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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Do they ever come back? Devastated.

1000 replies

Pleasenotme · 17/09/2024 16:25

Long time lurker, occasional poster, nc'd for this. DH has told me he wants a divorce. I can barely write this as I am so devastated and struggling to keep things together. Been together 35 years, DC. I thought we had everything. Says he hasn't been happy for a while, wants to sell our house, have a new start. I know men rarely leave without having someone in the wings. He was adamant that there was no one, but youngest DD saw him meeting up with a woman not far from the house. It was pure fluke she saw them as her nursing shifts mean she is not normally around at that time and I was in Scotland visiting my DM. DD told me about this only after DH had told her that he is divorcing me as she had been worried about it but didn't want to say anything in case it was innocent. He denies an OW. Of course. I know this woman on a casual basis and have socialised with her as part of a larger group. She is married with two young DC. My DD babysits for her occasionally.

I feel like an explosion has gone off in our lives. I can't believe this is happening. He is like an ice man with me, a stranger. He has said the most cruel things. Our marriage has had the inevitable turmoils and ups and downs but he is my soul mate. I thought we would be together forever. I can't stop crying, I can't work - thankfully my boss has been very kind - I had to ring Samaritans last night as I was so very bleak and was having panic attacks and I didn't want to be here, I just wanted it all to go away. I know that sounds foolish and selfish. He has moved out and is staying with his sister locally. We are not close so there is no point talking to her about it.

I love him so much. I can't imagine life without him, I just can't. Is there anyone on here who has had experience of their DH doing this to them AND coming back? I am grimly aware of the number of men who dump their DWs during the mid years of their lives. I suspect I am clutching at straws but this is like an earthquake. I am totally desperate for this not to be happening. Thank you for reading.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
13
3luckystars · 19/09/2024 12:28

Sorry to the op for posting that as if I am joking, I am not, I think this thread and the others so similar over the last few weeks has us all riled up so much that men are just so awful to hurt their wives like this, and it’s the same story.

3luckystars · 19/09/2024 12:38

Also, Writing might help you if you feel able, just write and write and get it out of your head. Nobody need see it ever, just get it out.
Writing and walking when able. Sending love your way 💝

Calliopespa · 19/09/2024 12:39

poppymango · 19/09/2024 12:13

Would someone be willing to write "the script" out, so we can be prepared for it should the situation arise? And help out friends who may need it and aren't aware? I only heard of it for the first time a year or so ago!

That’s an interesting thought!

I mostly only know the bit about going cold and pointing out her shortcomings but I’d always thought that happened in the lead-up to leaving.

BadgerHill · 19/09/2024 12:51

Such a lot of great support and information for you on this thread - some of it is great information and advice for right now and other bits to go back to and read a little bit further down the line. Its so soon to really take anything in.

These early early days are utterly s**t and I can fully relate to the feelings of not being able to do anything after being blindsided and betrayed like this. Its great that you have the support of your boss and your GP sounds fabulous.

I mostly struggled with symptoms of extreme anxiety (which I had never experienced before) so much so that I ended up in an ambulance thinking I was going to die, this was coupled with constant crying and I lost about 2 stones in weight through stress so I can relate - I'm sending you a big hug, its utter hell to go through.

My advice would be look to breathing and meditation videos and find something that helps when your body and mind start giving you horrible symptoms - hot shower, cold shower, ditch all caffeine for decaf and keep a bottle of water to sip at all times. I also ended up walking mindlessly for miles but I did find that really helped. Also, don't beat yourself up when you can't sleep etc. In terms of food I lived on cooked Birdseye chicken steaks cut into small pieces for quite a while because I couldn't really stomach anything and didn't have the emotional bandwidth or motivation for anything else.

I too struggled to find my anger for a good 6 months which I really felt held me back so its not abnormal if you can't find yours yet - I thought feeling angry would make me feel better but in all honesty its not an emotion I'm used to feeling so when it did arrive that also felt pretty horrible and uncomfortable for a while.

