WWYD? BF moving didn’t tell me

[ShockedAF]

Been with bf 3y.
We live next door. We see each other most days and have done for the last 2y.

Recently he’s been on tidy spree, saying he wants to declutter his life. I was over there last night seemed normal.

Today a For Sale sign has gone up. He’s at work. Photographs already online at the Estate Agent.

He’s texting as normal. I feel sick and shaky. I’ve gone ice cold.

He’s decluttering me out of his life isn’t he?

My plan is to just block him and never speak to him again. WWYD?

Quite agree! Rip the plaster off. Better to deal with the facts than to torture oneself with conjecture.

This is brilliant

Post a leaving present to the fucker @ShockedAF a little reminder of the time spent together.

https://www.glitterbombyourenemies.co.uk/

If you were in a relationship with him, you’d be round there straightaway.
Your passive response lets people walk all over you

Regarding g the woman in the garage have you looked on Facebook marketplace and gumtree etc to see if he's advertised anything for sae?

There might be wording such as

Emigrating to Australia, everything must ho.

Getting married and having a clear out.

Etc

Sorry this is happening, OP.

I would wait for him to say something and just say something like, “That’s nice, I hope it sells really quickly.”

good luck.

They’ve been together three years, if it hasn’t crossed his mind to tell her, even when he had her round helping him de-clutter, then I think that tells her everything frankly. But we all have different standards and ideas of what’s acceptable I guess. 🤷‍♀️

You've decided on a plan and posted here without even waiting for an explanation from him?

@ShockedAF as others have said - just send the pic of the sign. Say ‘any reason you didn’t think to tell me you’re moving’? Wait for response. Then decide.

I would expect after three years of a relationship you might mention selling a house. It is quite odd not to.
I would also assume the woman in the garage is his ex-wife he has also not mentioned and the divorce is going through and he needs to sell.
And that he doesn’t want to have to tell his ex-wife about you or you about his ex-wife.
So he has left it so late, the for sale sign is up.

But then my DD’s father managed to have a whole other baby without telling me until said baby was one and my friend saw them and I had to ask him if DD had a sister she should know about 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think the fact that you already describe him as gaslighting you on other matters suggests it is time to call it a day anyway. He has done you a favour here.

I would try to do this, but the temptation to tell him off would be strong.

What a twat

I honestly can't understand why you didn't text -

'Why on earth didn't you tell me you were selling your house?'

Just that. Why wouldn't you have sent that?

It's all very bizarre that he puts up for sale and never mentions it even when you're helping him de clutter and then you don't mention seeing the for sale sign and then the estate agent photos?!

I’d text him “why on earth wouldn’t you tell me that you were selling your house?? How weird!”

If he sends some bullshit back send another saying “you’ve done some very strange things over the years, but this takes the biscuit. Did you think I’d be begging you not to do it or something?? If so don’t worry- it’s been fun, but you were never marriage material and I’ll be absolutely fine moving on without you next door.”

I think just ghosting him will boost his ego, he’ll think it’s because you’re broken hearted.. Focus on the strange things he’s done and think of his moving as an opportunity to move onto someone better next time.

Do what RunningInRain did and just never mention it, and not contact him again.

It looks like it was a relationship to you.

To him it seems to have been a very practical and lazy FWB situation. The fact you are nervous to ask shows that you kind of knew the situation.

He's not been polite but I should imagine he is doing this to show you exactly how he views your relationship.

He's been a user, he's also a rude coward with no manners.

I honestly don't think being angry, blocking him or any acts of retribution will affect anything, you will either talk or not talk till he goes, I don't think he cares either way.

Some people are like this, you live and learn.

I didnt say I would be happy he hadnt mentioned it, but that it doesnt necessarily mean any of the suggestions put forward here, some of which have been very OTT. A simple text asking the question would have answered it all several hours ago. Instead the OP has spent the afternoon all over the place about it.

If he is a shit ok, at least she knows. If he isnt but hadnt placed much importance on it or perhaps thought he had mentioned it and hadnt then, again, at least she will know. But my point is that this ghosting blocking thing is ridiculous and totally OTT without at least asking the question. Its barmy quite frankly!

Silence is the best at this point I think.
make him broach it first,
kind of satisfying to think about him wondering what’s going on and what you’re thinking

Even as friends with benefits, surely it would come out at some point that he's selling up and moving? No he's wanting out of the relationship and too weak to tell the OP he's moving house. He's doing her a favour, what a vile man he is!

I honestly can't understand why you didn't text -
'Why on earth didn't you tell me you were selling your house?'

This.

Honestly I'd say it's not looking good either way but it's just possible there is some explanation. If he really is this odd and as you say sly - yes it's a shock but long term you deserve better.

@ShockedAF I have a lot of grey rock in my back garden!! I can send some down to you. you can drop it from an upstairs window right onto his head! what a horrible excuse of a man!

If I had been seeing someone for 3 years, daily more or less for the past 2, I would expect them to mention they were putting their house on the market.

Not being all "understanding" there might be a good reason he hadn't said anything. What reason could there be?

If he thinks it's a FWB why would that stop him saying a word?

If he was having money trouble again why not say, I need some equity out of the house?

If he wanted to end the relationship, again it's not an excuse not to say anything.

It's not the selling a house that is the problem here it's not saying a fucking word about it after 2-3 years. Whatever the reason, and in the end who cares it's been done now, he knows him moving will be a big change for OP regardless of why he's moving.

It's just a lack of common decency. Utter contempt for OP.

So whilst I wouldn't be a screaming banshee I wouldn't be fucking understanding either. And neither would my H have been if I had done this to him after 3 years together, I mean would anyone? Really. After best part of 3 years.

I would ignore texts. This is not a get out via text type of situation.

This thread is utterly bananas. I honestly just don’t get it.

Yes, 100% this fella has behaved appallingly. He’s clearly a knob.

But to me, the idea of blocking is equally appalling behaviour. I’ve been out of the dating game for a while - is this how it’s done now? It’s a really odd passive way to engage with people as far as I can see.

I don’t think you have to ask him about it, or come across needy or attached. As others have said, you could simply say: ‘I saw the For Sale sign and was surprised and let down that you didn’t tell me you were selling. Honesty and communication are important to me, and this behaviour falls below my standards. This relationship is now over for me.’

But to block without engaging at all is just utterly bananas to me.

What a cunt.
I’m really sorry, this is a horrible way to behave.

Chin up, head held high.
I think I’d act as though nothing had happened; he’ll be looking for a reaction from you.
Bright and breezy, if you can manage it. Although obviously, you won’t be inviting him in for coffee.

Not being all "understanding" there might be a good reason he hadn't said anything. What reason could there be?

I can't think of one but more interested if he actually offered one by text - if nothing else may good for a laugh when this all passes into personal history.