The OW messaged me then deleted it.

[thiscantbemylife]

So here’s the back storey to it. I have six hours to kill waiting in an airport and this happened last night. Don’t know what to make of it, probably shouldn’t give it any thought but was bizarre.

I was just landing down in a plane turned my phone on and see a message from the women my ex left me for but said she had deleted it. This was on WhatsApp. She hasn’t messaged me once since the split almost a year ago. It made me so anxious had a scary plane landing and then bomb her message pops up.

I sent back a question mark and it read as she had seen it. She then started watching my social media stories. No reply so I don’t know if it was a mistake. Or because she had realised my ex is a dickhead. Because he is house siting our old home looking after my dog and she knows I’m coming back soon and now she’s insecure?

It was brutal how the relationship ended they had been having an affair for at least a year or more where they both lied to me. If you seen my previous posts you will have seen how messed up it made me at the time from flipping between knowing it was the right thing him being out my life to being dumbfounded how he could walk out on his family one day without even a conversation and jumping into a relationship with a women twice my age leaving me to raise our kids.

I feel vulnerable as we still at the stage where I don’t know what the future holds. She is extremely rich and I felt she essentially bought my family. Within months of him leaving she suggested they go into business together and she buys a house for him and our children.

So seeing her name pop up makes my stomach churn thinking will another bomb be dropped on my children’s and my life.

Why do you think she reached out?
What would you do? I’ve been doing so well the past few months I’m just like why now.

Not really as that’s what she wants. If I was to unblock her and say something unhinged A she probably won’t believe me as she fell for him after everything he’s done and B it will probably take away from the fact she tried to sabotage the end of my work trip and coming back to see my children. How malicious is it that she hoped I’d walk through the door and have a pop at him in front of our children but I didn’t even tell him, he went and I hugged my kids in bed all night. Whilst she was probably out of her mind.

Whilst I understand your brief elation due to her insecurity, you need to remember it is your husband who is claiming the most satisfying feeling, two women fighting over him, tiangulation.

You need to remember what a bastard he is who has abandonned his children for money.

I would definitely not allow him in your world again or your house.

And block her, she's not fit to have your number.

Yes I agree with this despite the absolutely richly deserved elation.

@thiscantbemylife I'm nearly 11 years on from the OW bomb that exploded in my life. It changed me as a person, it damaged my children, and while I am happy now and have a lovely life, I still get the odd moment where I'm glad they had to uproot their entire life to escape what they did to me and my kids. That they are isolated, that they have had to change their names in case anybody joins the dots of what they did. It's absolutely fine to enjoy this moment. You are better, you've done better and their bullshit will haunt them forever (or until he wakes up and realises he's stuck with a loon).

You’ve been a class act here OP. And she’s let herself down.

Take care he doesn’t try to worm his way back in.

💐

I’m behind…how did XH find out about the deleted text? Did the GF confess to him?

Nothing in OP's posts have suggested SHE is "fighting" for him. Quite the opposite. She has behaved with dignity and has used him to house sit and look after her dog.

@thiscantbemylife Enjoy the feeling that things are going downhill for the gruesome twosome! It is lovely feeling after the sadness these bastards caused.

Here's a tip - read a thread through before embarrassing yourself with your judgy comments. He was there to look after HIS children. Which he didn't do, but that's another story.

Yeah I don’t want him back. I can now see it happening to someone else and that is who he is and how he makes women feel. It was never me or anything I could have done. He just found someone that won’t call him out on the drinking,smoking and has money for the life he wants. He was already successful financially and it is never enough for him. He will never be satisfied with anyone and I truly believe that.

If you knew the situation in real life it truly is shocking she looks older than his mum and it is as clear as day he is in it for the money and was okay with abandoning his family for what flash cars and bigger houses. All I see when I look at him now is a coward and a Gigolo.

I wish you could know what they look like he has a baby face and I’m not even joking she looks like an old woman like in those documentaries where an older rich women gets scammed by handsome younger man. Part of me feels sorry for her as she must know deep down it’s not attraction of the flesh but purely her money which is from her husband she is divorcing and no doubt because she has fell for my ex. So she will wake up one day probably regretting that when he’s used her and moved on.

But at the same time I hate them equally 😂and enjoy knowing it’s going to shit already and it hasn’t just been me suffering and picking up the pieces with our children.

Going to leave it at this there isn’t anything else to add. Hope someone else who is in a similar situation reads this thread and knows karma does often come around. We live in a society where its so easy for men to create families and walk out on them.

@thiscantbemylife The more I read about your ex and OW, the more it mirrors my situation! Although OW wasn't divorcing, her husband was killed in an accident and mine stepped right into his shoes. Also a big age gap, she looks like his nanna. He wanted money he didn't have to earn. They really are a breed. It's grim. We are the fortunate ones here.