Final bit of advice, find a couple of understanding people who will just sit and listen to you and stick with them, or (like you are doing here) access people online who understand what blindsiding betrayal is like - you would be surprised how many people don't have a clue what it is like, get very uncomfortable talking about it, and offer up paltry words like "move on" "focus on you" "he isn't worth it" "be brave" etc which at the time in the acute stage of all of this are not helpful.

Keep talking and writing here as long as its safe to do so without information going back to where it shouldn't. There are lots of private groups on facebook also which offer lots of support and advice

WeAreWhereWeAre · 19/09/2024 12:51

Calliopespa · 19/09/2024 12:39

That’s an interesting thought!

I mostly only know the bit about going cold and pointing out her shortcomings but I’d always thought that happened in the lead-up to leaving.

There's a link upthread to the midlife crisis script:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/1527705-Midlife-crisis-this-is-the-script

LiveLoveFuckEmAll · 19/09/2024 12:55

@Pleasenotme

Do one task for you today.

Jump in the shower, wash your hair.

Perhaps pop out and get milk.

That's it...

Or start it tomorrow jump up and get it done.

You will feel so much better xx

Then set yourself a task a day, just one small step.

sporkandnoodles · 19/09/2024 12:56

I just wanted to say that you aren't pathetic. You have had the rug well and truly pulled from under your feet. You have had some really great advice on here. You will find your feet again and all those skills especially with your job will come flooding back. Just be kind to yourself, and give yourself time to heal.

FairyMaclary · 19/09/2024 13:13

I haven’t read ever post on this thread.

I recommend you read ‘not just friends’ by Dr Shirley Glass and ‘cheating in a nutshell’ by Mitchell and Mitchell.

Also post on surviving infidelity forum. Here is great but posters on SI (although slower paced) do also have great wisdom and experience in infidelity.

I also recommend a book called ‘love yourself like your life depends on it’ by Kamil Ravikant. It’s very easy to read and he tell you exactly what he did to get himself out of a hole.

Also write down your values. Then live by them everyday. And note in a journal what you did to demonstrate you lived by your values that day.
So ‘I value my friendships’ I met with Barbara today, and note what you did that demonstrated you honored your value. It sounds silly but at the minute you cannot see the wood for the trees. You are traumatised. Unsure of the way forward. So write down your values and live by them. No thinking required. I am kind, I opened the door for a stranger. I helped a man pick up something he dropped in the supermarket. I rang Jill for a catch up. I value being fit, I ensured I walked 10000 steps today and was glad to see the colours of the leaves as autumn arrives.

Cheating causes a form of PTSD. It’s abuse. To lie and sneak and gaslight and put your loved on at risk of a life changing std is abuse.

So Look after yourself. Be gentle with yourself. You are your priority. Emdr therapy if you can afford it.

Any counsellor or friend who mentions unmet needs has no clue. Sack any counsellor who
Mentions unmet needs.

You cannot instill honesty, loyalty and commitment in another human being by sucking their cock on a Monday, washing their football kit on a Wednesday and cooking them a roast on a Sunday. I am faithful for me.

My husband is annoying at times. But I will live with me for the rest of my life and I want to like the lady I look at in the mirror each day. I willingly said vows in front of friends and family. I want my words to mean something to me. I am important to me. My words matter to me. There is nothing he can or can’t do to make me be faithful or unfaithful. I am faithful for ME. He is the collateral damage to my choices.

All the best op. Values and be good to yourself. You are the prize here. You need to work on yourself until you know you are the prize.

FairyMaclary · 19/09/2024 13:17

Also You may find an unexpected source of friendship in all of this. Look for that gem and journal about it. It may not be who you expect.

Drinkdrinkduuurink · 19/09/2024 13:44

RedHotChilliPreppers · 19/09/2024 10:47

Mumsnet is an amazing place when there are no trolls about. I’ve been on here since just after it started, and it has helped me through 2 marriage wobbles (2 x DH midlife crisis), infertility, pregnancy issues, in-law dramas and step mum dramas.

