Page 15 | WWYD? BF moving didn’t tell me

ShockedAF · 2024-10-09T16:17:11+00:00

Been with bf 3y. We live next door. We see each other most days and have done for the last 2y. Recently he’s been on tidy spree, saying he wants to declutter his life. I was over there last night seemed normal. Today a For Sale sign has gone up. He’s at work. Photographs already online at the Estate Agent. He’s texting as normal. I feel sick and shaky. I’ve gone ice cold. He’s decluttering me out of his life isn’t he? My plan is to just block him and never speak to him again. WWYD?

IhadFeralToddlers · 09/10/2024 22:27

You don't have to ask him. You can simply wish him the best, hope that he sells the house at a profit, that the chain doesn't fall through and leave him there, take the high road on this.

savethatkitty · 09/10/2024 22:37

It sounds like maybe he only ever saw the relationship as casual. It's a dick move though. Who thinks about selling, goes through all the prep, but somehow forgets to mention it.

LovingCritic · 09/10/2024 22:39

halava · 09/10/2024 21:17

I'd be checking the Land Registry to make sure he is the actual owner. If I could be bothered that is.

Yeah, bet he isn't and his landlord or mum and dad or ex. etc.. is selling it...

ClockworkDisaster · 09/10/2024 22:42

What an odd man.

He gets you to help prepare his house for sale without telling you, then gets photos taken and it put on the market without telling you. I am pretty sure my neighbours (that I’ve not been in a relationship with) would have told me before putting a for sale sign up. Let alone one I was seeing.

I can’t think of a single reason for why he has done this that sees him come out as a good person.

roseymoira · 09/10/2024 22:42

I really hope he has come round now to apologise and explain himself. Surely he can't be that much of a cold hearted bastard

samanthablues · 09/10/2024 22:44

LovingCritic · 09/10/2024 22:39

Yeah, bet he isn't and his landlord or mum and dad or ex. etc.. is selling it...

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I agree, jumping to conclusions that he was in a serious relationship with the OP and is 'jumping boat' because he can't face breaking up with her is a bit...wild.

Peoplearebloodyidiots · 09/10/2024 22:45

Op this must feel so hurtful. He has shown you that he doesn't value you enough to share something as big as this....even if he has a reason that's a massive red flag.

If it was me I would go away for a few days to try to distance myself from the situation if possible, and come to terms with the hurt, whilst simultaneously ignoring all correspondence from him.

TillyKister · 09/10/2024 22:47

TheCultureHusks · 09/10/2024 19:22

Or just hit him with a big grey rock?

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😂😂😂😂

samanthablues · 09/10/2024 22:49

15 pages in two hours...we're seriously invested in this now OP, we need an update tomorrow, the suspense is real! 😂

samanthablues · 09/10/2024 22:51

@TheCultureHusks Or just hit him with a big grey rock?

Someone misunderstanding the concept of' grey rocking' 😂

Teeshs · 09/10/2024 22:53

If he gaslights you and then admits it, he is just another LIAR.

His behaviour is predictable.
Liars are never to be trusted.
I think he kept it to himself as long as possible to continue to use the OP.

He's scum.
I wouldn't give him the satisfy of an ounce of upset.

Original poster

ShockedAF · 09/10/2024 23:11

So he rang me about an hour ago. He has got himself into a difficult financial situation, which I knew some of. There are several options open to him. One of which is to sell up but he doesn’t have to.

He did some gaslighting. It’s so weird how he does it. It’s hard to remember afterwards because there’s no logic to it.

After 20 mins of it I told him none of the circumstances or any of that matter it’s the underhanded way he’s done it that was just wrong and I deserved more respect. (I’ve actually supported him through a really bad year for him, not financially, but other things. It’s so disappointing).

He didn’t apologise. He tried more gaslighting saying I would have ‘gone mad’ no matter how he told me. I told him to fuck off and keep on fucking off for that because I just don’t have a ‘going mad’ personality at all. He couldn’t see how it was so bad to see the sign go up. When I said that was ridiculous, he tried making me laugh. Didn’t work.

He honestly is a very interesting and infuriating character.

I ended the call saying it was late and maybe I would talk to him tomorrow. I’m not going to. I just wanted to get off the phone.

Thanks to everyone who was supportive, witty or kind. Or all of those things. You definitely helped calm me down. I haven’t told any friends. And it made me realise I have neglected some friendships. So I need to start putting that right.

I need to end it in the best way for me not sure how yet.

OP posts:

Peoplearebloodyidiots · 09/10/2024 23:14

Nicely handled Op. Hope you are ok.