I admire your dignity ❤️
If it were me I'd have messaged her and hit on every insecurity that she has.
Cheaters always cheat.
How did it feel to be jealous & insecure?
Why do you think he's with you?
Is it for your money?
Is it your youthful appearance?
How will you feel when he trades you in for a younger model, wanna swap war stories when the time comes?
Do you realise that when you go out together you look like mother and son.
Yeah, keep your dignity, DO NOT be like itsgoingtobeabumpyride 😂

Yeah trust me it’s tempting but that’s what she wanted. She wanted me to come home have a go at him and then her to look like the victim.

She genuinely thought he would buy her accidentally messaging me but he was like even if that was true why didn’t you say it was a mistake. The last time stuff like this happened she blamed her teenage son using her phone. Guess she couldn’t use that one again.

My friends made bets on it getting to a year first before going wrong so turns out it’s all going pear shaped before that. 😂

I have no sympathy for men who abandon families and women who are okay going after men with families of young children are the lowest of the low. They both as bad as each other in my eyes.

@thiscantbemylife Believe me OP you are going to have the last laugh. Those eejits deserve each other.

@thiscantbemylife
Your very existence is eating her alive.
I hope your friends are right, it certainly looks like it all going pear shaped.
Your best revenge is a life well lived.
I love this quote "Never wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it"
Keep being you ❤️

You should be so proud of yourself. I can't believe you are the same woman that wrote the original post. Time is certainly a healer.

I very much had the last laugh when something similar-ish happened to me but it’s actually a very hollow feeling. I was completely blind sided by everything ex-DH and the OW put me through, it was one of the worst times of my life, and the subsequent demise of their relationship didn’t erase my experience

@thiscantbemylife I couldn't do the 50/50 one week on one week off thing. Children are not tennis balls ffs what is he thinking?!

I love this for you. Be proud of how far you've come.

Let her eat up herself and hopefully make your ex as miserable as he can possibly get.

Ignore the poster who says you are desperate to have your ex house sit. My ex house sits for me when I go away as although our kids have all grown up and left home I got custody of all the family animals when we split, so, as they were once his too why shouldn't he help out occasionally? Nothing to do with you not having it all sorted 😘

Things cannot be good in his and her relationship. I would not be happy for him to go to his exes house for a full day, nevermind 2 whole weeks, and especially as he packed the kids off to his mums.

He didnt have the kids so why not take the dog back to his house as his dog and the dog he is sitting for go on walks together and are familiar with one another also?

I can understand more if he was staying there to look after the kids aswell as the dog. The OW would still not be happy, but knowing the kids are not even with him would be a no, no and not justified at all. Perhaps the OW does not know the kids are at his mums.

I'm thinking this man is wanting to plant seeds of doubt in his girlfriends head. Maybe for her to buy him further. I think he believes that this woman cannot do better than him, and will do anything she can to keep hold of him. I mean the embarrasment of him finding someone new, but going back to his ex, especially. He cannot love or respect this woman, or any woman, as he did not love and respect the OP.

Yeah I think you’re right. All he talks about is money the other day talking about their relationship/not relationship and he was so casual like no money has been exchanged yet. Do you know what happened a few days after that drama she got him a ride in a sports the type of car that costs like half a million. he was bragging to me about it. So what you are saying makes sense.

Also he now back tracked saying she did message the wrong person with same name as me and they had the beginning Letter of my surname too. The gaslighting even now is crazy I worked it out and I’d be more likely to win the lottery with no one being born with my name in the uk for years. I looked on name popularity records for the fun of it so the chance that happened is crazy. She apparently showed a screen shot of the name so I just picture her ringing her mate up being like Susan I fucked up I need your help 😂

Shes got what she wanted though. I will make other arrangements in the future.
Even though it would drive her crazy for me and my EX to be on good terms I’m not playing their games. I’m not being used anymore. He was annoyed with her and was overally nice to me when I came back that evening. It’s triangulation. When I got with him looking back he did the same with his ex to me. Would talk about her with venom then down the line talk about her in the highest degree of endearment.

Their relationship grew on the back of hating me and that’s probably what she was trying to ignite to feel secure.

It isn’t even him and her that hurt me it’s how his family who I thought were my family are all onboard with it and think I am the bad person.

I also offered for him to have our kids an additional day in the week and he has ignored that so think the 50/50 was to fuck with me before I went away.

@thiscantbemylife please don’t give him
an audience anymore to speak about the OW, you are not his friend and he’s using this to manipulate your emotions and destabilise you. Don’t be a sounding board for his rubbish anymore.

I agree with you that he tried to mess with your mind and spoil your time away with work saying he wanted the kids 50/50. Keep on going, you are doing great x

This is a text book case of triangulation OP, please don’t let him drag you into his toxic mess, I’m pretty sure you can use that precious energy you’re wasting on him into a couple of beautiful personal projects. Boundaries boundaries (with your ex)… During comms stick to stuff pertaining your children, he’ll still try to drag you into his lady drama, please don’t fall for that crap and move on. Next time you pick a man make sure he’s not a narcissist, your ex ticks all the boxes.