Some of the things I’ve learnt include;

We see posts like the OP’s all the time. The man with the script and the OW. The wife is broken and distraught. Then about a year later they pick up on the thread again, and come back to update us. The woman who comes back is always a different, better person. She usually tells us that she can’t believe she was that wreck looking back on her posts, or diary entries. How the exH is now a total mess who asked to come back, but was told to fuck off back to their hole, so the ex stayed with the OW and is seen around unshaven, grey and miserable with his new set up. The exW is like, I was so sad at the start, but one day I woke up and realised he’d done me a favour. I don’t have as much money, but I’m happy, I’ve got a really close relationship with my DC who don’t want to know him, I feel great, and I’ve met a really nice man/ don’t need a man/ have been on loads of dates with lovely men. When I see him, I feel pity for my exH.

I see this on here all the time. That’s why the long term posters on here know that this time in 6/9/12 months you are going to say you are glad he’s gone.

Secondly, I think we women need to come up with some counter punches for when men deliver The Script to us. Our reaction is always one of shock, dizziness and confusion. This person who we love, and often have DC with has turned on you and is rewriting history. It’s psychological manipulation and bullying. It disarms you.

What I want to see is more women knowing about The Script. That way you know what you are dealing with. Information is power. I’ve sat opposite friends whose DH are cheating and I’ve said, “ah, that’s the script”.

If more of us are aware of it, perhaps we will be more empowered when it is used to try and break us.

I have had DH issues too. The first time was about 20 years ago when my DH came home from a business trip a completely different person. He went to oversee the sale of a business and the Chilean daughter of the owner charmed him. I was 33, no DC and I was broken. MN helped me back on my feet, but there was no talk of The Script back then. About 5 years ago he “didn’t want to be married” again, and I was told I’d let myself go, didn’t keep the house tidy, had nothing in common, if we didn’t have DC we wouldn’t be together……etc. I was broken inside, but I knew that this wasn’t true and it was The Script. Because I knew this, I didn’t stand for it. I printed it off, and sat down with it, and laughingly ticket it off to him;

Let myself go - tick
Don’t keep the house tidy - tick
If we didn’t have kids we wouldn’t be together - tick

Then I said, “let me know when you want to talk again, you haven’t yet covered, “there’s no need to get a solicitor” and “there’s no one else” and “I’ve been unhappy for years”, “also, I’m not stupid, don’t think that in 3 or 6 months time you are going to just pop up with another woman and pretend you’ve just met. I’m not that fucking stupid. I’ll be telling your parents and my DC not to fall for that shit”.

I can’t be certain that my DH has not cheated on me. I do not have a shred of evidence. He is still here. He knows that one more incident and he’s gone, even a message to another woman and I am gone. The second time I was given The Scriot I was much more empowered. I printed it off, and laughed in his face. He whimpered off with his tail between his legs. He went from cocky superman, gods gift to women, to totally outmanoeuvred by the person he was the day before telling that he’s too clever for me.

Edited

Great post. OP I'm sure will have gained alot from the wise women of the forum who have seen all this before.

Hairyesterdaygonetoday · 19/09/2024 13:56

3luckystars · 19/09/2024 12:26

I just thinking someones husband coming in saying ‘I think I might leave..’

and them saying
’DONT BOTHER pretending there is no other woman, don’t LIE, I know men don’t jump without somewhere to land, I know there is someone else and this is NO SURPRISE to me.
I know you are a different person, I was EXPECTING this and I’m going to get the best solicitor and make you PAY for the divorce and get every penny out of you and make you wish you were dead, and if you ever come back begging I will laugh in your face!!!!
I know this script sir!!!’

