WWYD? BF moving didn’t tell me

[ShockedAF]

Been with bf 3y.
We live next door. We see each other most days and have done for the last 2y.

Recently he’s been on tidy spree, saying he wants to declutter his life. I was over there last night seemed normal.

Today a For Sale sign has gone up. He’s at work. Photographs already online at the Estate Agent.

He’s texting as normal. I feel sick and shaky. I’ve gone ice cold.

He’s decluttering me out of his life isn’t he?

My plan is to just block him and never speak to him again. WWYD?

May be he didn’t. In which case his first and only statement during that phone call would be ‘I am so sorry, I messed up, I didn’t know how to tell you’. I’m not getting that vibe and regardless, that still means he put his discomfort ahead of her emotional needs as a human being which shows an utter lack of empathy. Any one with a bit of empathy would know that this is a shitty and shocking way to find out.

You've diagnosed him as a narcissistic rather than just a nob?
Excellent.
Impressive of you.

Why are people saying to "grey rock"? She's been clear the relationship is over, if he talks to her again (unless about something absolutely vital) she just tells him to go away (and gets the police involved if he starts harassing her).

I think she's done the right thing. Given him chance to explain whilst being open eyed about the fact that he probably won't be transparent about his motivations or show much remorse for getting it so wrong towards her. He has done just that. made it her fault (not the financial issues but lying through omission). She knows where she stands and can move to ignoring him.

OP, not RTFT but read your posts and just want to reiterate that you have nothing to feel embarrassed about. You are simply a nice person who has just been going about life treating people with care and assuming others are both capable of and actually doing the same thing. You have no reason to feel foolish, embarrassed, ashamed. You've done nothing wrong and at least now you know that there's no such thing as benign gaslighting : if someone repeatedly says one thing and does another, wave goodbye and move on.

If it were me, I'd send a message saying: "Do you think you owe me an explanation?". Or words to that effect. I certainly wouldn't want him to think he'd got away scot free.

Not really…

before any offer is accepted agent will need ID and proof of funds. He will see the name on the memo of sale even if OP did have 10% + cash deposit and a MAIP

It should give you some more info and give you a better closure to the relationship then silence.

I'm not surprised you've gone ice cold on him. You've got the psychological ick, as opposed to the physical ick. Is there a word for that?

We used to be very friendly with our next door neighbours and I was absolutely gutted when they put their house on the market without mentioning it to me beforehand. That was over 20 years ago but I still remember the awful feeling it gave me. I can't imagine how much worse it must be if it's your supposed partner doing this behind your back.

I would 100% block him and move on. Which is probably what he wants but even so I wouldn't want to waste any more time on him when he clearly has no regard for you.

No, it wasn't.

OP separate to his obvious gaslighting and lack of communication.

This man has future cocklodger written all over him. Be prepared for a request to move in where he keeps the profit from his house (to pay off debts) and either doesn't pay living with you or pays a pittance.

Bet when you break up with him the house comes off the market.

Don't do that. It may slow down his sale. The faster he sells, the faster he's gone, the better for you.

Well seeing the last OP update on what he told her, blocking would have had the same effect tbh.

Whats the point of a discussion/communicating, if the other person is slippery as elm, gaslight you and actually doesn’t give you any answers?

One million percent this - both sound like four year olds for gods sake

"My plan is to just block him and never speak to him again. WWYD?"

Are you actually less than four?

Only if he tells her the truth or answers her at all.

Classic liar stunt, explaining their lying by saying "you would go mad if you knew".
Best advice ever is to NEVER trust a liar.
It will save you so much heartache.
Lying, gaslighting is a personality disorder in my view.
Completely avoid.

Hmm that woman in the garage could have been the one he’s moving in with. I would have went over. Either way you are better off rid of him

You see the kind of person I am, this whole situation would have been so simple for me.

BLOCK

Jobs done.

Ya, he has been hiding it and wasn't straight with you. Is there any chance he has bought/rented a house with the hope of ye moving in together in the future. I would stand back from this for the moment, say nothing and watch to see what he says for now. If you ask him, he might come up with a dodgy explanation and if you block him you could be making a mistake and he could have had something positive in mind ot something else could be going on. I'd do nothing for now and just watch. You can break up with him in near future if needed. My opinion

With a for sale sign gone up, he should say something to you and probably will. The sign probably went up sooner than he realised. You don't really know the reason yet. You must have got a start when you saw it and realised! I know I would! I'd wait and see for now. Don't be overly nice to him either until you know. You can break up with him then if needed

I think posters need to RTFT and in particular the last update from the OP where she explains how the discussion with said ‘bf’ went…..

He gaslights you and you’re ok with that?

love yourself girl

When you look at something like this, it's funny in retrospect how much shit you can put up with when you're wearing your rose tinted glasses, and in a bit of a love bubble.

The minute an "ick" hits, whether that be a physical or psychological one, every single veil drops and you see a whole different picture.

Been there, done that myself!

Well done OP - he's well and truly shown himself for who he is and has done you a favour.

Let's hope he sells to a nicer, hotter, man!

This is so perfect 😂