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Original poster

Mother in law ott reaction

129 replies

Anon35x · 29/09/2024 08:26

So now and again me and my partner send each other a few naughty messages, while busy i sent him a message saying I'm in the shower, all wet, and not just from the shower, can't wait for you to get here, why don't you come and join me 😉
At the time my partners at his mom's and for some reason my brain has told me to send it to his mom... I had a message back pretty quick saying "I'd rather NOT!! now have some god damn respect and stop talking filth"
Talk about embarrassing, but I sent a text back saying I apologise and wasn't meant for her but her son, later that day I bumped into her in the shop and she didn't even talk to me or the grandkids just turned her back to us, I apologised and said it was meant for my partner and she completely ignored me and my kids, she hasn't spoke to any of us since (2 months ago). Even ignoring her son and grandkids when my non verbal autistic son went up to her and gave her a hug she pulled away and walked out the supermarket, God knows how she would of felt if it was more of a naughty one as that was pretty mild lol but feel like her reactions way over the top, how do I fix this?

OP posts:
BettyBardMacDonald · 29/09/2024 09:53

Hoppinggreen · 29/09/2024 09:14

OR he could have prioritised his daughter over a new relationship

This.

His irresponsible sex life has drastically affected her, and limited her options in life. I don't blame her for being fed up with it and any reminders.

She shouldn't be mean to the kids, though. It's not their fault.

Original poster
Anon35x · 29/09/2024 09:54

Overtheatlantic · 29/09/2024 09:42

We were, not we was

Sorry perfect pants!

OP posts:
BettyBardMacDonald · 29/09/2024 09:54

Temporaryname158 · 29/09/2024 09:23

Her reaction is an over reaction however your partner was a poor father.

the alternative to the MIL having his daughter wasn’t going into care, it was him leaving you to live independently and care for his child, perhaps later moving in together. He chose you over his child, so I can see why the MIL might not be too impressed by this relationship overall. She may also have interpreted your message as trying to lure him away from visiting her/his daughter.

Well said @Temporaryname158

Hoppinggreen · 29/09/2024 09:56

CrochetForLife · 29/09/2024 09:53

It takes a few minutes in a registry office.

Show quote history

And might have meant that the child got to live with her Father, although to be fair with a relatively new pregnant partner and other children perhaps her Grandma was a better option

Original poster
Anon35x · 29/09/2024 10:00

Well I'm going to close this thread now because I asked for help and advice not to be criticised, spoke to like crap and have my partner put down over his parenting skills when non of you know the full story! What happened to being kind, women supporting women, and all that bull shit, most of you are little trolls sat there trying to put people down and making them feel shit for no reason! This is what's wrong with the world today and let's hope you are all bringing your children up different not to be so judgmental, bitchy, and to be kind

OP posts:
DoreenonTill8 · 29/09/2024 10:04

'Women supporting women' does NOT mean everything has to be 'you go girl! Do what you want, sod everyone else' or 'aw hon, yeah everyone else is wrong' .....
As you've seen most of MN centre dc and their safeguarding and wellbeing over 'women supporting women'.

Hoppinggreen · 29/09/2024 10:05

You can ask for deletion but MNHQ may not as it looks like no site rules have been broken
Also, maybe look up what "trolls" mean, its not people who point out facts you don't like
And nobody has criticised you at all, just your Partner and if you feel he would be horribly offended just don't show him the thread

Original poster
Anon35x · 29/09/2024 10:07

DoreenonTill8 · 29/09/2024 10:04

'Women supporting women' does NOT mean everything has to be 'you go girl! Do what you want, sod everyone else' or 'aw hon, yeah everyone else is wrong' .....
As you've seen most of MN centre dc and their safeguarding and wellbeing over 'women supporting women'.

This post was about a post about me sending the message to the wrong person, and nan ignoring my children because of it, I have never had any safe guarding issues regarding my children nor as my partner we are not the ones In the wrong

OP posts:
HazelLion · 29/09/2024 10:08

This thread is sickening, OP you should ask if it can be deleted.

Original poster
Anon35x · 29/09/2024 10:12

HazelLion · 29/09/2024 10:08

This thread is sickening, OP you should ask if it can be deleted.

I'm actually shocked how people have reacted to this, like I said we hadn't done nothing wrong, it was about a silly mistake and get responses like this

OP posts:
Berlinlover · 29/09/2024 10:12

Overtheatlantic · 29/09/2024 09:42

We were, not we was

Thank you. I wanted to say this too.

NewGreenDuck · 29/09/2024 10:15

If you are sure you did nothing wrong, why are you posting, & why are you so unhappy with the responses?
Things are rarely as simple as you might think. People have given suggestions why MIL is so cross. That's it really.

