I am sexually bored/ her low libido?

[DoctorLondon]

I cannot put my finger on it. I usually would be put off by someone who has had a lot of sexual partners but in our 30s/40s, I looked past it as I assume we usually are past that phase by this age(I did).

Back story: My partner(f37) has had what I later found to be a high number of sexual partners, she cheated on all the relationships for what she said was boredom, at times with married people. she did not see anything wrong with it until her 30s and never managed to hold onto a relationship past a year until me.

Issue: We live together, planning a wedding and 1 child in. Sex decreased drastically 5 months in and 1 child later, it's even worse(twice a month) and when it happens I feel like it's done to please me only. I am now doing all in my power to pleasure myself than to go elsewhere because I feel committed, especially with a child in the picture.

I have talked about this issue and How i am unhappy and this always results in sex being "given to me ", again, I say so as it feels like it's only being done to shut me up or keep me around and moan-free. She has given low drive as an issue for her but we have only been together for 2 years.

Question: From this, would you say she is bored as she always did in other relationships? what would you do in my case?

Sexual connection is a big part for me because I have a high drive and lack off it makes me feel distant and even more so, lately I feel like I am unattractive to her(I am no Brad pitt but I am not bad either to be honest and I have always been confident until now, in 40 years)

@DoctorLondon, you need to listen to this: zawn.substack.com/p/episode-5-the-epidemic-of-sexual

Please tell me you’re not an actual doctor?

If she always had a high sex drive before you met and she doesn’t now, what are you doing to make her want sex with you?

I didn’t really want it often with my XH as he wasn’t affectionate, did little around the house and made me feel like a skivvy, occasionally taking the piss out of me too.

When we divorced j discovered that I did actually love sex, enough to have a FWB when not in a relationship, as long as the man made me feel desired and knew what he was doing.

Food for thought maybe.

You can also fuck off back to Reddit

What on earth? Why is some weird poster accusing her of being a prostitute?

Maybe it’s you.
Maybe you just don’t turn her on any more.
Maybe you turn her right TF off.

If this is real you are so ignorant, arrogant and entitled. Just wank off merrily to your rightful land of self pleasure.

I usually would be put off by someone who has had a lot of sexual partners but in our 30s/40s, I looked past it

I am now doing all in my power to pleasure myself than to go elsewhere because I feel committed, especially with a child in the picture.

How very magnanimous of this fucking guy. Thunderous applause for this fucking guy.

You have a dc under 2.
Imo sex twice a month is good in those circumstances.
She may be bored, she’s definitely tired.

Focus on being a good father.

Instead of raising your dissatisfaction again, ask what she needs from you. Not just sexually but what you can do to make her feel loved, give her a break, support her better etc. You want to feel wanted, which is natural, but you’re focusing only on one aspect of life. With a young child she likely has more pressing needs than sex.

Do you still get on well? Do you get time together both as a family and as a couple to do fun things?

The fact she’s cheated multiple times in the past is not great and I can see why that would make you insecure.

You have a child under 2. Until 2 years postpartum a woman has not recovered from growing and birthing a child. If breastfeeding, oestrogen reduce libido. And frankly she's probably knackered. She deserves better.

I suspect that it’s to do with having gestated birthed and raised a baby. It is a huge change for the mother and a good partner would understand that, not imply that her past sexual experience is at fault.

You have a child under 2, children are needy, it's exhausting, sex was not a priority for me at this stage, sleep was. Yet, she finds the energy to have sex with you but it's still not enough as she isn't putting her all into it. Are you pulling your weight at home?

I have a child under two and am breastfeeding. I am totally exhausted. If my DH wrote a message like yours I’d be devastated, and also livid! She’s TIRED. Your whining at her is NOT going to help. The best thing you could be doing right now is stepping up in the parenting department and taking your child out for the day while she watches tv. Do that several weekends in a row, then ask how she’s feeling. It is not transactional, she needs to know you’re there for her.

You wouldn't have written that if this was a woman posting about a man 😂

Do not marry her.

If a woman was posting about a bloke being a serial cheat, she wouldn't be asked if she's taken her bloke on a date. The double standards on here 😂😂😂

@WeakAsIAm What a shitty reply based on what?

What’s with all the shitty sexist replies.

Op it’s not usually as bad as this, men do post on this board. You seem to have attracted all the angry arseholes sorry.

Perhaps it’s his shitty sexist attitude to his wife’s previous partners? And all the wanking he does while she gets on with looking after DC?

🤣🤣🤣

You’ve got a small baby/toddler presumably. Twice a month sounds loads in that situation? You don’t sound like a very nice guy. Lots of misogyny in that post. Do you even like your partner?

When did the Reddit red pillers/Tate disciples discover this website? There have been tons of them recently posting this nonsense

You’ve been together 2 years, had 5 months of NRE sex (pretty good going, TBH) and in that time, she’s spent 9 months pregnant and now has what must still be a pretty young baby, who may not be sleeping through yet.

Cannot imagine why her libido might be lower at the moment. It’s a puzzler.

Yes there are. But some have a certain posting style and those ones have always been handed their arse.

Magnanimous wanking might be a first though.