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Physically attacked my DD16

887 replies

Awfulmother1 · 01/09/2024 09:25

Nc, feel disgusted and hate myself. I seriously physically attacked my DD16 yesterday causing her ear to bleed where she had earrings in. I'm vile, not fit to be called a mother and should have never had children. I'm ruining their lives. I'm a piece of shit.

OP posts:
JFDIYOLO · 01/09/2024 13:10

Sounds like you're at the end of your tether and this was the result, a last straw, which led to you attacking and injuring your own child.

I wonder if you grew up in a chaotic home? This kind of thing oozes down the generations.

Cut the 'poor me I'm a terrible person' crap - that's the sort of thing manipulative people do.

You're right to be seeking professional help, because you don't yet have the personal resources to cope with your situation.

Good that you have apologised. It won't be enough, so don't expect everything to be lovely and then get upset when it isn't.

Your children will be needing help too, after what they've experienced and seen.

I would say remove yourself from the house and find somewhere else while you work on yourself.

It will do your husband good to be the one coping with kids and a challenging teen and the house. He may find this changes him.

Your daughter is facing a frightening world out there.

She spent her adolescence under lockdown so her socialisation may have been impacted.

It seems she's never been taught how to look for work. That's a frightening process too, but at least that's a case of information and practice and encouragement.

I'm sorry this has happened, and that everything that led up to it was not adressed earlier.

Hunglikeapolevaulter · 01/09/2024 13:11

So you would stay completely still if someone is assaulting you?

If my mum had thrown something near me angrily, I wouldn't have then picked it up and thrown it back so it actually hit her, no. I also wouldn't have ever told her to shut up. And we had a pretty fractious relationship when I was sixeen.

fortheveryfirsttime · 01/09/2024 13:12

Awfulmother1 · 01/09/2024 13:04

I need to look after myself for once. I need to be admitted and should have been years ago. I'm so sad I'm putting my children through this. I need to ring a taxi and leave before they get home.

I wish you well and sincerely hope you get the help and support you need. Please keep talking if you need to.

TheClawDecides · 01/09/2024 13:12

Evergreen90 · 01/09/2024 13:07

By using the IP address

Which will tell them roughly what area the OP lives in.

They tend to cover very large areas too.

Awfulmother1 · 01/09/2024 13:12

And to the poster who said I can be tracked by my ip address thank you , you win, you have just pushed me over the edge.

OP posts:
MamaBx · 01/09/2024 13:12

This reply has been deleted

Posted in the wrong place

User050105 · 01/09/2024 13:12

Awfulmother1 · 01/09/2024 13:01

I've spoken to Womens Aid. I'm not in a safe space mentally. I'm getting dressed and going to A&E.

Good for you. You're doing the right thing.

Your life sounds very hard. I'm glad you're asking for help. I hope the right help is there for you

Hunglikeapolevaulter · 01/09/2024 13:13

And to the poster who said I can be tracked by my ip address thank you , you win, you have just pushed me over the edge.

Please ignore them, it's not up to them. It would need to be actual MN that take that decision and you're literally en route to getting help so why would they?

username44416 · 01/09/2024 13:13

Melania90 · 01/09/2024 13:09

Oh it was lovely! Children were children, not mini adults, boundaries were clear, the elders were respected and the children behaved like civilised human beings. 🥰 So yeah, reading about this awful girl acting like the woman of the house makes my skin crawl.
she won’t get very far in life, that’s for sure.

Edited

You're victim blaming. I'm assuming you beat up kids because you don't know any better, which isn't something to be warm and fuzzy about. Luckily many in the UK (not all) have evolved and we no longer have backwards ideas like that.

SwiftiesVSLestat · 01/09/2024 13:14

Melania90 · 01/09/2024 13:09

Oh it was lovely! Children were children, not mini adults, boundaries were clear, the elders were respected and the children behaved like civilised human beings. 🥰 So yeah, reading about this awful girl acting like the woman of the house makes my skin crawl.
she won’t get very far in life, that’s for sure.

Edited

How much do you know about children, especially girls when they grow up in a house with mentally ill parent?

I assume you know a lot.

I would love to know what generation you are? And which country you were brought up in that was a paradise.

JazzHandsYeah · 01/09/2024 13:14

Awfulmother1 · 01/09/2024 13:12

And to the poster who said I can be tracked by my ip address thank you , you win, you have just pushed me over the edge.

Ignore this. Turn off MN and get yourself to A&E. I really feel for you, having two teen daughters myself, I get how hard they can be at times.
Good luck OP x

TheClawDecides · 01/09/2024 13:15

Awfulmother1 · 01/09/2024 13:12

And to the poster who said I can be tracked by my ip address thank you , you win, you have just pushed me over the edge.

