Dating guy whose "wife was shot dead"

[Beautifulbouquet]

For a month I've been casually seeing someone.

He is quite hard work in general.

This weekend he told me that his wife was shot and killed in Afghanistan where she was a marine.

Having looked this up...this seems impossible. A tiny number of British female soldiers were killed in Afghanistan and all deaths are documented on the government website and seem widely reported in the media.

It seems this is a very bizarre lie.

Or I'm losing my sanity.

This is not it and I hope you're faking. If you were worried about someone's response why would you say they're mental and that they're adorable but too nutty for you...
I hope this thread is bullshit

What’s done is done, no point in dragging the OP for how she’s handled things. Ateotd she’s ended things in a way most people would understand and in a light hearted way too. How dude reacts is to be seen and hopefully he’ll back off now. OP at least you’ve done it, I hope you get some decent sleep tonight and that you don’t hear from dude again!

It's good for op to learn this wasn't the way to do it. She's tried light-hearted and it's come across as insulting him and laughing at him. Not great when the man sleeps with a knife under bed.

It’s not dragging her to suggest she takes additional precautions in case he is a risk to her! He sounds quite unstable.

Maybe, but it was starting to look like a pile-on, and that seems unnecessary. I’m sure she’s worried enough.

Right? I cannot understand what on earth was going on with those messages…

This is exactly where I voted get rid. Relationships should make your life nicer; not harder, weirder, more difficult, etc.

Please, OP, stop saying horrible things about yourself 🙏
Be safe: if you can, don't be alone tonight. When you sober up, put a plan together, with support from friends/family to stay far from this man.
I really, really wish you the best in this situation. We're all here with you 💐🙏

If this isn't a wind up OP, then I would remove your post. What happens if this is in the online news tomorrow!

I'm expecting the deletion message anytime now

I agree with this, very identifying

Not surprised.

I think the messages weren’t great but I understand your use of the word “nutter” was more like, you’re a bit silly, we both know that wasn’t the truth etc, and you’ve tried to be really lighthearted like you’re fond of him regardless but don’t think a relationship is the right step forward. I do get it, you didn’t want to angry text him but it’s playing on your mind, especially as you’ve had a drink. Try not to worry about it, like others have said, go home and relax, don’t wind yourself up about this. Hope that that’s the last you hear from him, and please make sure a trusted friend knows all there is to know about this

I'm still confused, couldn't see what his response was??

Most people were absolutely not piling on and criticising. We just hope she does see she may be at risk and put support in place. I really do think it came from a good place from most of us. I know it did from me. I had no bad intentions.

OP I don't think you should send him any more msgs tonight. Hope you're ok

Please do not at all judge yourself.
I have been through hell and back this past year and it's still not over.
I dated someone for only shy of 3 months and the only truthful thing he told me was his date of birth.
Plenty of people will now say they could see through it all, but he knew what he was doing, he has been perfecting his art of manipulation for years!!
All the random lies and stories he set out early on. All the stuff that when I think back I think how stupid I must have been to believe him, he had already embeded storied about early on.
Since we split in Jan this year, I have already been made aware of 8 women who have also fallen for his lies. In addition to this there about 20 other people who have contacted me to share their stories with me from just the past 4 years (2 of which he spent in prison)!!
Just like this guy, he told me his fiance died but to make it worse he told me she died during childbirth to their daughter. All this turned out to be lies!! In reality I have since found out he has an ex wife and 2 sons, the oldest of which is 14 years old!! They all have restraining orders out against him
I've been working with the police since we split as I have found out so many horrific truths about him.
These people know what they are doing and they unfortunately also know who to target. I'm sorry that that sounds awful, but it's true.
I hope you get out of this situation safely.
Please report him to the police for the knife.
Take care of yourself. X

Wow, that seems like the polar opposite of all advice given. Interesting choice, hope it works out.

I think there are just so many tricksters now- Lol at ''Hand on Ha'penny'' ..that is a seriously old expression.
I'm probably a cynic now, after being fed nonsense in the past - Yes, there are good people around, but certainly in dating..there are some dishonest men around {and women}.

I'd rather stick to animals these days {innocent of course!} Easy to live with.

Please do as others say .. run

do not look back

He sounds like my first ex. Ever since that first ex, I've checked up on everything a new partner says to me.

I'n autistic so I'm more vulnerable than most to being taken advantage of. You're not stupid for falling for it at first.

In future, resist the urge to unleash the "gotcha" of letting him know how you found out his lies. All you have done is trained him to refine his lies to better fool the next victim.

Please request that this thread be deleted 💐 Not worth it just in case. And tomorrow in a new thread post that you are ok!

Oh OP, what were you thinking? He hasn't gone away at all has he? Him saying he will "leave it" surely just means that he's not prepared to argue with you about whether his wife died in Afghanistan or not, he is maintaining he's right but as you are so deluded as not to believe him then he's going to choose not to engage with you about that.

What a bizarre text exchange 😕

Oh no..Why did you send those messages to this man?

That really was not at all wise.

You called him out.

That was not advisable.

This will make him stew and feel angry.

Also calling him a 'Nutter'.

Well...It's your decision, but not something I'd have done.