Partners family won’t accept me

[FlowerKL]

I met my partner at work last year. Our situation is slightly complicated in that he was married and his wife was pregnant. They ended up splitting up before the baby was born and we left things for a couple of months and then started seeing each other regularly once the baby was born.

The problem now is his family won’t accept me. He’s recently moved in with me and my son, but his parents won’t have anything to do with me and I’m not welcome.

I know the timing of us getting together is bad, I feel bad about it but we fell in love and they are now divorced.
I don’t know how to manage the situation, he was very close to his family. He is happy to support me and stay together, even if it means losing his family in the meantime. Will things settle over time? Is there anything that I can do to try to make amends?

Well you are the literal embodiment of the worst thing he has ever done in his life, and hopefully (for your sake) ever will again. Does that give it some context.

You say you met your partner at work. Do you both still work together? if you do, what do all of your workmates make of this?

Your timeline doesn't add up.

First you say you met him at work last year.
Later you say you've worked with him for 2 years. Then you say you've been with him for a year.
And when his wife was pregnant, you 'left it for a couple of months' until the baby was born.
So you did have an affair with him while they were married, and she was pregnant, until you sanctimoniously 'left it' during pregnancy months 6-9??
Are we really to believe that you had nothing to do with them splitting up, and he walked out and straight into your house based on some occasional meaningful glances?

Sorry but I just don't see how you're entirely innocent in this and that's why the family doesn't want to 'validate' you over the mother of their grandchild.

This 🙌🏻

Does this translate to you having an emotional affair but didn't actually have sex until after she had had the baby?

This still makes you the OW and the reason they split. Its still an affair OP, and I imagine thats why his family are so bitter towards you. You have both taken away that ability for them to see their grandchild at will, as it sounds as though his ex wife is wanting nothing to do with the lot of them.

You do sound a bit naive, I don't mean for that to sound condescending, but can you honestly not see that this man was investing his time and emotional energy in you while his wife was pregnant? And that is the ultimate shittiest thing a man can do to his wife. The fact you didn't make it physical until after they had split and the baby had been born is irrelevant. he was still cheating on his wife - with you.
And him waiting until after the baby was born is not heroic or makes him a decent guy. He wrecked his baby's family before she was even born. Well done him for making his dick wait another couple of weeks, hey.

How can you be with someone who can treat someone in that way? So you didn't have sex, but you still had an affair. He still betrayed his wife in the worst way and at the worst time possible. He still ended his babys family before she had even had a chance of one.

And he'll do it to you. Are you prepared to put your child through that? Because if he doesn't give a shit about his own, what makes you think he'll give a shit about yours?

I think as the relationship ages you might find things change. Lots of relationships start and end under excitement or duress and it’s difficult for those not caught up in the moment to appreciate that at the time. But family love does is evolve - I am 48 with kids aged 28 to 6 and peoples appreciation of the love they can give and life they can play in yours does change over time but not as quickly as you would hope

You're both terrible people.
Please don't get pregnant, or there'll just be another baby he abandons.

You broke them up and now you expect his family to embrace you? Hmmm. Be real here - them splitting up means less time with the grandchild, if any. You should have moved on when you found out he was taken.

This! So beautifully said!

I would give them time, but in all honestly you’re never going to get on great with them when they have such a view of you anyway. At the end of the day it was their son who left his pregnant wife you didn’t force him. Yet they talk to him but not you.
its amazing how many people on here are perfect and able to judge. You must be the only person in the world who has made a mistake 😂

If I were a member of his family, I wouldn’t want to have anything to do with you either.
He was into his wife enough to get her pregnant, then he decided to dip his wick into you. Not nice is it? Prepare for him to be double dipping with you too before long.

Sorry to say I wouldn't accept you either especially when children are involved. You should never have got yourself involved when there was a baby on the way/new baby

Glad you find it funny, clearly never been on the receiving end of such fucking awful behaviour then eh? A “mistake” is forgetting to feed the dog, or not taking the bins out. An emotional affair - which at best, is what the OP here has actually admitted to - is a series of decisions and choices made over days, weeks, months. Not a mistake. And all while the scumbag in question’s wife was pregnant ffs. He’s the majority scumbag here for sure but the OP isn’t less of one because she knowingly stepped into another woman’s marriage without the woman’s knowledge or consent. It’s fucking terrible behaviour, and speaks volumes about her character and morals.

Exactly. Trying to justify appalling behaviour and pretend to have morals.