Singleandproud · 09/10/2024 23:16

Just send him a text now that it's over. That'll do and you can get it all over and done with and start tomorrow a single woman.
He doesn't deserve any more than a text and you don't need to be face to face to hash it out

Original poster

ShockedAF · 09/10/2024 23:17

Peoplearebloodyidiots · 09/10/2024 23:14

Nicely handled Op. Hope you are ok.

Thanks. I feel calm. Maybe before the storm?

I hope I sleep tonight. I have a ton of work to catch up on tomorrow having lost the plot today!

OP posts:

Frith2013 · 09/10/2024 23:19

What a disappointing man.

Well done OP and I hope you have a splendid life going forward.

MrsPerfect12 · 09/10/2024 23:22

Well done OP! Sorry he was a shitty excuse for a boyfriend. Don't let him worm his way back in.

Original poster

ShockedAF · 09/10/2024 23:22

Singleandproud · 09/10/2024 23:16

Just send him a text now that it's over. That'll do and you can get it all over and done with and start tomorrow a single woman.
He doesn't deserve any more than a text and you don't need to be face to face to hash it out

I definitely won’t be meeting him to hash it out. There is no hashing to be done. That hour long call of slipperiness was enough.

I’ll write something tomorrow when I can think straight. You are correct. Text will suffice.

OP posts:

Original poster

ShockedAF · 09/10/2024 23:24

Frith2013 · 09/10/2024 23:19

What a disappointing man.

Well done OP and I hope you have a splendid life going forward.

Indeed.
Thanks Frith. Me too! I’ll be waving him off in every sense of the word when that removal truck heads out of the street!

OP posts:

Original poster

ShockedAF · 09/10/2024 23:25

MrsPerfect12 · 09/10/2024 23:22

Well done OP! Sorry he was a shitty excuse for a boyfriend. Don't let him worm his way back in.

He was indeed. Now looking back, he was shitty AF at times.

OP posts:

VanillaVein · 09/10/2024 23:26

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Bluesandwhites · 09/10/2024 23:28

OP, I haven't read the full thread, but just wanted to reach out and say I would go ice cold too. It's a way of stopping you doing something impulsive if you can stop your emotions. He is compartmentalising by the sound of it, but how utterly disrespectful of him, to not talk to you about it. I would just shun him, but not block him as you could have your own fun, reading his bewildered messages.

ChrisPPancake · 09/10/2024 23:28

ShockedAF · 09/10/2024 23:11

So he rang me about an hour ago. He has got himself into a difficult financial situation, which I knew some of. There are several options open to him. One of which is to sell up but he doesn’t have to.

He did some gaslighting. It’s so weird how he does it. It’s hard to remember afterwards because there’s no logic to it.

After 20 mins of it I told him none of the circumstances or any of that matter it’s the underhanded way he’s done it that was just wrong and I deserved more respect. (I’ve actually supported him through a really bad year for him, not financially, but other things. It’s so disappointing).

He didn’t apologise. He tried more gaslighting saying I would have ‘gone mad’ no matter how he told me. I told him to fuck off and keep on fucking off for that because I just don’t have a ‘going mad’ personality at all. He couldn’t see how it was so bad to see the sign go up. When I said that was ridiculous, he tried making me laugh. Didn’t work.

He honestly is a very interesting and infuriating character.

I ended the call saying it was late and maybe I would talk to him tomorrow. I’m not going to. I just wanted to get off the phone.

Thanks to everyone who was supportive, witty or kind. Or all of those things. You definitely helped calm me down. I haven’t told any friends. And it made me realise I have neglected some friendships. So I need to start putting that right.

I need to end it in the best way for me not sure how yet.

I ended the call saying it was late and maybe I would talk to him tomorrow. I’m not going to. I just wanted to get off the phone.

Well done. Fwiw the last thing I ever said to my ex was "I think it would be best if we don't see each other for a while." Haven't seen him since and that was coming up 30 years ago!

SatansBobbleheadedDashboardOrnament · 09/10/2024 23:28

He lives next door... but you had an hour-long conversation about this on the phone?

Original poster

ShockedAF · 09/10/2024 23:33

Bluesandwhites · 09/10/2024 23:28

OP, I haven't read the full thread, but just wanted to reach out and say I would go ice cold too. It's a way of stopping you doing something impulsive if you can stop your emotions. He is compartmentalising by the sound of it, but how utterly disrespectful of him, to not talk to you about it. I would just shun him, but not block him as you could have your own fun, reading his bewildered messages.

Thanks. I’ve never quite experienced going so cold before so instantly.

Absolutely compartmentalising is exactly it. I couldn’t think of the word before. But he does this a lot. He sometimes bewilders himself when compartments collide. I’ve found it endearing before.

But this is something else.

OP posts: