Partners family won’t accept me

[FlowerKL]

I met my partner at work last year. Our situation is slightly complicated in that he was married and his wife was pregnant. They ended up splitting up before the baby was born and we left things for a couple of months and then started seeing each other regularly once the baby was born.

The problem now is his family won’t accept me. He’s recently moved in with me and my son, but his parents won’t have anything to do with me and I’m not welcome.

I know the timing of us getting together is bad, I feel bad about it but we fell in love and they are now divorced.
I don’t know how to manage the situation, he was very close to his family. He is happy to support me and stay together, even if it means losing his family in the meantime. Will things settle over time? Is there anything that I can do to try to make amends?

OP was working on it for quite awhile. Men don't leave wives unless they have somewhere to go to. They especially don't leave their pregnant wife and abandon that child, unless they have a sucker lined up. OP as the OW schemed and manipulated and had an emotional affair and lured him. OP started an emotional relationship with a married man, but only made it 'official' when the baby was born. But she admits herself the were in an actual (emotional) relationship with he was still with his wife. She admitted this herself! She admits this herself that she was the OW. It's not even in question, the OP ADMITTED IT!

How is she more to blame for a man choosing to leave his wife before he even began a relationship with her? Is he without agency? No, he isn’t. He chose to end his marriage and he’s chosen to be with OP, regardless of what his parents and anyone else thinks. He may never regret that decision for all you know of him.

Batshittery, projection and wishful fucking thinking all over the place here. OP and her partner may or may not last, no one here can tell her.

Read the OP's posts. He began a relationship with OP when he was still with his wife. Emotional is still a relationship. Just because it wasn't physical, doesn't mean it wasn't a relationship. According to the OP's own.....posts , they were in an (emotional) relationship before he left his wife.

You don’t even know these people 😂

OP ‘admitted’ to being attracted to a man when he was married, and pursuing a relationship with him once he became single.

You’re creating your own narrative here.

Them being attracted to one another isn’t an affair, and it doesn’t constitute a relationship.

Read the OP's posts. They had an emotional affair when he was still with his wife.

OP admitted this, ffs!

Read the OP's posts. They got close and had an emotional affair. She admits this herself. It's not even in question. Go to "See all" next to the OP's first post, it will take you to all OP's posts in this thread. She has admitted it.

“We worked together and there was a connection between us” - aka they were attracted to one another. They didn’t act on that and begin a relationship until he was separated.

No sympathy from me either. I’d be very disappointed of my son and his grim affair partner if I was his parents too. Not surprised they have gone cold on him realising he has zero morals and don’t want to give you the time of day.

good job. Hope the two of you make each other miserable.

My sister did this. Our step mother said take a good luck he will do it to you next....guess what happened. He did it to her.

Everyone has to have a first post 🤷‍♀️

@FlowerKL I'm truly sorry for the way these people are treating you here. With your situation there really isn't anything at all you can do to speed the process up, and trying to force it is likely to make things worse not better. Best thing to do is resign yourself to the fact that this is gonna take a while, be humble, keep your head down, and above all be consistent with your partner (he needs to do the same!) and your new blended family. Sooner or later his family will see how much happier he is with you, and they'll start to warm to you, open up to you, and sooner or later you'll become a part of the family just like everyone else :)

It's pretty obvious that this would happen. Did you really not expect this? Did you genuinely expect his family to be fine with you just because he chose you? No. That's not how life works.

His parents won't disown him because he is their son and they love him. But you are nothing to them. Actually, it's worse than that, you are someone they don't like. That is on their son though. He didn't care what any of this would mean for you because he only cared about himself. He was happy to bring you in to be disliked.

But you, you have a son. Look what you've done to him. You've brought him into a family who, by association with you, will never treat him like family. And you've given him a stepfather who is a selfish disgrace of a father. That is on you.

Is he really worth all this? People looking down on you. Not accepting you. And a bitter ex-wife constantly in the background.

Yeah right, it's just as likely she'll be pregnant and single sooner or later.

Time will help

I wouldn't want to either.
Sleeping with a woman's husband when she is pregnant is beyond low.

Although if I was his family I would also be cutting him off.

Glad to see some families have boundaries around morals.

Why should they?

They don't have to pretend you are welcome in their lives or that they give a damn what you think/want.

It might seem unfair that they see their son but not you, given their son was the one ‘connecting’ with another woman whilst his wife was heavily pregnant.

But they’ve lost access to their grandchildren because of your affair, your relationship with their son is not going to fill that hole (at least for a long time).

What do you want from his parents? Why do you need to be acknowledged by them?

Your poor bloody son and his actual kid.
Grown ups can be so fucking selfish...

Why have you moved this scumbag in with your son?

It’s time to stop interfering with people’s lives, you and your partner have made enough of a mess. You can’t make amends for what you both did.

Good for her. Hopefully the kid grows up knowing that his father and stepmother are awful human beings.

You don't get it.
You can't make this right.
Admit it was a mistake and leave.

You’re getting horrible message from some twisted first wife’s.

I would ignore them.

The circumstances surrounding the start of your relationship will have upset the family’s. However, you have to give people time to process and adjust to the situation.