And him saying ‘I was just going to say that: I might leave the porch light on as our son is still out’

and I think you should come off Mumsnet

Edited

😂

BirthdayRainbow · 19/09/2024 14:09

@fc123 I would love you to be my friend. You sound totally inspiring.

Panama2 · 19/09/2024 14:16

It is truly awful what is happen8 g to you right now. Your world your life has been altered by someone else you haven’t had a hand it it it has been done to you. You will come through this, your life will get better it is still very early days but believe me every day you will get stronger and stronger.

TheaBrandt · 19/09/2024 14:21

What’s so cruel is the unexpected attack on the unsuspecting victim. There you are pootling along in good faith then bam - this grenade is thrown at you by the very person you reasonably assume is on your side. Ultimate betrayal.

mitogoshigg · 19/09/2024 14:23

Hugs, but no this is it.

A familiar tale, with or without an ow. Men at least "wanting something different" in middle age.

I'm the other side, met someone else and far happier

fc123 · 19/09/2024 14:28

BirthdayRainbow · 19/09/2024 14:09

@fc123 I would love you to be my friend. You sound totally inspiring.

Oh thank you 😂. But I'm no different to anyone else who has been through this really.
Climbing out of the pain was the hardest thing I'd ever done yet it's still buried somewhere and one day it should just become a memory of pain.

The poster above who said those that have not experienced it truly don't get it is correct ( just from my personal experience) and I am lucky to have 2 good friends who had and totally understands the mind fuck of being cheated on, being defamed by the ex to justify his actions, lied to, used as a 'wife appliance' and having one's reality altered by the continued lies.

So they never told me I should be 'over it' etc. They just listened and have support.

A great quote from the Mitchell book is below and really summed it up for me:

"A lie is an assumption of power over another. A lie is an assault that attacks not only the dignity of the other person but also their physical and mental well-being.
A lie steals power from the one deceived. It reduces their alternatives.
It causes the betrayed person to act as they never would have acted had they known the truth.
A liar deliberately feeds inaccurate information, and when there are children, the lies reverberate in their lives as well.".

I divorced him for the above reasons not because he was caught up in a fantasy limerance like affair (of 18 months long).
And it's why I didn't 'fight' for him or take him back when the limerance had faded and the AP just became another type of 'wife' to him.

And is my life better?
In some ways absolutely (emotionally, sexually and I love living solo now)
In some ways it's no different (what I do say to day, socially, relationships with my children /grandchildren)
And the things I miss are the financial benefits we had as a couple and maybe some big family get togethers ( always organised by me!) and the 'safety' of being in a couple but...

I no longer miss him in my life. And I would say it took a couple of years to get to that point.

Frenchcountryhomes · 19/09/2024 14:53

I wish I’d been on Mumsnet when this happened to me. It was the worst time in my life and I had no support from anyone. Even my in laws took his side and his father offered to pay to put him in a flat!! Such wise advice. Aren’t men bloody fools?!

Babybirdmum · 19/09/2024 14:54

forevernumb · 19/09/2024 09:59

Did you get your ex back by doing all this stuff ?
I have to say much of this is very shallow - you think men stray because of how their wife looks?
Maybe you feel this way because your mother tolerated this?

No I am happily married to someone else - the point I was making was that’s how I got through the initial part of the shock - I distracted myself and used a goal of getting him back to motivate me. It also helped stop me from becoming his stalker! Haha! But after the time apart I realised I was better off without him, he didn’t cheat, it ended because we were just incompatible and he said he didn’t love me out of the blue, so slightly different circumstances.
I am sure my parents situation has affected me it has made me less trusting and I think that men can be more shallow which is why the “cliche” of them leaving you for a younger sexier woman exists (not saying it lasts though). Not saying all men will leave because they don’t find you attractive I’m sure there are some really decent ones out there but how are we supposed to know which is which? In OP’s case she had a loyal faithful kind caring husband for 35 years- she would never expect him to be a shallow younger woman chaser. But yet he is! It’s shocking!

zeibesaffron · 19/09/2024 14:54

I am so sorry this is happening to you, you sound lovely.

