Mother in law ott reaction

[Anon35x]

So now and again me and my partner send each other a few naughty messages, while busy i sent him a message saying I'm in the shower, all wet, and not just from the shower, can't wait for you to get here, why don't you come and join me 😉
At the time my partners at his mom's and for some reason my brain has told me to send it to his mom... I had a message back pretty quick saying "I'd rather NOT!! now have some god damn respect and stop talking filth"
Talk about embarrassing, but I sent a text back saying I apologise and wasn't meant for her but her son, later that day I bumped into her in the shop and she didn't even talk to me or the grandkids just turned her back to us, I apologised and said it was meant for my partner and she completely ignored me and my kids, she hasn't spoke to any of us since (2 months ago). Even ignoring her son and grandkids when my non verbal autistic son went up to her and gave her a hug she pulled away and walked out the supermarket, God knows how she would of felt if it was more of a naughty one as that was pretty mild lol but feel like her reactions way over the top, how do I fix this?

You must be living under a rock if you don't understand people accidentally send texts to the wrong people all the time.
From the 1980s pre-mobile phone and zoomed straight to 2024, did you?

@Anon35x You have had some really nasty comments and criticisms on here, l cant believe how unpleasant some posters are. Please ignore them OP they don't deserve a reply.
I'm glad you have got to the root of your partner's Mum's behaviour, l thought it must be something more than the text. Hopefully you will be able to support her through whatever is troubling her and harmony can be restored between you all.

@CrochetForLife are you actually staying that the OP has issues with her family members because she writes "was" instead of "were" 😂 also it wasn't politely correcting, it was passive aggressive and patronising. Also I notice the OP uses the word "mom" which suggests that she is from the West Midlands, and actually in certain areas across the West Midlands it can be common to hear "was" instead of "were", and it does certainly not suggest that those people didn't finish school or have minimum wage jobs. Get a grip and step outside of your ivory tower!

Sending a message to the wrong person has happened to us all at some point. You’ve apologised so in theory, moving on should be easy.

Clearly not here though, I suspect as someone else upthread suggested this was a straw that broke the camels back incident for your MIL.

It is really very odd that she is ignoring her younger grandchildren though regardless of the reasoning for her reaction to the message/situation.

You’re so grown up aren’t you!?

It absolutely is considered bad etiquette.

@CrochetForLife I'm so glad I managed to view your reply before it was deleted! I have an English BA so no need to preach on comprehension, perhaps though you should reflect on why several of your comments have been deleted and go and find a more productive use of your time rather than wasting it on a thread where your input holds no value

Pressed the wrong button, soz.

No, I've got to grips with the tech, thanks very much, but I can appreciate that maybe people such as yourself or the OP may struggle with it, Well at least you're giving it a go , dear, well done.

Everyone saying "we've all done it" about sending a text to the wrong person, it's one thing to send a fresh text (I've done it myself) but how does a reply to a text go to the wrong person? OP says upthread she was replying to her partner. Doesn't make sense.

No it’s not a dick move. Uneducated people on the whole raise disadvantaged children. It’s not too much to ask parents to understand basic English grammar when they have brought many children into the world.

Or even one child into the world.

So you are saying that people should be tested on their understanding of basic English grammar before they are allowed to have children??

A lot of the spelling or grammatical errors made on Mumsnet posts are just typos or regional variations. However, some very vulnerable posters do not have English as a first language or a good grasp of English grammar and the snarky corrections of their mistakes will drive them off Mumsnet where they have come for support. That is why I think it is a dick move.

So? What does that change?

You still don't screw up your current kids lives because your parents went to school together.

How much financial support does your DH give his mum?

The OP’s first language is obviously English. She doesn’t appear to be vulnerable. She does however appear to be uneducated and there is nothing wrong with correcting her. The rest of your post is ridiculous.

@thepariscrimefiles great comment, I could not agree with you more. It really is a dick move and offers absolutely no help to the situation whatsoever. It's really unpleasant and unnecessary

Bye I get corrected for my American English every day. Because it’s wrong or because it’s not culturally acceptable? Who knows. But I correct myself.

Not a dick move at all. There are children involved and bad choices have already been made.

You have no idea about her educational qualifications. She is posting on a parenting forum, not writing an academic paper. People with a variety of backgrounds and levels of education post on here and they should all be made welcome.

You sound like a supporter of eugenics with your views about who should be able to have children. You also sound extremely rude.

I was pointing this fact out because someone said I was irresponsible for moving him in so quickly, when we have known each other for a very very long time and my partner is in a very well paid job and gives his mom a fair amount of money plus we also supply for her when she's at ours the weekends, school holidays and towards uniforms, clothing, we pay for her dance classes and take her on holidays and trips we are both full time working parents with my partner working in the emergency services and I own my own business

And non of us screwed up our kids lives, the dirty monster that abused her done that, my partner got her out of it, she's now very happy, content, well looked after, clean & doing amazing at school, something she wasn't doing beforehand. Just because we haven't pulled her away from nans care don't mean we love her any less or gets treated any different to my children, she's included in everything, she has everything she wants and needs & she had a say of what she wanted as she's old enough to make that decision and she wanted to stop with nan because she's next to her school friends, she's got a big bedroom and here she would have to share with her sister and who are we to take that away from her if that's her wishes? She's happy coming here Friday to Monday and on school holidays and stays at nans Monday to Thursday, to some what we have her more then nan does, just nan has special guardianship where my partner has parental rights and court order to see her on those times

They didn’t chose to, her birth control failed. Yes they choose to in the fact they had sex, but they didn’t plan to have a baby

Hope it goes well when MIL receives the flowers and cake. The bad news she has had must have been devastating to make her pull away like she has. I think you are right in giving her space, the timing of the text must have tipped the poor woman over the edge. Hopefully she will get the support she needs for whatever has happened.

Unless she thinks the message was genuinely for her and you were trying it on with her, her reaction is awful. She should be doing her best to laugh it off and make you not feel uncomfortable and she should be happy her son clearly has a loving intimate relationship. Have you considered that she might think it was actually for her and you said it was for her son as a cover up.

Finally had a phone call and it's devastating news, MIL has stage 4 breast cancer, we are absolutely heart broken as we already lost his dad & my mom and dad to cancer just 2 years ago, she had to have time to process it herself and the day my partner was there and picked her up from shopping was the day she found out so it was very bad timing 😢 we are going to see her tomorrow.