Just realised this about DH. is this normal?

[Cactustoy]

I've always looked very young for my age but as I'm approaching 50 I can see it's starting to catch up with me!

I'm 7 years younger than my DH.
I've noticed that he criticises women on the TV (never men) about their looks, weight etc..
Just last night ' who's that chunky old thing'
This morning ' God she's looking old' - said about suzanna reid, who BTW looks fantastic!

He's not someone who thinks before he speaks but I've realised lately that it's made me more aware and scared of the aging process. I'm even considering botox!
I put a new top on the other day and he said something like ' that's nice, it makes you look younger'.
Am I being too sensitive? Do other DHs do this? Do they just think it and not say it?

Sadly you are right. And add porn to the mix and we have an explosive cocktail

Yes! I've noticed that the men who have the most to say about women's bodies are usually the ones who aren't the most attractive specimens themselves.

I'm sorry but is this for real?

Your husband is an arsehole and yet you're the one who needs to change?

My husband doesn't criticise anyone's looks. He's not a horrible twat.

this is the Everyday Sexism that grinds us all down but when we call it out we are told off for overreacting to the small stuff.

So. In your shoes, OP, i'd just say "stop the sexist shite" every time. And then start to criticise men who look a bit like your DH. For looking old, saggy, tired, worn out, past their best, why do i have to have them on my tv...

It the comments from my DH that are reinforcing the view that men find middle aged women unattractive.

Not all men...certainly your DH's comments imply he finds middle aged women unattractive - so both ageist, and sexist. None of the men I know have ever made comments like this and my MIL got together with her partner (7 years younger than her!) in her late 50s so clearly he thought she was pretty foxy.

BTW the answer to ageing is building muscle. Not anti ageing products- thats just cosmetic.

Your problem is not answering back. Next time your DH sees an advert about Teena Ladies and makes that comment, answer back with a smile.

"Well darling, it's what happens to most of us who gave birth as we age. Don't worry, as you get old, you'll sit down on the toilet because you'll piss all over the floor if you don't".

You need to put a stop to his misogynistic comments. The only way to do it is by telling him a few truths.

He cant be, he lacks the depth & warmth.

Is your husband an exceptionally good looking man? An example to us all of keeping fit & healthy?

Will Botox help you with your critical thinking skills? If so, go for it.

Like middle aged men are attractive? Most men I see have worn v badly. But most women have the good grace not to remark on it.
Your DH needs to learn some grace.

I think youbshould tell him.

i had this with a guy I dated recently. He would make comments about overweight women. I am nowhere near overweight but then he would make a comment that Scarlett Johansson and Sofia Vergara who he considers fat. And this is my body type btw….which made me wonder what is he doing with me. I never got to tell him as we split but it would be sth I would tell him If we continued.

when anyone says to me something like "i like your new hairstyle, it makes you look younger"

i point out that aging is a privilege we don't all have. And that I'm perfectly happy not to look 25 or 36 or whatever at my age. It implies that youth is always better. And that's shite.

a better compliment is just "your new hairstyle suits you/looks really nice" etc etc. Nothing to do with weight or age or any of the other tripe people come out with.

He is either insecure about his own ageing, generally unhappy or just a dick.

I assume he himself looks like George Clooney in his prime with the physique of an Olympic swimmer and all his own teeth and hair??

I’d be tempted to start commenting on men’s flaws and announce no one wants to hear about Viagra or prostate issues.

No. That's not okay. It does sometimes seem that men don't realise that they don't look so great anymore, while being very critical of women who are invariably aging much better than them.

Why not start with your own comments on how middle aged men you see are ageing?

In answer to your first question- no my DH would never be so rude about women but he’s actually really harsh about fat, unhealthy middle aged men. I think because he works hard to be fit and heathy himself. I still think he’s a bit harsh though. If I could hold my tongue in order to avoid an argument, every time DH was rude about a woman I would comment on it. Eg ‘I find it interesting that you makes these comments about women but never about men. Why do you think that is?’ Also add in that you’re both going to age and there’s no getting away from it. It smells like fear of his own aging and death tbh

Oh god I bet he’s the kind of bloke who finds periods “gross”

How attractive. Ever thought of trading him in for a younger model OP??

Please say you’re at least going to start pulling him up on it every time. Love some of the Pp ideas.

Well you’re getting on a bit yourself, Dave.
Why are you being so pathetic? People age, who cares.
Why are you only commenting on the female ones? Men age too.

Just keep pushing back.

I had Botox in my frownlines between my eyebrows to help with migraines. No-one noticed I had it done :-). Does help with migraines though. Haven't told anyone as i didn't do it to look better.

"I'll always be younger than you darling"

I would find that behaviour from him deeply unattractive

He sounds like a knob

Botox is awsome 😃

but you need a good doctor who uses good medicine and knows what quantity to use.

Your husband sounds like a sexist prick. I suppose he looks like Brad Pitt?

Good God, the standard for men is fucking low, isn’t it? How in the hell could you stand to live with, and presumably be intimate with, such a horrible misogynist?! It’s so degrading. I’m depressed.

I really don’t like this. My DP makes the odd comment about overweight women (he himself is very overweight) I suspect he thinks women have more obligation to try to remain attractive. I am slender so it’s not an issue for me but I think it’s a really deplorable trait of his and I pull him up if he says anything about others weigh or looks