Tinder date did not go well 🫣

[BeRoseScroller]

After almost 3 weeks of texting non stop talking daily etc etc I finally met up with my tinder date. We met up and went back to his and in his words he freaked out. Said this happened with a girl he met last year and he just left. He’s been texting me since and keeps saying it’s not me it’s him he gets paranoid about things etc. I know he’s had some stuff go on the past couple of years and he’s an overthinker but he couldn’t get me out of there quick enough. He was like nice to meet you anyway even though Im really random. Then starts texting me at 1am in the morning saying he’s feeling naughty. Confused is an understatement. Maybe I should just stop communication with him 🤷‍♀️

Stop wasting your life with perverts you meet online. If you want to do online dating, just meet for a quick coffee date to vet them before embarking on a massive weeks long messaging charade.

Yeah. I text him saying look I take it you don’t want to meet up again - his reply - no it’s not that it’s just that I freaked out 🤷‍♀️🙄

Is he religious?

I don’t think he is religious no

The fact he says a lot would worry me

Tell him to get therapy and move on.

He is not your problem to fix.

But freaked out at what? If a 40 year old man can’t handle a simple coffee and a chat for a couple of hours is this really some you want (or that he is even able?!) to pursue?

Yep. Honest to god is it so hard to find a guy who has his stuff together at 40 and wants commitment and to be naughty 🤷‍♀️🙄

Maybe I should just stop communication with him 🤷‍♀️

Do you really have to ask that? Are you looking a partner/fling or are you looking to be someone’s support worker?

BTW - I really can’t imagine going back to someone’s house the first time I met them in person especially as he doesn’t sound£ the most stable.

It doesn’t explain things.

Have some dignity and stop this nonsense.

Beach ride Im not being immature. Just this one has me really puzzled

Me too. A 40 year old man saying he wants to be naughty uuggh 🤢

3 weeks of texting without meeting? That's a lot!

Also going back to his house, after the first date, and after building up expectations for 3 weeks, is a lot of pressure.

I would back down. If you like him, try to build the relationship without going straight to the sex part.

It sounds like going back to his was too much of a big step on a First date.

Might be better to back off and leave him to workout his own issues.

Did you ask him why that was though?

Does he expect you to keep returning and subject yourself to a Russian roulette of will he/ won’t he?

Does he even know what triggered him?

If not, or he’s not prepared to say - run a mile. Unless you’re bored and enjoy the drama.

Don’t bother with him, just end it now. He clearly has big issues, either around confidence or intimacy or dating in general. He’s told you he’s done this before, it’s an ongoing issue and the first months of dating are when you present your best self. Do you really want a man who randomly “freaks out” during a relationship? He doesn’t sound like he has his stuff together at all

I meant find someone who wants to be in a committed relationship with me and be naughty within the relationship. No need to tell me to grow up.

Run away fast OP, these guys get more complicated with time not less. Take a step back from the situation, you've known him 5 mins, he's a non starter. Back to the drawing board, he'll be a distant memory in a fortnight and you'll be dating stable people. This man should NOT be dating, he needs to get his shit together

Sorry @BeRoseScroller , he 'freaked out?' How?

As a grown ass woman, you don't need this nonsense in your life.

Maybe I should just stop communication with him

You think?

Of course you fucking should. It's alarming you even need to ask.

Just leave him to concentrate on his own stuff, he is not in a position to date. It is kinder to both of you to step away from this one.

Holy crap, stop saying naughty. It's really inappropriate - and frankly a bit odd - terminology for the healthy sex that is supposed to happen between to consenting adults in a relationship.

This. It's making me feel a bit queasy 😂