Don't worry, they're talking twaddle Flowers

JFDIYOLO · 01/09/2024 13:15

@MamaBx hi, you've landed in an individual thread about a particular person's own issue.

If you go back to Mumsnet landing page and start your own thread with the info you can start your own conversation.

Motnight · 01/09/2024 13:15

Awfulmother1 · 01/09/2024 13:04

I need to look after myself for once. I need to be admitted and should have been years ago. I'm so sad I'm putting my children through this. I need to ring a taxi and leave before they get home.

Good luck Op.

MissMoneyFairy · 01/09/2024 13:16

Awfulmother1 · 01/09/2024 13:12

And to the poster who said I can be tracked by my ip address thank you , you win, you have just pushed me over the edge.

Ignore that vile post, get yourself to hospital and get the help you need away from the house.

weAllWanttheBest · 01/09/2024 13:16

Honestly, I think you are not mentally ill nor aggressive. You have just been used, abused and neglected all your life and have no support, love or respect from anyone apart from your son.

Your own family are slowly sucking the life out of you. What a terrible place to be.

A divorce and a new life with your son?

Apileofballyhoo · 01/09/2024 13:16

Awfulmother1 · 01/09/2024 12:25

I last contacted them about two years ago after a few months of awful emotional , psychological and low level physical abuse from DH. He actually had me convinced I was crazy (maybe I am). At the time they had no room for me to stay with the three kids. I just felt totally defeated. I think I need to contact them and take my DS.

I think that's a very good idea.

Octavia64 · 01/09/2024 13:16

Melania90 · 01/09/2024 12:56

British parenting is so weird. Why is a 16 year old shushing her mother (what the FUCK?!), not listening, being disrespectful, and throwing things in retaliation?

If I had done that, or anyone I grew up with for that matter, there would have been hell to pay. So I am shocked that this awful girl’s behaviour is being defended. OP is being disrespected in her own home. The 16 year old needs to fix up or leave and live independently if she’s a woman now.

OP has said she is not British.

Your prejudices are showing.

SwiftiesVSLestat · 01/09/2024 13:17

Awfulmother1 · 01/09/2024 13:12

And to the poster who said I can be tracked by my ip address thank you , you win, you have just pushed me over the edge.

Look, that comment might be going a bit far. But that’s not pushed you over the edge. You can’t make everyone else responsible for you being ‘pushed over the edge’ consistently.

Go to a&e. Be really honest about how awful it all is. At least try and get some help.

JFDIYOLO · 01/09/2024 13:17

@Awfulmother1 ignore them, they're talking nonsense.

Gloriia · 01/09/2024 13:17

Why do people keep saying A&E is the right place? The op will wait hours for a mh nurse to assess and no doubt send her home and bounce her to her GP. They don't admit people unless they are having a serious mh episode such as psychosis or schizophrenia deterioration. Being anxious and overwhelmed needs GP management.

Frequency · 01/09/2024 13:18

IP addresses don't work like that outside of movies.

An ISP is allocated X number of IP addresses to assign. They are assigned dynamically. MNHQ can identify which IP address OP is currently using. They'd need a warrant to compel the ISP to reveal OP's address. Without the ISP cooperating you'll have enough information to find a rough location, not OP's actual address.

HotPotato123 · 01/09/2024 13:18

Gloriia · 01/09/2024 13:17

Why do people keep saying A&E is the right place? The op will wait hours for a mh nurse to assess and no doubt send her home and bounce her to her GP. They don't admit people unless they are having a serious mh episode such as psychosis or schizophrenia deterioration. Being anxious and overwhelmed needs GP management.

The op has said she is suicidal, yes they will treat her.

Oor · 01/09/2024 13:19

Melania90 · 01/09/2024 12:56

British parenting is so weird. Why is a 16 year old shushing her mother (what the FUCK?!), not listening, being disrespectful, and throwing things in retaliation?

If I had done that, or anyone I grew up with for that matter, there would have been hell to pay. So I am shocked that this awful girl’s behaviour is being defended. OP is being disrespected in her own home. The 16 year old needs to fix up or leave and live independently if she’s a woman now.

The OP has already said she’s in Ireland so I’m not sure why you’re banging on about British parenting and making yourself out to be quite xenophobic.

many kids in many countries would fight back if they were attacked by an adult. It’s called self defence

also FYI, 16 year olds aren’t women in the uk and Ireland . They’re children

Mischance · 01/09/2024 13:19

You need to model adult behavior and ways of resolving conflict - chucking things at her is not the way to go - she will not listen to you if you show yourself to be unworthy of respect.

You really do need some help as a family.

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