Sleeping with someone on the first date

[LegalAlienated]

Has this ever developed into a relationship?
I’ve never done this myself, and I consider it ‘cheap’ or desperate to try to get a man. Am I right or is it a thing?
(Debate ongoing between my friend and I.)

I never had before, and then the sexual chemistry was so strong I decided to go with it. 10 years later, we're still having great sex and are in a very happy and loving relationship.

My husband was a ONS! Ten years and counting...

I waited two weeks (so probably about 6 dates) before sleeping with my ex-husband. Had 10 years of unfulfilling sex before divorcing a few years ago.
Slept with current partner on first date after about 2 weeks of messaging. Still enjoying a great relationship and sex life 5 years later. We also work in the same building although had never met properly before first date. Might have been awkward bumping into each other in the elevator had it just ended up being a ONS 😬

Had a few ONSs before meeting ex-husband too, a couple of which I wouldn’t have minded turning into a relationship but just didn’t happen, another couple I was happy to leave as one nighters!

I make a habit of not judging people for their sexual preferences in the same way that I would expect not to be judged for mine.

I think referring to women who have different sexual habits to you as "cheap" is terrible.

I did and he's my husband and we've been married over 20 years :)

Whis it cheap if both parties want it. You are judgemental and old fashioned.

Exactly the same here.

Been together 11 years

I must admit that I had no problem with doing this 20 years ago, but wouldn't now. Nothing to do with cheapness of "being desperate" (what does that even mean?). It's just that sadly I no longer trust men enough to put myself in a vulnerable position with a man I don't know. I've had some bad experiences which mean that now unless I know them well and have had a whole range of interactions with them, including dates, I wouldn't be alone naked in a man's room, and wouldn't want a one night stand to know where I live.

I also think that apps have increased the number of unserious men on dating apps, so I'd be weary of a man's intentions. It's very different from back in the day, where you could meet someone socially, go on a date at your local bar, and sleep together knowing that he probably isn't lining up other dates on his phone the morning after.

I'm loving the stories from people who actually had sex BEFORE their first date.

I've slept with people loads of times on the first date / meeting. I went on to see the majority of them again, some for weeks, some for months, some for years... I definitely don't get that oxy-whatever you are wibbling on about. Sex is purely physical for me and when I wanted it I had it. I'm now one of those people who has stopped having sex as the physical desire hasn't been there since menopause hit - also coinciding with my lack of desire to have a partner.

Are men slags for having sex with a willing partner on the first day/night too OP? or is it 'different for men'? 🙄

I get this completely I had a few ONSs in my early twenties but now I’m in my forties, I need to have more of an emotional connection to even get turned on in the first place!
I did sleep with my current partner on our first date but we did message each other all day every day for two weeks before hand. It was a great way to discuss our values and expectations from a relationship etc.

Once but we were already friends and had worked together for ages so it was inevitable

I always sleep with them on the first date. Why waste my time dating for months on end just to find they can't satisfy me in the bedroom? If you're looking to purchase a car don't you take it out for a test drive first? Anyway, I've had plenty of relationships after sleeping with people on the first date, some long term, some short term, some ended up as FWB and some remained a ONS.

Bravo to all those where it has developed into a relationship sadly I think many men they loose interest if they get sex too easily, or indeed if a woman is just too keen/easy to get. I think there is something to them enjoying the thrill of the chase and feeling that they’ve got someone special who isn’t just easily available to anyone. I dated extensively and came to this conclusion such that I wouldn’t sleep with someone for at least 5 dates if I wanted a relationship. Moreover I think it’s better to evaluate potential more objectively and sex can cloud my judgement too

Yes. Been together 18 years, married for 8. Wedding anniversary tomorrow! Still very much in love.

Yes, because we spoke daily for quite some time before meeting up and thus already had established a connection. It wasn't what either of us were planning on happening in advance. Neither party made more of a 'move' than the other, so there was no "desperation" about it.

5.5 years in, mortgage and a child together.

Well H and I celebrated our 24th anniversary yesterday and we did sleep together on our first date so it can work out that way ime

I’d have zero interest in being in a relationship with a man who had this mindset.

My DP, and most of the men I’ve had past relationships with, would have zero interest in being in a relationship with women who had this mindset.

Each to their own.

Yeah, this. I don't want a relationship. I do like a good shag, though.

Okay, so you're doing an 'intimate thing' but if you just want a one-night stand, how can you be invested in them? I've been in a few intimate situations with doctors. Believe me, I'm not invested in any of them....

DH and I had a ONS 17 years ago. Been married 15 years.

If you’re not looking for a relationship then it’s absolutely fine.

If you’re looking for a relationship then I’d advise against it.

Some men are only on the dating sites to have sex - by not doing it straight away you will see whether they are actually interested or not.

I’ve also met many men who think that women who have sex on the first date are easy/slags/dirty etc (of course they don’t feel the same about themselves 🙄) and they wouldn’t have a relationship with a woman like that.

Cart before the horse?