Husband said angrily, I dressed like a whore.

[Emmz35]

I could really use some advice on how to handle a situation with my husband.

Last night, my husband told me he wanted to take me out for dinner, which I was really excited about. I've been feeling a bit down lately, so I was looking forward to this. I chose an outfit I thought he'd like – a sleeveless blazer with trousers and a corset top underneath. It was a classy look, and while the corset peeked out a little, I felt it was elegant and not too revealing.

When my husband saw me, he didn’t say anything at first, which made me self-conscious, so I asked him what he thought. He eventually said the outfit was “inappropriate” and, after some back and forth, raised his voice and said 'you are dressed like a whore” during an argument. This really hurt me. I’ve worn sexier outfits around him before without issue. He’s also made comments in the past about not wanting me to wear certain things because he doesn’t want other men looking at me. His reaction was harsh.

I feel embarrassed and deeply hurt by his words, especially since I’ve been struggling emotionally recently. He knows how I like to dress and how much I love him, and I never thought my outfit would trigger this kind of response. He’s generally a loving, caring husband who wants to make me happy, but this situation has left me feeling insecure and confused.

How do I approach this? I know he’ll apologize, but how do I move forward when I want to express myself through my clothing without worrying about him feeling disrespected? I don’t think I was in the wrong, but I also don’t want this to keep happening. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Below is a picture off of Google to show an image similar to what I was wearing. The colouring in black is to show what was covered, just a peep of my corset and I have smaller boob's so there was no cleavage and the corset was much higher then this females corset top so less chest was on show.

He was very wide eyes, stating that 'you dress respectable around family, why can't you respect your husband'. He isn't a religious person and he knows how I dress when he met me. He is okay when it suits him going to different places when I wear something much more revealing then this.

Is your post for real?

If my DH called me that, I would tell him to do one.

Your husband is a disrespectful abusive misogynist
He'd call me a whore one time only and he'd be out of the fucking door
Raise your standards

This is an insecure, jealous and controlling man OP. He decides what you can and can't wear when you go out with friends and calls you a whore when you dress up a bit sexy to go out with him. Insecure, jealous and controlling men do not make good partners or husbands.

I think you need to tell him you have a problem with how insecure, jealous and controlling he is and you've had enough. So he needs to start trusting you and allowing you to be yourself or he can leave. I would suggest to him that counselling might him get to the bottom of his issues.

Thank god you don't have kids yet OP. Please don't have kids with this man.

If my husband called me a whore or said I looked like or dressed like a whore he would rapidly become my ex husband. Whether your outfit was too revelling for the venue or classy or not is absolutely irrelevant here. What he has called you is despicable and misogynistic.

I'm sorry, OP, but it sounds like you're married to a disgusting man who would blame women for being raped or sexually assaulted based on them 'asking for it'.

There is no place in a civilised society for men who blame women for men's actions. None.

Thank god you don't have children with this pig.
Please wake up to just how controlling and abusive he is.
This is not a man to ever be vulnerable with.
I have no doubt the abuse of you would ramp up considerably.

He's annoyed you dressed so confidently!
Also, would any of his friends have made sexual remarks about you? You know what guy's can be like!

Stop apologizing to these people. It’s obvious you made a mistake and they are just being twats

He’s a misogynist pig.

Like hell would someone get the chance to say I looked like a whore more than once.

You are underreacting - this is GROSS.

Never have a baby with this man. Find a more decent man. Maybe he has experience with “whores” that he knows so much.

Im not sure what’s more disturbing- the fact that he wants you to inform him when men approach you or the fact that you say it as though this is normal.

Your husband is vile.

I would not be with a man who spoke to me like that. Raise your bar.

How do you approach this? With divorce papers.

You married a misogynistic pig. Why is he so deeply threatened by men approaching you? Is he unable to control himself around women who aren’t covered up, or is he special and different? Does he watch porn?

This man is a disgusting piece of shit and anyone even slightly defending his because is too IMO.

Your outfit was great very trendy and classy but your fella sounds an arse sorry but so what if other men look at you, does he not trust you? When me and my partner go out and see any of his mates hes always telling me that they think Im hot and fit and he loves it because he knows Id never cheat. Dont put up with him calling you an whore either ts tottally disrespectful and sounds like hes back in the Jack the Ripper days.

Men who think they have some sort of automatic right to respect because they're someone's husband, partner, father or whatever are really quite pathetic, especially when they start making up their own "rules" about what does and does not show respect to them. Point out that respect has to be earned, and that sort of behaviour doesn't engender respect at all.

Where’s the pic lol

For the OP, I think this is

So your husband is abusive and you've come on here to see if his behaviour can be justified? It doesn't matter what you were wearing. It's clothing and nothing more.

You know you need to leave him because he will do it again, he will apologise again, and you will continue to be beaten down by this scumbag.

Op this is abusive and it's how abuse escalated. It is absolutely unacceptable for him to call you a whore, it's unacceptable for him to dictate what you wear whether you are with him or not. All this "jealous of other men" is a massive red flag and it's a statement of his own insecurities.
I would be sitting down and having a very frank conversation. Requiring he goes to therapy and setting boundaries that if he crosses you're out.

You don't have a great relationship if he thinks calling you a whore (and on multiple occasions!) is acceptable.

Well it's a tricky one. On the one hand, from your own description, your dress style sounds as if may veer a little toward the tarty (a sleeveless blazer and bodice/corset could never-ever be considered 'classy' and is a world away from 'elegant' - the fact that you consider it so speaks volumes). On the other hand - it shouldn't matter one single jot, not to you and most definitely not to your husband, and the fact that he feels so strongly about it is concerning.

You shouldn't ever have to change your style - as you said, he knew how you dressed when you decided to have a serious relationship, but by the same token it upsets him and you love him so some serious and open conversations need to be had about how the two of you can negotiate something that sounds like it has become an issue in your marriage.

This guy is a controlling, insecure dickhead.

OP looks great here agreed