I am sexually bored/ her low libido?

[DoctorLondon]

I cannot put my finger on it. I usually would be put off by someone who has had a lot of sexual partners but in our 30s/40s, I looked past it as I assume we usually are past that phase by this age(I did).

Back story: My partner(f37) has had what I later found to be a high number of sexual partners, she cheated on all the relationships for what she said was boredom, at times with married people. she did not see anything wrong with it until her 30s and never managed to hold onto a relationship past a year until me.

Issue: We live together, planning a wedding and 1 child in. Sex decreased drastically 5 months in and 1 child later, it's even worse(twice a month) and when it happens I feel like it's done to please me only. I am now doing all in my power to pleasure myself than to go elsewhere because I feel committed, especially with a child in the picture.

I have talked about this issue and How i am unhappy and this always results in sex being "given to me ", again, I say so as it feels like it's only being done to shut me up or keep me around and moan-free. She has given low drive as an issue for her but we have only been together for 2 years.

Question: From this, would you say she is bored as she always did in other relationships? what would you do in my case?

Sexual connection is a big part for me because I have a high drive and lack off it makes me feel distant and even more so, lately I feel like I am unattractive to her(I am no Brad pitt but I am not bad either to be honest and I have always been confident until now, in 40 years)

What you're saying doesn't make sense. You say your partner has had a lot of lovers but a low libido.

If she had a healthy sex life before you met then she didn't have a low libido.

She doesn't want to have sex with you so stop pestering her. She's giving you duty sex which is crap for both of you.

I would accept celibacy or finish the relationship.

“I am now doing all in my power to pleasure myself than to go elsewhere”

Wow. Give this guy a medal 🥇

Let me guess. From your MRA rhetoric, you have left your partner to do all the childcare, housework, shopping, cooking, family admin and organising and she is thoroughly knackered.

And you mope around sulking and pestering for attention. That’s when you aren’t ‘pleasuring yourself’ of course.

No, no ideas why she’s fed up here.

How old is the baby?

You’re a man which means you’ll get no support in general on here.

If the ‘almost’ same post was written from a female perspective, these ‘helpful’ posters would be falling over themselves to get in there first!

Because I’m here to be part of a community with other women. Not to be an agony aunt to a load of blokes who come on to whinge about their wives to feel validated.

It pisses me off. Can’t we just have one bloody thing.

I wonder what the op wants from this thread 🤔

You’ve stated your problem in the first sentence. “I can’t put my finger on it.”
learn what pleases her and stop focusing solely on yourself.

Lots of men would be very happy to be intimate with their wives as much as twice a month!

If you have a young baby then it is very common to have a low libido. Especially if she is sleep deprived and doing all the childcare, housework etc (I know you haven't said this but this is so often the case where women aren't into sex anymore). I wouldn't automatically assume she is bored as before but maybe SHE needs some nurturing, not sexually, but to feel supported, valued, loved. Not pestered constantly for sex, there's nothing that's more of a turn off than that when you're exhausted.

@Storytimetime so scroll past this one and go to one of the 100s of threads which were started by women. That's like me saying - this is mums net - I come here to communicate with other mothers so women without children should piss off. Not very nice is it?

Another one. 🙄

Where are all these bloody men coming from?

Every day there's a new one or two or three moaning about their partner and expecting us to provide solutions.

I can relate to what you're saying OP. I'm in the same situation but no kids. Listening to everyone on here, they think it's nothing to just move on and find another but it's not that easy when you genuinely love them. It shouldn't be unreasonable to want more from the one we've chosen, that should be seen as a good thing.

I know right.
He's wanking.... not all hero's wear capes.

I know right.
He's wanking.... not all hero's wear capes.

🤣

Where are all these dickhead men coming from?

MN is full of the twats just lately.

You men and your "high drives". Have you thought about taking bromide.

I wish these men would piss off and I don't have to be nice.

The fact that you are put off or care about her sexual past is a red flag. Why does that matter?

When was the last time to took her on a date? Sorted a babysitter and booked dinner or a weekend away. Made her breakfast in bed? How much are you contributing to the upkeep of the house and how much childcare are you doing? The answer to those questions could be the key to solving your issue.

Maybe you're shit in bed and shes bored of pretending she enjoys it.
She obviously enjoyed it in the past coz by your own admission she had a lot of sex before you.
So if you put 2 and 2 together, you're the problem/difference.

HTH

You've only been together 2 years, and you've already got a baby and planning a wedding? No wonder she's not interested!