

OP posts:
Newlittlerescue · 27/10/2024 22:11

I assume for three children to suddenly appear, he (or one of his other biological children), recently uploaded DNA to Ancestry. Presumably the three half-siblings had already found each other but only identified him when the DNA was added.

ohh · 27/10/2024 22:12

I’m 19 years younger from the age of safe sex !

OP posts:
Franjipanl8r · 27/10/2024 22:13

I’d want a divorce.

JC03745 · 27/10/2024 22:17

ohh · 27/10/2024 22:12

I’m 19 years younger from the age of safe sex !

What an earth does that mean OP???

Franjipanl8r · 27/10/2024 22:17

There wasn’t an age of unsafe sex, plenty of other men wore condoms. Google “when we’re condoms invented”. Your DH just couldn’t be arsed and didn’t care.

Calliopespa · 27/10/2024 22:19

What a mess.

Pandasnacks · 27/10/2024 22:21

ohh · 27/10/2024 22:12

I’m 19 years younger from the age of safe sex !

19 years younger than him? So only a couple of years older than his new kids then. He sounds a bit grim

DoreenonTill8 · 27/10/2024 22:23

ohh · 27/10/2024 22:12

I’m 19 years younger from the age of safe sex !

So you were 28 to his nearly 50?
..

CandyLeBonBon · 27/10/2024 22:23

How old was he when he fathered these children? He may well have been a wonderful dad to yours at 47+, but if he was happily sleeping around in his twenties and thirties, his attitude may have been completely different. You don't know that they didn't tell him they were pregnant, do you?

BitOutOfPractice · 27/10/2024 22:23

I would be looking at him in a whole new light. I’m sure your dc will too.

yes, as a pp said, what a mess. And yes, very grim.

MyHairIsCurly · 27/10/2024 22:24

This is not going to sound like a good question, but is there any chance he was a rapist?

CallItLoneliness · 27/10/2024 22:25

MyHairIsCurly · 27/10/2024 22:24

This is not going to sound like a good question, but is there any chance he was a rapist?

I wondered the same thing. Rape was an induction practice in biker gangs in NZ, where I grew up.

BarMonaco · 27/10/2024 22:26

Newlittlerescue · 27/10/2024 22:11

I assume for three children to suddenly appear, he (or one of his other biological children), recently uploaded DNA to Ancestry. Presumably the three half-siblings had already found each other but only identified him when the DNA was added.

Yes, that happened to my uncle. A son found him through a DNA site when my uncle was in his 90s. I don't know the back story, but I assume one of my cousins uploaded their Dna

youve987456 · 27/10/2024 22:28

Franjipanl8r · 27/10/2024 22:13

I’d want a divorce.

Why? He hasn't been unfaithful.

TentEntWenTyfOur · 27/10/2024 22:28

Franjipanl8r · 27/10/2024 22:17

There wasn’t an age of unsafe sex, plenty of other men wore condoms. Google “when we’re condoms invented”. Your DH just couldn’t be arsed and didn’t care.

There was an age pre-AIDS when people weren't quite so bothered about condoms. It wouldn't have just been the men who didn't care, the women didn't either, and a lot of the time would try the 'withdrawal method' instead. Which often didn't work. A relative was involved in the biker scene in the early 80's and even then there was a lot of promiscuity.

None of that side of it sounds odd at all. What does sound odd is that all three of these people, previously unknown (not only to their father but to one another), have all appeared at the same time.