Tinder date did not go well 🫣

[BeRoseScroller]

After almost 3 weeks of texting non stop talking daily etc etc I finally met up with my tinder date. We met up and went back to his and in his words he freaked out. Said this happened with a girl he met last year and he just left. He’s been texting me since and keeps saying it’s not me it’s him he gets paranoid about things etc. I know he’s had some stuff go on the past couple of years and he’s an overthinker but he couldn’t get me out of there quick enough. He was like nice to meet you anyway even though Im really random. Then starts texting me at 1am in the morning saying he’s feeling naughty. Confused is an understatement. Maybe I should just stop communication with him 🤷‍♀️

I bet he does. He will come back with some sob story how he wasn't ready but he is now blah blah etc.

You think?

I guess you’re trying to raise her hopes, as you know she desperately wants this. I’m not sure if it’s about being cruel or not thinking.

Agree with this. OP with the best will intended, you’re looking for romance and long term love but the way you’re going about it is just all wrong and you’re coming across as being pretty desperate with zero standards.

I get that you’ve been single for a while but sexting, sending photos and videos to a stranger then going back to his for sex on the first meeting then continuing to chase him after he knocked you back really won’t make a man who isn’t interested fall in love with you.

Please learn from this. Keep online chats neutral and conversational and arrange to meet for a drink or a coffee - and both go home separately. If you meet someone who’s right for you, you won’t need the cheap thrills. Have respect for yourself and put boundaries in place - and stick to them.

This one was a disaster but it’s a lesson learned.

There's a dating thread on here I’ve seen. Maybe have a look at that and chat to other ladies using OLD to share their experiences.

Good luck - throw this one back and move forward

Far from it. I think he is a time waster with serious issues. I'm concerned that if he does message her again (which he probably will because no one else will put up with it) she needs to block him to not allow him anymore heads pace.

Edit - in response to building OPs hopes up.

Also all this , want to make sure you haven't an STI crap ,
by asking how many people you've slept with .
It doesn't matter how many people you've slept with , you could have slept with one other , 100 or 1000 , it matters if they have an sti , it's not a numbers game .
If a couple are having sex for the first time and they've both only gone with one other person , they could pass it to the other if infected their first time .
Likewise if both partners numbers are high , you can keep going numbers wise if still meeting others unaffected.

Why tf are you still messaging him?
get some standards!

Im not anymore. I’ve given up with the whole thing - there’s no point!

He’s clearly not interested, so no he’s not coming back.

Yeah if you think so, he's already trampled on her boundaries, the thread is 17 pages long of OP wavering about him. Not many people would tolerate what she has already, there's every chance he will be back in her inbox when he realises that OP has been more receptive than the majority of people would be.
Block him and don't allow him to even try.

Even if he was interested but just very shy he could have easily text back so that speaks for itself ladies. No point in him looking at my WhatsApp statuses but not reading any messages. I’ve stopped sending them now anyway.

How do you know he’s looking at your status. You can’t tell that?

Yeah you can as on WhatsApp it tells you how many people have viewed it.

Really? How do you do that?

Every time I try it it just opens my camera up…

Major ick

Oh I see, you have to share your status with everyone and then it says who viewed it when received.

See why blocking him is the best option here.

FFS you are still engaging with him and this drama by sending WhatsApp statuses?!

You're in your 40s, this is cringeworthy!!

I haven’t been. I haven’t messaged him again and I don’t intend to.

But you're looking to see if he has looked at your status and read your messages.
What are you going to do if he messages you, apologising and trying to get you to engage with him?

The bad ones always come back. Or at least that’s my OLD experiences

Given this guy pushed for vids and images quickly/without meeting, it’s my guess that he does this regularly. (Could wrong obvs) It’s not uncommon for guys on apps to ONLY be looking for vids and pics

When the urge strikes him again, there’s every chance he’ll be back looking for more of the same

By "engaging with" I mean trying to get his attention by posting WhatsApp statuses (what are you even writing there?!) checking to see if he's seen them and obsessing over him. You have kept this thread going for days despite him not replying to you.

Can you honestly not see how much headspace you are giving him?!

But you’re still wasting energy giving him head space that he’s not worth.

This is a stranger who seemingly only wants to get his rocks off virtually - block him and stop letting him occupy your every waking hour.

You’re posting on this and you’re not in any way involved. You’re giving his a lot of headspace.

Give the OP a break? Dating can be tough.