Please recognise that his life is not worth more than yours, and whilst it will be the most god awful pain right now- it will pass, it will get less, maybe not this week or next - but it will.

I wouldn’t waste your precious annual
leave I would call the GP today and say yes please to a sick note - and don’t read the info on the anti -d’s (they have to put every side effect on there that anyone, anywhere has ever had whether it was related to the drug or not!) Take one and see how it goes, if no side effects take another tomorrow- just be in control of how it makes you feel and call the GP if there are issues. Also use the crisis team/ samaritans etc if things get too much.

Use all your friends and family, don’t be afraid to ask for support, to ask for a hug, to ask for someone to sit with you. You are worthy of this help this pain has not been caused by you its been caused by your complete dick of a H. I have read all the wonderful things you have said about him - but really? do nice, kind, thoughtful men have OW? No, they don’t- they find ways to make things work? they communicate and they try? He has done none of these things.

You on the other hand are kind, thoughtful, a good mum, fab at her job, articulate and have tried 100% to keep their relationship alive! He will be trying to re-write your life so he can justify the OW to you and the family - fundamentally it’s all bullshit, do not believe it or him. This is all on him.

My exh gave me a list when we split up, one of the ridiculous things he said was I once made a casserole not from scratch! (I had just used a stock cube) I have to say at the time I was doing the pick me dance, but this made me stop and I just laughed! I didn’t know it was a reason to end a marriage. Don’t though let him rewrite whats important to you.

In the next few days you will need to take some steps- he is already ahead of you, his behaviour will get worse and colder - prepare yourself for this. But you will need to get advice, good advice, do not let him rush you (he caused this not you remember this). Do not make any decisions without advice and your friends/ family being around you. I am afraid I don’t think at this time he is thinking about anyone else apart from himself- so every day take a small step - today wash your hair, tomorrow try having something to eat. Take your time cry, shout so whatever is best for you right now. Your emotions are heightened and must feel out of control- but I promise you, you will be okay.

TheShellBeach · 19/09/2024 14:55

Frenchcountryhomes · 19/09/2024 14:53

I wish I’d been on Mumsnet when this happened to me. It was the worst time in my life and I had no support from anyone. Even my in laws took his side and his father offered to pay to put him in a flat!! Such wise advice. Aren’t men bloody fools?!

I'm sorry that happened to you.
I imagine he lied to his parents and told them what an awful wife you'd been to him.

Frenchcountryhomes · 19/09/2024 14:57

I actually think most men would have their head turned by a woman much younger , up for lots of hot sex who makes them feel like Gods Gift. It’s a matter of opportunity for many, sadly. I never ever thought my OH would do what he did. It came totally out of the blue and blindsided me. The other woman used our children to worm her way in , in the same way as in the OP’s situation. Completely calculating.

Frenchcountryhomes · 19/09/2024 15:00

TheShellBeach · 19/09/2024 14:55

I'm sorry that happened to you.
I imagine he lied to his parents and told them what an awful wife you'd been to him.

I think they really considered their children’s partners not to be an actual part of the family. It really hurt to realise this. I had three young children at the time and it happened straight after Xmas. Sorry, this is not about me, but I’m struck by how common a tale this is and the absolute gut wrenching pain of it.

BadgerHill · 19/09/2024 15:17

zeibesaffron · 19/09/2024 14:54

I am so sorry this is happening to you, you sound lovely.

Please recognise that his life is not worth more than yours, and whilst it will be the most god awful pain right now- it will pass, it will get less, maybe not this week or next - but it will.

I wouldn’t waste your precious annual
leave I would call the GP today and say yes please to a sick note - and don’t read the info on the anti -d’s (they have to put every side effect on there that anyone, anywhere has ever had whether it was related to the drug or not!) Take one and see how it goes, if no side effects take another tomorrow- just be in control of how it makes you feel and call the GP if there are issues. Also use the crisis team/ samaritans etc if things get too much.

