Mother in law ott reaction

[Anon35x]

So now and again me and my partner send each other a few naughty messages, while busy i sent him a message saying I'm in the shower, all wet, and not just from the shower, can't wait for you to get here, why don't you come and join me 😉
At the time my partners at his mom's and for some reason my brain has told me to send it to his mom... I had a message back pretty quick saying "I'd rather NOT!! now have some god damn respect and stop talking filth"
Talk about embarrassing, but I sent a text back saying I apologise and wasn't meant for her but her son, later that day I bumped into her in the shop and she didn't even talk to me or the grandkids just turned her back to us, I apologised and said it was meant for my partner and she completely ignored me and my kids, she hasn't spoke to any of us since (2 months ago). Even ignoring her son and grandkids when my non verbal autistic son went up to her and gave her a hug she pulled away and walked out the supermarket, God knows how she would of felt if it was more of a naughty one as that was pretty mild lol but feel like her reactions way over the top, how do I fix this?

You sent a saucy text to your MIL?
Aye, right.

You have apologised, I’m not sure what else you can do. Her ignoring your kids is bang out of order though

Haha omg! Youve apologised. Shes carrying it on and created a massive situation here out of something that could have simply been ignored! Sad as it is, unless she can get over herself, shes lost contact with her son and his family

See now this should be a hilarious embarrassing story. However your MIL's reaction is completely not. She may be upset by you, however taking it out on your children is completely unacceptable.
I assume you have told your partner about this? What are his thoughts?

Having also sent text messages to the wrong person, I feel your pain 🤦‍♀️ Nothing else you can do to “fix” it. You’ve apologised, she needs to grow up.

I know several times she's ignored them now, my oldest has seen her a few times and ran up to her and she's turned her back, my youngest luckily is to young to understand and my son clearly looked so confused when she pulled away and walked off, but my daughters asked me what she's done wrong and got upset how can I explain to a 11 year old what happened?x

My partner thought it was funny and thought her reaction was completely over the top, and when he tried to contact her about seeing his daughter who his mom has custody over (previous relationship) she's ignored him, he's gone to the house and she's ignored the door, she pretty much ran to the car one day at sainsbury so she could avoid him, so not only is this effecting 4 children but my partner as well.

Why does his mum have custody of his DD?

@Anon35x that is shocking behaviour, your partner must be really hurt by that. On the upside at least he has you with a sense of fun! Hopefully MIL will come around in time and realise how stupid she is being. It is hurting her more than anyone else.

Well if she has custody of your partners child then there is probably an issue with his ex so perhaps MIL has over reacted because she has seen some nonsense before from her sons relationships and thinks "here we go again". There must be something going on for your partner not to have custody either
I am not saying she's right, just offering a possible explanation

Well you cant say you havent tried. What about writing a letter from both of you apologising for a final time explaining that she will lose you all if it cannot be sorted. We all make mistakes but the poor children with her behaviour. The longer this goes on the bigger it gets. So silly on her behalf.

Are your children also his biological children?

I don't think so, so the kids are not actually her Grandchildren (unless she considers them to be)

If she has custody of her sons biological child and the son is living with a woman and raising her children (not related to him) and there is a history of exes then perhaps this woman thinks here we go again.

How long are you together OP?

I don't want to go into too much detail, but when him and his ex split up after he found she was cheating, this person was abusing her, and in return she was abusing her children, the home was filthy, the kids was, they would go to school with bruises, etc and his daughter was showing worrying signs (S/A) .. my partner reported it to social sevices several times, we got together as social services was investigating a year in I fell pregnant with our first child together and after the court case she was placed with his mom as our relationship was too fresh and children's mom was putting up a big fight to not have her placed with us as she didn't like the fact he was with me where his mom has everything we didn't extra space, close to schools, own home

My 2 children are his biological children and the oldest he has brought up since she was very little

So you are basically the reason MIL has custody of his older child rather than her father? Not blaming you for that, I am blaming him BUT you may not be MIL's favourite person anyway and this was the icing on the cake

I was going to say your partner should tell her that unless she believed your children were found under a gooseberry bush and learning that you have sex has blown her mind, she’s being a total shit about what was a genuine mistake.

But unless he’s got legal visitation rights for his daughter he might not want to upset the delicate daisy further.

Maybe just tell your children she is unwell and doesn’t want them to catch it, or the illness has made her very forgetful. That wouldn’t be a complete lie. She’s certainly forgotten her manners when it comes to them

I suppose you could see it that way, but we used to have her school holidays and weekends as of the court order until she started ignoring us, now she's breaking the court order too, my partners got in touch with the solicitor for advice but was hoping to resolve the issue first before taking it into anyone else's hands as we feel his daughters already been though enough without dragging other people into her life again! With social services/courts councillors etc..x

You have apologised, nothing more you can do.
If she carries on ignoring her grandchildren then grey rock. I wouldn't have my children subjected to that form of abuse.

The MIL may not approve of the numbers of children being created, especially as she has custody of one of them since her son decided to have yet more children without being able to adequately provide for the first one.
I doubt she's a "delicate daisy," just sick of the utterly irresponsible bonking bunnies she has the pleasure to call her son and daughter-in-law (if married).

All of which could have been avoided if your partner had her come and live with him when he noticed that there were issues with her mother rather than get into a relationship and have a baby very quickly with another woman.
I am not trying to have a go at you OP, I don't think that you have done anything wrong here but the facts suggest he isn't father of the year and he has one nightmare mother of his child already (allegedly) so MIL is probably concerned that she is facing another shit show, especially if there was inapporpriate behaviour from his ex
Of course one saucy text isn't a big deal but I am trying to see why MIL might have had such an extreme reaction . Hopefully in time things will settle down as its very unfair on all the children involved.

How can you assume that? We was a year into our relationship when it was in court, mom of his daughter was putting up a fight to not have his daughter placed into our new relationship, so nan stepped in otherwise this girl would of ended up in care, he was given by court order weekends and school holidays, we both work, we have a home, we drive and more then capable of providing for her and our children just now she's settled with nan and nan was more then happy with this we wasn't going to fight any further and uproute her from her home, she's happy and settled, so partner and I have her school holidays and weekends up until recently when nan threw a wobbly, we have always got on well until then and it came out of no where that's why we've been trying to work at it for the sake of us and the kids

Does sound like a lot of children in a chaotic environment..

As for the MIL reaction, perhaps its just the icing on a top of a wider resentment for you? Most MILs would either be mildly embarrassed or find it hilarious so her reaction is saying a lot about her deeper relationship with you.

OR he could have prioritised his daughter over a new relationship