Physically attacked my DD16

[Awfulmother1]

Nc, feel disgusted and hate myself. I seriously physically attacked my DD16 yesterday causing her ear to bleed where she had earrings in. I'm vile, not fit to be called a mother and should have never had children. I'm ruining their lives. I'm a piece of shit.

@Awfulmother1 get to A&E. Get off here, stop reading and go. Your MH isn't good enough to read this stuff. You need to prioritise that at the moment.

Absolutely and remove themselves from their Toxic mother and partner.

Wtf? The OP is abusive.

Wonder if the fear of going to the police has led to the off to A&E?

The OP has been diagnosed with two different mental illnesses?

At least read her posts, she has also had a breakdown in the past.

OP has said she was abused as a child, has no family, had three kids under 4 (which is incredibly difficult), struggled to bond with her first daughter but was left alone to raise the next two without much help. She has diagnosed MH conditions (unsurprisingly). She is clearly in crisis and has admitted her own wrongdoing. Many of us have been in situations that are so confused and toxic that it's hard to see a way out. We don't have the DD or DH side of the story, true, so we don't havethe full picture. DH could be abusive or just trying to help daughters while mum is having a breakdown. Daughters may be awful or they may be reacting a difficult mum. Who knows for sure? I don't think it matters what the objective truth is here, except that OP is in crisis and she is a mum who has here children and needs help. Please get help OP. And don't give up. It may feel bleak and hopeless now, but relationships are salvageable in the long term if you make genuine change. I'm truly sorry for you and hope it works out. One day you will have a job, some money, some friends and your family back but take it one step at a time. I come from a family where occasional physical punishment was normal. I don't do it to my kids but it doesn't mean I am scarred by the "abuse" either.

No, you don’t. If you took the time to read all of the OP’s posts you’ll see that she’s mentally unwell and her partner is no help whatsoever - borderline abusive. She’s been driven to the edge by a sullen, lazy teenager who is abusive herself towards OP, but when she retaliates she’s the abuser !!??? She’s posted here for support and advice, and if you can’t give that then you’re part of the awful bullying campaign going on here. Hopefully some posters will do what I’m doing now and report the thread as bullying before OP reads any more. This is one of the worst threads I’ve ever seen on MN.

More likely to be the result of the pile of shit that’s been thrown at her on this thread.

Only because she has been abused and ruined and never loved. She is severely hurting and enraged, not mentally ill

I’ve done the same and I agree it is one of the worst threads I’ve read on MN.

It does not matter is it police or A and E. This lady needs clean break and away from abusive relatives.

OP has diagnosed mental health conditions and is permanently medically unfit to work - she’s also had a breakdown. But that said, I entirely agree with the rest of your post.

Thanks for the suggestion to report for bullying, I hadn't thought about that 🙏

I'm in the taxi, posting as I dont want to talk to the driver. Its only a 10 minute drive thankfully. My son gave me cash for the taxi. I told him I was going to the hospital. He got upset and so did I but he said he just wants me to be happy. I didn't contact my husband.

She’s been driven to the edge by a sullen, lazy teenager who is abusive herself towards OP, but when she retaliates she’s the abuser !!???

She threw an object at her child and then (in OP's own words) 'jumped up and attacked her'.

She has physically abused her daughter.

That much is NOT in doubt.

OP I read the first post and was ready to berate but honestly I've read the other posts and this hasn't just come from nowhere and it's a pressure pot of stuff that's now burst in you. He is the catalyst for this. You need to leave. However,wherever juet leave and pick up the pieces later before you reach the point of no return mentally. Sound alike your almost there anyway.

As tough as it is the kids are old enough and probably can cope alot better than you think for a few weeks without you whilst you prioritise yourself. What better than to get a mum coming back into their lives whose more together than completely broken. You have money in the house and an income from the ongoing benefits. So you need to speak to refuge get a place, sort your benefits into your account only for now so you have something to live off. He can pick up the mortgage and in divorce it will get sorted re money that's yours. Set just yourself up and then offer ds12 to come later if he wishes. You can't see straight atm and staying there will finish you off not to mention the damage its causing your children. Think if it as the ultimate sacrifice for your kids- distancing for a few weeks so you can heal yourself going forward and have a life plan and gifting them a better mum. Good luck op .

Take care of yourself sweety and no matter what, arrange yourself a new life without this scumbag of a man and hateful daughters.

Yes op is mentally ill.

The children (even the boy) are growing up in a dysfunctional household. they likely have issues of their own from growing up in the environment created by their parents.

Op even describes a household where the teen dd is clearly damaged by the environment. The environment that she didn’t create.

Op didn’t retaliate at all. She threw the remote first. She attacked her daughter. Her daughter retaliated.

It so easy to believe everyone else is to blame for the Ops violence. But you can’t imagine that actually these children are the ones being abused?

This, and it was a sustained attack despite the dd hitting her, I presume to stop She took the remote and launched it at me, it hit me. I saw red and jumped up and attacked her. She punched me in my stomach twice. Our younger children came in and I stopped.
But it seems to be that to acknowledge this is now 'bullying'.
So in future posts where some talks about an abusive partner, they're not if they had a bad childhood?

How was DC when you left. If he was really upset you might want to call someone and ask the to check on him.

I know it's hard but you're doing the right thing. Get the help you need. Good luck.

So you know FAR more than the professionals who diagnosed the OP?

Fascinating.

It makes you wonder why we bother with doctors and psychiatrists.

Why don't you see if you can contact the Community Mental Health nurse who visited the OP every single day for 8 months, and tell them they were wasting their time?

Oh and don't forget to tell the GP they were wrong to want to get the OP committed after her breakdown.

Wait, did she actually have a breakdown?

I thought I'd ask you considering you know more than the OP?

I think the whole environment is toxic, but my concern first and foremost is for OP, given her past mental health issues and what’s just happened - and because of the fact that she’s been subjected to this toxic behaviour for such a long time with no support whatsoever, and no escape, it’s not surprising that eventually she would break and fight back. That it took the form of physical abuse is dreadful, but not surprising. Also not surprising is the torrent of abuse and bullying that this thread has turned into. I hope the OP hides the thread and gets herself the help she desperately needs.

I think when you arrive you need to text someone to tell them that your 12 year old is alone at home and very upset and you are at the hospital and may not be back for a while.

Even if it’s his Dad. Leaving him there alone, while you go to hospital and he doesn’t know what is happening isn’t ok. If there is someone else you can contact, contact them and get them to tell your husband.

Your son should not be in the position to tell his father where you have gone when he gets back. And since your husband think you are at home he may not be back for a long time. Your son shouldn’t be there alone and upset.