WWYD? BF moving didn’t tell me

[ShockedAF]

Been with bf 3y.
We live next door. We see each other most days and have done for the last 2y.

Recently he’s been on tidy spree, saying he wants to declutter his life. I was over there last night seemed normal.

Today a For Sale sign has gone up. He’s at work. Photographs already online at the Estate Agent.

He’s texting as normal. I feel sick and shaky. I’ve gone ice cold.

He’s decluttering me out of his life isn’t he?

My plan is to just block him and never speak to him again. WWYD?

"usually" - I don't think this situation is one that usually comes up here.

You sound nice. Thanks.

Even if you believe everything OP has said verbatim, what good would this do? He's moving house without telling her, why would he give a shit if she sees someone else? 😅

Occam’s razor, which is simpler and more likely?

1. the story is true, the guy did this because he wanted to keep getting laid until the last moment and receive free help carrying things around before moving out and selling his flat, so he kept schtum, and then he blamed it on the OP in the hopes that he could deflect blame and perhaps even continue getting laid, and now the OP is trying to process and is seeking support here, OR

2. The OP has quite an imagination and way too much time on their hands, and has pretended to experience all these various emotions, and hesitations around what to do, etc. but it is actually all an elaborate fake

Maybe I am naive but I personally vote for the first one as being far more likely

Isn’t that what mumsnet relationship board is? A bunch of strangers asking for advice on how to deal with the latest bad behaviour from a partner?

I don’t know what I did that you didn’t like. I didn’t know how to react to something shocking I just saw. My bf was at work and acting normal on text. I didn’t want to ask people who know us as I was embarrassed. So I asked MN as I’ve seen great advice on here over the years.

Anyway. Thanks again to everyone who has offered some witty, kind or hard-to-hear good advice. And for those who’ve had to defend me from some angry sounding posters (so weird).

I think I’ll leave the thread now and return to my usual username.

One thing I have learned though, is to be more patient with posters struggling to LTB. It’s horrible when it’s you.

Thanks to all the lovely ones on here. 💐

you're right, she really isn't, OP- seen her in another thread- very judgemental and yet religious. I think she should start worrying about the hereafter. God's watching after all.

They're the worst ones. People like that put me off going to church full off hypocrites.

Blimey, the knives are out tonight.

i will never understand how every thread has someone saying it’s made up. I would get it if it was something like ‘I slept with Keanu reeves AMA’ but when it’s a plausible scenario… who would bother??

If he gaslights, then he's not a keeper, IMO. Looks like he is gaslighting you by moving in any case.

"Hey, you know I said that I would maybe talk to you tomorrow? I was doing that thing you do. Lying. Have a nice life"

This is perfect and says all you need to say. I would send him that and then block him and disengage totally.

And you know virtually nothing about the OP, other than what she has shared in her posts. I've based what I said on your own words.

Not harsh at all. If you don't believe her, hide the thread and quietly move on. Job done. No need to keep on berating her on the basis of zero evidence. I think it's a really mean thing to do.

I hate to break it to you but I'm long enough in the tooth to know that sometimes, the most ridiculous scenarios are actually true. You ever hear the saying, "you couldn't make it up!"?

Judge Judy was a bit thick, wasn't she? So much in life "doesn't make sense"; doesn't follow that "it's probably not true"!!

I don't actually care whether a post is genuine or not. You can't possibly know. You don't fucking know!! I'm clearly a nicer person than you are, because I believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt, until proven otherwise, and I think it's disgusting to accuse a person of lying when you have no basis in fact.

I reckon you just think you're making yourself look big and clever. And I hate to break this to you (not!), it doesn't. Seems to me that you're the one seeking attention with what you think is a clever post. It's not.

Well this thread has not been deleted.

And how do you know how someone would feel?

Really? I don't think there are many four year olds making posts on MN!

What a nasty comment. Why did you feel the need to share that? It's one of those things that would have been best left in your head.

Why don't you hide this thread, and go and cut your toenails or something?

@ShockedAF

I'm so sorry that you've had those shitty, nasty replies. Why people don't just fuck off if they don't believe something, I will never know! Even if I did think a post was dodgy, I'd never say anything, in the chance it might be genuine. If someone is unwell enough to need to get their kicks from posting made-up shit online, then it's help they need, not censure. And I see nothing dodgy in your post! I think all the self-appointed Sherlock Holmeses should butt out and leave you alone. Please pay no heed to them. They probably just need a good ride!!

I hope the fucker sells quickly and gets the hell out of your face. I think when you really analyse it, this man had a lot of negative qualities, and it was never going to be the partnership you deserve. I am sure he has good ones too - nobody is totally one-dimensional! - and those are what you saw in him.

I wish you all the best x

I had been living with my boyfriend for 2 years when he decided he was ready for his next career move. We were in London, and looked all over at possibilities for him. Then I found out he had applied for something at the other end of the country without telling me - even though he discussed the other applications with me. I asked what would happen if he got it. He said he would move. I asked what he thought that meant for us. He acted defensive and angry I would even ask him. I ended the relationship and left soon after. It is not the actual action that is the issue in these situations - it is the cowardly way of going about it which puts them in the victim position if you have a feeling about it. I think a lot of men make a lot of further problems for themselves (and end relationships) because they dont tell their partners things because they dont want to deal with understandable feelings. Good for you OP. If you ever feel moved to contact him, try this - I am not angry at you, and if you had been honest about what you were doing instead of sneaking around, I would have supported you. Your behaviour and what is shows of your character is very disappointing.

They hate the d word!

I hope you met a good one in the end x

Wow what a prat! Has he tried to contact you any more?

@ShockedAF just thinking - does he have a key to your house? I hope not!

Yes! Why on earth would you not?

Thank you @Runnerinthenight . I never made myself that invested again. I always have my own house to go to or go back to. Men can come and go, but my happiness is not dependent on their choices.

Good for you! Take my hat off to you!