Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

WWYD? BF moving didn’t tell me

787 replies

ShockedAF · 09/10/2024 17:17

Been with bf 3y.
We live next door. We see each other most days and have done for the last 2y.

Recently he’s been on tidy spree, saying he wants to declutter his life. I was over there last night seemed normal.

Today a For Sale sign has gone up. He’s at work. Photographs already online at the Estate Agent.

He’s texting as normal. I feel sick and shaky. I’ve gone ice cold.

He’s decluttering me out of his life isn’t he?

My plan is to just block him and never speak to him again. WWYD?

OP posts:
Hurrem · 09/10/2024 21:38

Gwenhwyfar · 09/10/2024 21:34

This 'block him' is a childish MN thing I suppose. Who would do that after 3 years???

And obviously those suggestions to just 'ask him' are also ridiculous. Any normal person would have told her.

Show quote history

No it’s not ridiculous to say to just ask him, they are apparently dating 3 years and they live next door to each other. If he isn’t expecting her to ask he’s got a screw loose. I’m not convinced that he considered this to be a relationship

PlanningTowns · 09/10/2024 21:39

Take a photo with you and the for sale sign in the background - big smile and huge thumbs up… then change all your profile pictures on everything 😂😂

you don’t need to say anything then!

FloofPaws · 09/10/2024 21:44

What an arse hat!! I hope he's sweating!!

Gwenhwyfar · 09/10/2024 21:46

Hurrem · 09/10/2024 21:38

No it’s not ridiculous to say to just ask him, they are apparently dating 3 years and they live next door to each other. If he isn’t expecting her to ask he’s got a screw loose. I’m not convinced that he considered this to be a relationship

Show quote history

Well, there's not much point asking because it's obvious, as you say.
It's like when people write to the agony aunt about a terrible relationship problem and she replies to talk to him about it as if that will magically solve it.

Turnups · 09/10/2024 21:46

I would have too much pride to ask him. He has deliberately deceived you. You really don’t want a future with a man like that.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 09/10/2024 21:47

ShockedAF · 09/10/2024 18:44

We get on very well and laugh a lot. Similar tastes in most things.

He does gaslight though. He’ll say he said x when he said y. But it’s mostly been silly things and when I call him out on it, which I do, he does eventually admit it and laugh. But this isn’t one of those times.

He isn’t usually narky. Just evasive. And tries to crack jokes and deflect. Anyway I think I need to start moving on.

Maybe you and PP were right. It wasn’t a relationship in his eyes.

Show quote history

Look, you have had a relationship with him. His behaviour now is one big gaslight.

Oi, BF, what's going on?

Ask the damn question. Don't let him squirm out of answering. And don't doubt yourself.
Then. Make. Your. Decision.
You've got this. Take control.

Liveheretoo · 09/10/2024 21:49

Just curious as to what he said in his texts today? Were they friendly? Did they give a clue as to what he is thinking?

Bunnie007 · 09/10/2024 21:54

This is so bizarre. I think he’s shown his true colours behaving this way!!!! I hope you are able to move on with out too much pain. Hopefully the sale will be quick and he’ll be out of your day to day life soon so you can get over him without having to see him

Hurrem · 09/10/2024 21:54

Gwenhwyfar · 09/10/2024 21:46

Well, there's not much point asking because it's obvious, as you say.
It's like when people write to the agony aunt about a terrible relationship problem and she replies to talk to him about it as if that will magically solve it.

Show quote history

At the moment they are BOTH playing games, and it’s ridiculous

WigglyVonWaggly · 09/10/2024 21:56

Don’t let him know about any tears or humiliation. The weirdo is purposely causing your hurt feelings - god knows why he wants to do this to you - so don’t give him that control.

Be powerful. Tell him that you have no respect for a man who is too cowardly to speak to you about things, who conceals things rather than faces them and who is dishonest. That you aren’t devastated - just relieved to have the knowledge that ending things immediately and never thinking of him again is without doubt the correct decision.

Cry all you like after that 💐

NewFriendlyLadybird · 09/10/2024 21:56

ShockedAF · 09/10/2024 17:25

Honestly would people all just ask? It seems obvious he’s been hiding it from me. Will he just expect me to casually ask? Would he see me tonight and just not mention it? I’m so confused!

Of course I’d ask! Not casually either. I’d ask him to explain himself.

TheShellBeach · 09/10/2024 21:59

I can't believe he had the nerve to send you some innocuous texts today, knowing that you were about to find out that he was selling his house.

