Tinder date did not go well 🫣

[BeRoseScroller]

After almost 3 weeks of texting non stop talking daily etc etc I finally met up with my tinder date. We met up and went back to his and in his words he freaked out. Said this happened with a girl he met last year and he just left. He’s been texting me since and keeps saying it’s not me it’s him he gets paranoid about things etc. I know he’s had some stuff go on the past couple of years and he’s an overthinker but he couldn’t get me out of there quick enough. He was like nice to meet you anyway even though Im really random. Then starts texting me at 1am in the morning saying he’s feeling naughty. Confused is an understatement. Maybe I should just stop communication with him 🤷‍♀️

Stop now. This person is messing you around. It will not improve. You deserve better.

Thanks. I’ve texted him asking if he wants to meet up for a coffee no pressure for anything else. His usual thing is to read my texts but not reply so think I should just leave this one

You really do not need this man, Berose.

He has a lot of baggage and problems but don't make them yours. Move on. Block him.

Talking and texting does not prepare anyone much for meeting, people are so different in the flesh. I hate the current trend of online dating, t's awkward and potentially dangerous; iif I was on the circuit I would rather do without if I couldn't meet someone in real life. However that's me, people are free to do as they please.

Better luck next time.

Can no one say naughty any more please

Agreed.

He doesn't reply? Let me guess, he does if you're sexting.

Why on earth would you offer to see him again?

Life is waaaay too short for this shit. He clearly has ‘issues’, so unless you want to hone your amateur psychology skills, block and move on op.

Yeah, I get a lot like this - probably about 60 per cent. When I call them out on their tragic ways, I get a reply along the lines of, "Well, we're both adults, we know we want this."
"No, I don't want to wank talk with some OLD rando that I've been texting for five minutes. You don't get to decide for me. GTFOOH".
Blocked

That's a good way to end it. You've been nice and he's not replied.

Just block the guy. Why do you feel so responsible for him and his feelings?

For your own sake, cut off all contact now. If he's this weird at the start - when typically people present the best of themselves to a potential new partner - imagine how much weirder he could be, when it's six month down the line and you've invested so much more of your time? As a previous poster said, you're worth so much more. Let him head off and waste someone else's time.

That's a good way to end it. You've been nice and he's not replied

The problem is it’s likely not ended. When he feels like it he will text her and it will start up again.

OP should take control of this situation and block him. Whether she wants to send a final message before doing so is fine but either way he needs to not have such easy access to her after today.

Looks like there might be more to this one than meets the eye if he doesnt answer texts. Plenty of fish in the sea & all that. You sound like a person who is looking for a genuine relationship which is lovely. You can make it obvious your not just in it for sex on the first date without sounding prudish or not up for it eventually. That way you will meet a potential partner who has the same outlook. I wouldn't take chances by going back to their place without at least a few dates first. It's also telling them you are possibly up for taking it further on a first meeting which is not what you are after. Good luck OP 😁

He’s a head fuck and his actions are causing you to over-analyse everything. After Date One. Time to throw this one back. Do you really have time in your life for:
But maybe he…
Did he really mean…
Why did he…
What does it really mean when he…
But one time he said..
Just. No.

At 40 years of age, in therapy or not and ADHD or not, he needs to sort his life out. Without you

I’d certainly go right off anyone saying they wanted to be ‘naughty’.

Mind you I’d feel the same about any new date suggesting (in such words) that I go back to his for a shag.

I know. He couldn’t really explain why he freaked out when I asked, said it had happened before with a girl he went to at hers last year and he just left. 🤷‍♀️

That's when you know you need to end it.

This in spades.

He’s not for you, block and move on. Why would you even still be interested after that. He’s got issues, there would definitely be trouble ahead if you dated him, don’t do it!

Well obviously yes, she should now block knowing he has read it and not replied. But there is also some responsibility on OP if she doesn't block to not get sucked in to messaging him.

I stopped using online dating last year as I got so sick of men (of a variety of ages) who it turned out just loved all the texting and the fantasy of it all, but that couldn't deal with the reality of actually meeting up. Such a waste of time, even if you only want a bit of (real life) fun

Another red flag. Bin him.

Unless you want to be a on demand virtual girlfriend I would walk away from this, he can't handle one night in real life let alone building a relationship.

All the excuses you keep making in his favour suggests you want to be told carry on texting him. So if that's what you want go for it, you don't heed permission from anyone.