Does anal sex need explicit consent?

[TellingFriends]

2 month relationship.

Man and woman have consensual PIV sex. Is it acceptable for him to have anal sex with her without asking first?

Woman would not have consented if asked beforehand but did not stop him.

Is it fair for him to assume the woman will say no if she doesn't want it?

Woman had never had anal sex before. Woman is also a CSA survivor but he didn't know this.

You. You said wife2b's post was "common sense". It wasn't. It was lies and rape-enabling. Much like all your posts including the ones that were deleted are/were.

If he was very young, incredibly inexperienced, and had never given a moment's thought to the normal functions of the human body (do I need to be even more explicit??) he might have assumed implicit consent. Then it would be up to a jury to decide whether this was a reasonable belief. Belief on its own is not enough, it has to be a reasonable belief.

If he was a normal adult with normal insight into when anal sex might be unacceptable and why it always requires explicit consent because it is always unacceptable to some people then, sorry, this is rape; unless an accident which I for one do not believe. And being "carried away" is a nonsense excuse, except perhaps for young teenager.

So I am firmly on the "you are mistaken" side.

Sorry, but I disagree. Can I finger you? Ooh, please do. Prudish and completely unsexy.

I honestly think I may be one of the women you're all referring to who doesn't know what consent is.

Because honestly. What on earth is enthusiastic and clear consent. Before any man goes anywhere near me is he meant to be verbally asking me if he can, in what way/where and only doing so if I very clearly say yes? Because that's never happened in any bedroom I've ever been in.

I don't think anyone has ever sat me down and been like "please can I have sex with you in this specific way" or "please may I allowed my lips to touch yours." If I'm honest I think I'd be confused if they did. I'd think it was a bit weird to have a formal chat about my sex life where I had to verbally express my consent.

It has, until this point - been assumed. I'm consenting by continuing with this clear path towards sexual activity we're on. Or by doing a particular thing that encourages that. But I've honestly never in... I don't know, 20 years, of being sexually active, been ASKED for consent, or verbally given it. Sex just happens. I don't have a chat first.

Dunno. Maybe I've spent 20 years being assaulted. But I think I've missed something somewhere!

"Do you know… you need to get consent for every type of sexual activity.
You shouldn’t be intimate with someone in any way without first making sure they are comfortable with it.
Consent must be obtained for each type of sexual activity, as well as each sexual encounter. Giving consent to oral sex, for example, does not mean consent has been given for vaginal or anal sex.
Touching someone in a sexual way without their consent could be classed as a criminal offence under the Sexual Offences Act 2003 – it could lead to a maximum of 10 years’ imprisonment.

Giving or receiving oral sex or engaging in penetrative sex without consent is a crime and could be treated as either rape or assault by penetration, which both carry a maximum sentence of life imprisonment."

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@Wife2b

Real people don’t have explicit conversations about sex and consent, one initiates and the other either joins in or says nah don’t fancy it

You don't think the majority of people mention anal sex before going ahead with it? Not with a formal sit down conversation but during sex? You don't think people enjoy talking about what they're doing because it's sexy to communicate and enjoy anticipating what's about to happen?

What oddly silent and disconnected sex you seem to think think is the norm for 'real people'.

No one sticks a dick in without warning

OMFG! The ignorance.

@Wife2b

No one sticks a dick in without warning

No one? So rape doesn't exist?

Goodness.

@Divasaurus

the fact is that this man had no reason to think that OP didn’t consent.

the fact is that this man had no reason to think that OP DID consent.

You don't start off with the presumption that anal sex is consented to. You start off with the presumption that it's NOT consented to.

@HazelPlayer I sincerely hope and pray that wife2b and Divasaurus are males posing as females. That in 2024 there are women who don't understand that penetration without consent is rape and consent must be obtained (per the LAW) before each activity, is truly shocking and devastating. I'd expect that level of ignorance in the 70s or 80s. Not in 2024. It shows how much more education is needed.

No one sticks a dick in without warning

I'd say it's actually quite common for porn sick types who don't give a fuck about true consent to chance sticking their dick in a woman anally, who'd made the mistake of consenting to vagjnal sex with them.

Which is very much without warning.

Don't you think their attitude is even worse if they're male?

I agree that of the are females, it's terrifying.

Unfortunately I have met some horrendous female misogynists though.

They were usually as thick as two short planks, I have to say.

To be fair, you can convey consent by positive actions. Not by inaction or freezing. But relying on actions would be unwise unless they are very explicit and at least a few words would be better.

So you didn't say this in response to wife2b's post:
"Be careful, you speak common sense! I completely agree with you."

In my experience, a significant proportion of men are rapists in one form or another.

Not the jump a woman at night in an alley way type rapists.

Rapist who assume any intimacy gives them the automatic entitlement to any sexual activity.

There are the water torturer type rapists too, who wear a woman down with repeated, incessant attempts at escalating intimacy and often use emotional blackmail to get sex. They tell themselves she really wanted it too, underneath. Her eventual resignation is taken as evidence of that.

So nothing would surprise me about some men.

I used to frequent a male fitness forum and if I repeated the stuff men said on there, people would be physically sick.

A significant proportion of men are rapists, is an especially bold claim.

deciding to go along with it to see how it goes.

That is what happened. It wasn't painful but not enjoyable and felt degrading.

I am honestly surprised that you would think that specifically about anal penetration. I am sure there are a lot of people who wouldn't.

Calling him a rapist is crying wolf for God's sake

If he stuck his dick in her anus without asking her consent first, he anally raped her, ergo he is a rapist.

The anus and rectum are not a free for all, bonus hole that you get the use of by default, if a woman consents to vaginal sex.

Reread the OP and stop making up lies. You shouldn't comment on things you don't understand when there's a vulnerable person reading it.

I'm assuming the MRA signal has gone up and a bunch of porn sick rapists have found the thread.