Use all your friends and family, don’t be afraid to ask for support, to ask for a hug, to ask for someone to sit with you. You are worthy of this help this pain has not been caused by you its been caused by your complete dick of a H. I have read all the wonderful things you have said about him - but really? do nice, kind, thoughtful men have OW? No, they don’t- they find ways to make things work? they communicate and they try? He has done none of these things.

You on the other hand are kind, thoughtful, a good mum, fab at her job, articulate and have tried 100% to keep their relationship alive! He will be trying to re-write your life so he can justify the OW to you and the family - fundamentally it’s all bullshit, do not believe it or him. This is all on him.

My exh gave me a list when we split up, one of the ridiculous things he said was I once made a casserole not from scratch! (I had just used a stock cube) I have to say at the time I was doing the pick me dance, but this made me stop and I just laughed! I didn’t know it was a reason to end a marriage. Don’t though let him rewrite whats important to you.

In the next few days you will need to take some steps- he is already ahead of you, his behaviour will get worse and colder - prepare yourself for this. But you will need to get advice, good advice, do not let him rush you (he caused this not you remember this). Do not make any decisions without advice and your friends/ family being around you. I am afraid I don’t think at this time he is thinking about anyone else apart from himself- so every day take a small step - today wash your hair, tomorrow try having something to eat. Take your time cry, shout so whatever is best for you right now. Your emotions are heightened and must feel out of control- but I promise you, you will be okay.

My situation is a bit different given I wasn't married and don't have children (probably won't get the chance now 😪) so I am lucky to have dodged a bullet in that sense compared to the situation many are in but 'the script' remains the same.......

Honestly some of the 'reasons' they come out with are totally non-sensical and occasionally hilarious.

I was told:

"We have absolutely nothing in common" - news to me and incorrect?

"You're cold and have no warmth" - He'd always told me he loved my sunny demeanor and chilled personality?

"This relationship is absolutely static and not going anywhere" - we were literally in the process of leaving our rented apartment to purchase a house and planning to get married and start a family the next year?

"You don't integrate with my family" - Horseshit. I absolutely loved his family. He didn't take me to his sisters 40th birthday meal with them all because she got divorced 5 years ago and it would make her 'sad' that she's single.

"You like loud pubs, I don't" - complete bollocks???

oh and...."You hold your knife and fork wrong" - Yep. Really!!

All this was topped off with "I need to find a mother and a wife"......... as if by magic a handful of months later, 18 year younger botox betty turns up and its apparently "Twu Luv" being plastered all over the instagram. She posts most of it for my benefit I'm sure. I'm now healed enough to find it hilarious a 45 year old man hangs out with a load of young adults in their mid 20's looking like the pervy old uncle.

LivelyMintViper · 19/09/2024 15:20

I know the last thing you feel like doing is going out. But really you will be surprised how much better you will feel if you join the gym get your hair done get an appointment with a beautician. NOT as a means to try and get that waste of space back. But because it is a way of underlining a new start for you. Spring clean move the furniture around maybe get a dog. The one who is left behind always suffers more. Because everything that is about you triggers memories whereas he is not used to seeing you in the places he is in. Change the scenery and change the routine. Even better if you can get a friend or family member to come with you. He is a bloody fool who has no idea what he has thrown away. But the same karma that will catch up with him and drag him down will raise you up. We are all cheering you on . You are clearly a lovely and intelligent woman. Hang in there

Arraminta · 19/09/2024 15:34

Please remember OP that truly good, decent, wonderful husbands do not have affairs. They just don't. If they're genuine, real men with honour and integrity they recognise if the marriage isn't fulfilling them anymore. They talk to their wife about it and they try their hardest to make it work just like they promised to do in their wedding vows.

If it can't be saved then they still behave with dignity and treat their wife with respect during the separation and divorce. Then and only then do they look around for a new partner. That is what real men do.

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