Hoppinggreen · 29/09/2024 10:18

NewGreenDuck · 29/09/2024 10:15

If you are sure you did nothing wrong, why are you posting, & why are you so unhappy with the responses?
Things are rarely as simple as you might think. People have given suggestions why MIL is so cross. That's it really.

Because we are all women so are supposed to just #bekind and not make suggestions as to why MIL has over reacted if they don't fit with OP's narrative of the situation

Josette77 · 29/09/2024 10:18

Anon35x · 29/09/2024 10:00

Well I'm going to close this thread now because I asked for help and advice not to be criticised, spoke to like crap and have my partner put down over his parenting skills when non of you know the full story! What happened to being kind, women supporting women, and all that bull shit, most of you are little trolls sat there trying to put people down and making them feel shit for no reason! This is what's wrong with the world today and let's hope you are all bringing your children up different not to be so judgmental, bitchy, and to be kind

What's wrong with this world is adults not being proper parents and Dad's creating new families and leaving the first kids behind.

I hope your partner is raising his kids to be responsible and kind. Oh wait, he's not even raising one of them.

Why you would move a strange man in with your oldest daughter so quickly is absurd.

It's been 8 years and the mil has been raising this child and lost her husband. You seem to have no compassion for her, but lots of excuses for your partner.

Women supporting women? You are bitching about your mil who had to raise her granddaughter because you and her son made immature decisions.

And that granddaughter is a future woman. How are you supporting either one of these women?

DoreenonTill8 · 29/09/2024 10:19

HazelLion · 29/09/2024 10:08

This thread is sickening, OP you should ask if it can be deleted.

Why? Because posters aren't lambasting the MIL?

PrimalOwl10 · 29/09/2024 10:20

People just don't like it when men shake their responsibilities and put them on women. In this case your dp prioritised a new relationship over his vulnerable child. He could have moved in with mil to parent her and seen you separately he didn't.

Original poster
Anon35x · 29/09/2024 10:22

We have known each other since we was children we grew up together, not like he was a stranger, his dad and my mom was friends and went to school together also

OP posts:
harrumphh · 29/09/2024 10:23

Lurkingandlearning · 29/09/2024 08:58

I was going to say your partner should tell her that unless she believed your children were found under a gooseberry bush and learning that you have sex has blown her mind, she’s being a total shit about what was a genuine mistake.

But unless he’s got legal visitation rights for his daughter he might not want to upset the delicate daisy further.

Maybe just tell your children she is unwell and doesn’t want them to catch it, or the illness has made her very forgetful. That wouldn’t be a complete lie. She’s certainly forgotten her manners when it comes to them

"she’s being a total shit about what was a genuine mistake."

But what if she's now questioning it? All she has is the OP's word for it that she was planning to send the text to her partner, it could be that she was having an affair and meant to send it to a completely different guy.

Livelaughlurgy · 29/09/2024 10:23

All for saucy messages but don't know if you should be sending them when your partner is having contact with his daughter? I'd imagine it was salt in the wound for MIL and also I'd say she thinks you did it on purpose. Probably shouldn't be sending messages like that if you're busy.

godmum56 · 29/09/2024 10:24

"none of you know the full story"
no shit Sherlock?

Original poster
Anon35x · 29/09/2024 10:27

Livelaughlurgy · 29/09/2024 10:23

All for saucy messages but don't know if you should be sending them when your partner is having contact with his daughter? I'd imagine it was salt in the wound for MIL and also I'd say she thinks you did it on purpose. Probably shouldn't be sending messages like that if you're busy.

Edited

His daughter was in school

OP posts:
Chewbecca · 29/09/2024 10:30

There's always two sides to every story and I think posters are trying to work out what your MIL's perspective on you & your partner might be.

6pence · 29/09/2024 10:30

For whatever reason, mil has decided she doesn’t want contact. All you can do is accept that and fight through the courts to enforce seeing his dd.

Seaoftroubles · 29/09/2024 10:43

OP, l do think you have had a tough time on here. l don't think you've done anything wrong apart from mistakenly sending a text to the wrong person, and we've all done that at some time! Your partner's mother has over reacted out of all proportion and if you have always had a good relationship before it doesn't make sense that she's taken a saucy text intended for her son so badly.
All you and your partner can do is keep trying to contact to her and get to the root of the problem. There is surely more behind her very strong reaction and it is impacting on all of you. Your children must be very confused and l feel so sorry that they are caught in the crossfire.

Longtimemento · 29/09/2024 10:51

@Seaoftroubles if you read the full thread you will see indeed that there is more to it then a saucy text sent to the wrong person! It may have been the straw that breaks the camels back.