What a bastard.

MelainesLaugh · 09/10/2024 22:02

What a tool. I definitely think we should all book a viewing!

Serenitymummy · 09/10/2024 22:03

There's no way I could have said nothing, has he messaged you again yet if he was expecting to see you this evening?

TillyKister · 09/10/2024 22:03

So you've been seeing this guy for 3 years?... Who lives next door?... He's put his house up for sale without telling you?

Why aren't you asking him wtf is going on?

Were you actually in a full relationship? Was he your exclusive boyfriend?

Or was he a boy, that's a friend?

It all seems very odd 🤔

LabFab · 09/10/2024 22:05

MelainesLaugh · 09/10/2024 22:02

What a tool. I definitely think we should all book a viewing!

Are you suggesting that the OP posts a link to the sale page sometime this evening, and that around 600 random MNers telephone the EA to make appointments for over the coming weekend/next week and then don't turn up for any of them?

Honestly. Some people.

Sharontheodopolodous · 09/10/2024 22:06

I had something similar happen years ago

I had been seeing a guy for about 2 years

All good,no issues,enjoyed his company,sex was good etc

We'd planned to meet up on the thursday-he moved away (over 100 miles away) on the Tuesday(he'd been planning this move for months)

Turns out,he'd found himself a boyfriend,had been seeing him for a while and they where moving in together-he'd only been seeing me as a cover to keep his mum happy (nice of him to tell me!)

I only found out by sheer chance

Std checks,a lot of tears and grieving for the man I cared deeply about-i can see the funny side now,25 years later

Just and through gritted teeth

BigSmallFigBall · 09/10/2024 22:07

Please block him.

What a wanker.

Notamum12345577 · 09/10/2024 22:08

Strange and really horrible! But you have been together 3 years, you need to ask him for closure

babyproblems · 09/10/2024 22:08

What a bizarre thing to do! Surely he’d have known you’d see the sign outside!!?? He sounds very strange op. Are you sure he doesn’t think he is moving in with you!!? Ask him what the f is going on. Good luck x

ceruleansky · 09/10/2024 22:15

My dumb ass would've thought he was going to propose and move in with me or ask me to move in with him into a bigger house.
But I would have asked..

Mumtobabyhavoc · 09/10/2024 22:15

TillyKister · 09/10/2024 22:03

So you've been seeing this guy for 3 years?... Who lives next door?... He's put his house up for sale without telling you?

Why aren't you asking him wtf is going on?

Were you actually in a full relationship? Was he your exclusive boyfriend?

Or was he a boy, that's a friend?

It all seems very odd 🤔

No matter what, it'd bloody bizarre behaviour.
Even if "just friends" or casual fwb, isn't it weird he's made her feel so doubtful and humiliated that she can't ask a simple question of, Hey, what's going on? Weird that he hasn't told his friend of three years, that he talks to and texts daily, Hey, I've put my house up for sale.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 09/10/2024 22:17

Sharontheodopolodous · 09/10/2024 22:06

I had something similar happen years ago

I had been seeing a guy for about 2 years

All good,no issues,enjoyed his company,sex was good etc

We'd planned to meet up on the thursday-he moved away (over 100 miles away) on the Tuesday(he'd been planning this move for months)

Turns out,he'd found himself a boyfriend,had been seeing him for a while and they where moving in together-he'd only been seeing me as a cover to keep his mum happy (nice of him to tell me!)

I only found out by sheer chance

Std checks,a lot of tears and grieving for the man I cared deeply about-i can see the funny side now,25 years later

Just and through gritted teeth

Holy f*! 😲

Hurrem · 09/10/2024 22:20

Gwenhwyfar · 09/10/2024 21:46

Well, there's not much point asking because it's obvious, as you say.
It's like when people write to the agony aunt about a terrible relationship problem and she replies to talk to him about it as if that will magically solve it.

Show quote history

It will magically solve it, in that she will know what is actually going on….

samanthablues · 09/10/2024 22:20

"@Is it possible he could have got himself into financial trouble and have to sell? Maybe he's too embarrassed/in denial to tell you?"

That's the first thing I thought, maybe he's moving down the block, maybe he didn't see the OP as a serious relationship but more like a FWB who happen to live very close by? I would be interested in knowing if there where any talks of a future together/commitments of any sorts. Blocking the guy with no explanation is truly bonkers but that's just me, imagine the guy is just moving down two streets away and find himself blocked, weird stuff.