Domestic violence from neighbour- need help!

[Queenofheaven]

I’ve had an ongoing nightmare saga with an ex-convict neighbour who has been abusing his gf, mum and pretty much everyone around him for years. I have PTSD from an abusive childhood so this has been a nightmare situation for me.

Over the years I’ve been in contact with the landlord, the police, the safer neighbourhoods police team, local councillors and MPs- reported his nuisance noise to the council etc. This man seems untouchable.

The other day he was violently physically attacking his gf and they were having an extreme argument. We called police. He shouts at them the whole time, swears at them, also tells them they can’t come into his flat (they agree for some reason!) and they speak to him at an open door and speak to the gf downstairs in the communal area.

She defends him, says it’s actually us who are always fighting (lol), and for some reason officers are happy with this and leave. Keep in mind this man was in prison for a masked attack on a family that he carried out with other men. He’s had people show up with machetes outside our flat, he threatened kill his daughters bf and police came to take her away - even then he swore at them, told them not to come into his flat and they didn’t. He wasn’t arrested, wasn’t questioned.

It’s been a few days since this incident now but his door has been open for the past 3 days and a buzzing alarm going off every morning. Zero noise or movement from his flat, unsure if he’s even in there or not.

This situation has ground me down and I don’t even want to be involved now but can’t tell if we’re in danger or need to do something more. We are moving in 3 months but have nowhere to stay until then, I don’t know what to do honestly. An ambulance was here for him a few weeks ago too and he came back in a hospital gown so I’m sort of wondering if there’s been a medical event.

I can understand why you don't want to be involved but if the door is still open tomorrow you really should ask for a welfare check. Good luck, hopefully he's done a runner instead.

Mine are so awful that I have twice dreamt that they had done a flit, was gutted when I woke up and of course they were still there, shouting, dumping rubbish, selling drugs and having people coming and going at all hours of the day and night

They don't enter his flat because they can't. Unless they have a warrant, they can only enter someone's home:

• when they are pursuing someone they believe has committed, or attempted to commit, a serious crime
• if they hear someone calling for help or obviously in distress
• to sort out a disturbance
• to enforce an arrest warrant
• if invited in by the occupant

In this case, none of the above apply so, unless they get a warrant, they cannot legally enter his flat.

After reading this information, I am now wondering if my disgusting neighbour was worse than OPs because the police used to bring their own little battering ram and break his door down regularly.

...Not that it's a 'worst neighbour' competition 😂

Why bother posting? It is clear you should ring now even if you are scared. Fear is no excuse.

Some of the comments here suggest that some people just have no idea how dangerous some people can be. An ex prisoner who has been violent is not the type of person you take a box of chocolates to. These are generally very violent people who also mix with very violent people. If I was the OP no way would I go near that flat! And no way would I be asking the police for a welfare check……not all police are honest. My partner lives next door to a noisy neighbour. It is absolute hell. The authorities do very little and it is all about their mental health, privacy etc. I really feel for you OP. It’s a shame you can’t go and rent a mobile home somewhere for 3 months to just get away from him.

FGS you are living beside a thoroughly disgusting and violent individual and you will not put up a security camera or a ring doorbell because the HA said you can't. Same HA has no interest in your well being or safety in one of their properties!. Honestly I would take the consequences for doing that, I mean what can they do except tell you to take it down. That would help your personal security which is what you asked.

Ask the police for a welfare check on him. Explain he has been in hospital and prison previously and his door open, alarm on. It’s too dangerous for you to go into his flat due to previous behaviour.

Honestly, I would just go in and look tbh. From how you describe it, there's either no one in there or no one alive. Either way, you're unlikely to be in any danger in the two minutes it takes to look. If there's anything in there that needs reporting to the police or the landlord you can then do that, armed with some useful information. If there isn't, you can just close the door and leave.

If you've already decided you're not prepared to do anything at all... well, just don't. But there really are only two options - do something or do nothing.

This make no sense to me because “to sort out a disturbance” and believing someone has attempted to commit a crime has 100% applied to him on multiple occasions!

At least your police force sound like they were doing their job though

Absolutely this. I’m not risking my safety for this guys welfare, not a chance

Unless you haven't left the flat since you last saw him, you don't know that he's not hurt his girlfriend and she's lying there injured.

"a friendly concerned neighbour" unfortunately, people with his kind of mindset really won't see it that way at all. If they do (unlikely) believe you are nice that is a sign of weakness and an invitation to bully you. If they don't (more likely) its provocation. Either way the reaction is aggression. The only way of handling them is avoiding all contact whenever necessary and having firm boundaries.

I will update in a few days

Look after yourself @Queenofheaven x

By making a phone call?
How is that risking your safety?

Yes do look after yourself first and foremost, but I'd want my mind at rest ASAP that any dead body had been removed from above me. Someone has either died or become incapacitated in the flat or close by.

Yes, if there weren't people willing to put their own safety on the line for violent, aggressive people (who go out of their way to hurt others and always meet kindness with violence), the violent aggressive people might have to face the consequences of their own actions.

And I know - Christian forgiveness, the good Samaritan etc. But forgiveness shouldn't come at the expense of your own safety. And the good Samaritan helped a stranger not someone who had personally been violent and threatening to them the day before.

Ring your council/housing association and report that the door has been opened for days - this is a fire hazard.

He could have been arrested or sectioned and the door hasn't been pulled properly but I would imagine his mum or girlfriend would have stopped by the grab his things and his phone.

He could also be dead inside from a drug overdose or suicide and the buzzing noise is his mum/girlfriend trying to get through to him. I personally wouldn't ignore it as it would be his mum etc I would be thinking of when reporting it. You've already rang police/m.p.s/council etc.

Do you have any other neighbours?

I'd leave it. Not worth the drama and "repercussions" if he's died you'll smell it soon then it'll be time to call the police.

He may have committed a serious crime, but police turning up at his home are not in pursuit, so that does not apply. That particular provision only kicks in when the police are chasing someone who runs into a house or flat.

When the police arrived and he came to the door, any disturbance had either ended or was no longer in the flat, so that also does not give the police the power to enter.

I wouldn't do this. He may not be in there but he may have little cameras in there and will see you enter. It's honestly not worth it

That's a good point, and a good reason to call the police.
Another thing is, if he isn't sick/hurt/dead and merely went out forgetting to lock his door (and therefore will be back soon like a bad penny) then a police welfare check on his empty flat could well end up revealing illegal activities they do actually give a shit about. Of course, that might be good might be bad (if it gets him in custody then that's good but if the police investigate and don't do more it might make things worse).
If you called the police for a welfare check would he definitely know it was you/assume it was you? Where I am I could call the police on my neighbour in this situation without them knowing it was me because of how our houses are arranged so would be happy to do so. If they asked I would just deny deny deny, But I definitely wouldn't be popping round myself to show what a friendly neighbour I was.

I wouldn't do a damn thing either. If your going to be a violent arse , then this can be the repercussion. No one gives a tiny fuck if your lying almost dead or dead on the floor in your own flat with the door wide open.
I wouldn't call anyone or get a Male friend around or go look myself. I'd just hope he had died already.
Famous saying in some circles, dont touch the poo. It applies here.

But even a complete psychopath likely has people who might have called a welfare check on him (his mum, an ex, the downstairs neighbour) so I think you could do that without him knowing it was you.