WWYD? BF moving didn’t tell me

[ShockedAF]

Been with bf 3y.
We live next door. We see each other most days and have done for the last 2y.

Recently he’s been on tidy spree, saying he wants to declutter his life. I was over there last night seemed normal.

Today a For Sale sign has gone up. He’s at work. Photographs already online at the Estate Agent.

He’s texting as normal. I feel sick and shaky. I’ve gone ice cold.

He’s decluttering me out of his life isn’t he?

My plan is to just block him and never speak to him again. WWYD?

I’d love that 🤣

I'd want to be cool and not ask....but I just don't have that in me.

Think I would send him a text saying you want to tell him a story. Woman dates man for three years and they happen to be neighbours. She helps him declutter and build up furniture. One day she arrives home to find a "for sale" at his house. Clearly the boyfriend has no morals or sense of decency to mention this to his girlfriend of three years, and as he clearly intended the relationship to end (as who could forgive such actions), she is well rid. Afterall what other conclusion could there be.

Then I would ghost him but get a male friend to ring up the estate agency for some details and ask if the neighbour dispute had been resolved. And just leave it there.

Let him walk away and you watch with a sneer and your head held high. He is a class one coward.

He sounds awful so you'll be well rid I think.

I think just block & ignore.

Don't show any interest at all.

Bloody hell. Why didn't you just text him immediately with a photo and a WTF? That's all you needed to do.
This is a massively dysfunctional three year 'relationship' on both sides. Just ask him.

Oh, hopefully not. Castles are so damp and the upkeep is outrageous.

Thank you. It’s brutal.

What a horrible situation. And to let you help him, too, all the while keeping quiet about what was going on - that's unforgiveable.

On the one hand I'd want to completely ghost him, but in a way that makes it easier for him, doesn't it? He never has to explain himself or have you call him out on it.

When's he planning on telling you? Surely he'll tell you now the sign's gone up?! I'm sorry this happened to you.

Time to buy that massive sound system I think! Nothing like a bit of Muzak to help a viewing go well

😊

and if he has a go at you, look impassive and say if he wants to report you to the council, do remember that he has to disclose any neighbour disputes to his buyers?

I dont understand why you wouldn't just ask instead of jumping to wild conclusions. It's madness you've had this build up of angst, anger, fear etc. instead of texting him or calling him and saying whats going on.

I would question the state of the relationship if you can't ask a simple question.

I’m so sorry, this must be very painful. He sounds like a coward and who knows what is going through his head. Whatever he might be thinking, you really don’t want to be with someone who cannot communicate on a pretty basic level. So in the words of Keanu Reeves (I saw a clip somewhere on this!), thank him for showing you who he is.
You could always send him a text, saying I’m so sorry but I’ve met someone else…I’m so glad you are moving as I know it will be painful for you and I want you to be happy. It’s not you, it’s me…😉

Bugger! I was going to say take the sign down.

Ask him outright. Don't faff about.

I’m still in shock. I think I’ll wait until I’m calmer. I might ask. But I honestly think it speaks for itself. There’s nothing he can say here that I want to hear is there?

Current plan is to say nothing and hibernate until he has moved out. And act cool when my neighbours ask. 😞

🤣

Lol is that meant to be funny? Yeah, she has already questioned the state of the relationship on the grounds that HE HASN’T EVEN TOLD HER THE SIMPLE FACT THAT HE’S SELLING HIS HOUSE!!!

I'd be right round there giving him a hard time. I have absolutely no time for this fuckery but that's just me.
I can't believe the casual attitude and getting you to help him put furniture together.
I'd probably go round there with a tin of paint too and to hell with the consequences.

Perfect. Or should I end with, It’s not me, it’s you ?

thanks for making me laugh though. I’m still so cold.

Current plan is to say nothing and hibernate until he has moved out. And act cool when my neighbours ask.😞

I genuinely cannot understand this. Speak to him like an adult. Be assertive, stop hiding ffs.

My last house move was half a mile, his might be similar?

Are you sure you both saw the relationship in the same terms?

Are you boyfriend and girlfriend officially with both your families and your friendship groups?

Have you talked about the future - if I’d been dating someone for three years who I lived next door to we would have had loads of conversations about future possible living arrangements even in just a joking way “should we build a lm extension and join up both houses with a tunnel and make one huge house!” Etc

Do you go away on holiday together, spend Christmas with each other’s families?

Or…

is it possible he just sees your relationship as a casual arrangement - ‘neighbour with benefits’ type of thing.

If the former then it’s hugely weird he hasn’t told you about a move.

If the latter then it’s still a bit weird but a bit more understandable.

So... you've believed yourself to be in a serious relationship with him all this time...

And he, if asked and had to give an answer, would say he's just had a casual fling with the woman next door as it was convenient?

Yeah, I'd be hiding prawns in there when he's not looking... he's a cunt.

Are you sure you’re in an actual relationship or does he just pop in every other day for sex?

It doesn’t sound like he is in this relationship as much as you are but if you can’t even ask about the house going up for sale then you have no hope of a future anyway.

Why wouldn't she jump to wild conclusions? Her boyfriend who lives next door has put his house up for sale without saying a word to her.

She is questioning the state of the relationship because of what he has done. You sound as though his actions are completely fine and the OP is the problem.

I’ve only read OPs posts but maybe in his head it’s not a big deal. He could be moving to a place in the next street and thinking that will have no impact on the relationship so hasn’t said anything.

Of course, if he’s moving to the other side of the country, he is indeed being a knob.

The only way to find out is to ask. Take some control @ShockedAF and don’t be a passenger in your own relationship. You might be worried over nothing if he’s only going a street away.