Partner moved in now wants to bring cat

[Alyssah2]

So my partner moved in about a month ago after living with his parents. He has a pet cat. He moved in without the cat and things were going really well. Now his parents and he is saying he has to bring his cat because it’s not his parents responsibility to look after his cat. However I didn’t agree to having his cat stay with us and I wanted a pet free home. I had no intention to have a pet cat and I thought he understood that after he moved in without it. Now they’re saying they come as a package and I have to let his cat in, which I really don’t want to do. I feel that since it’s my house that I bought as a solo homebuyer that I should surely get a say in who I allow into my home. What would you do?

I wouldn't move in with you if my cat wasn't welcome and loved.

So you had a baby with a man who can't afford his own place, and is paying pittance each month - his parents have got rid of the leech and no one wants the cat except the man who has no means .... poor cat!!!

It sounds like the cat is the least of your worries. Send him back to his parents.

If I live to be 1,000 I'll never understand. It is truly one of the mysteries of the ages.

OP, you have ALL the power here!

Weigh it up:

Him not there - £200 child maintenance, if he visits he's surely more likely to pull his weight with his child, no cat, no added costs for him or cat, single person council tax etc

Him there - £200 towards "bills", no child maintenance, doesn't pull his weight, cat that you don't want, added costs for him plus cat, no single person discount on council tax

I am sorry you have such low self esteem, but what has happened is done. I love cats but I'm not sure the cat should be in a home where one person is not a cat lover.

When he moved in?? How about before the child was conceived?!

If you loved him, wanted to be a family with him and thought that this would be a good life for all three of you then you would find a way to make it work with the cat. You don't, and it looks like it won't, so the cat is irrelevant.

So he moved in by stealth and now he says he comes with a cat too?
Anything else...does he have debts, does he pull his weight financially and around the house?

No cat or he has to return to his parents to look after his cat

He sounds like a cocklodger in the making. No doubt you’re going all the ‘wife work’ or is he doing 50% of the cooking , cleaning, child caring etc? Is he paying half the bills?

For the record, £200 is often the amount quoted when parents ask his much they should charge young adult children still living at home in their first full time job,

ands he is paying that for his child, and living at yours Scot free.

don’t put him in the house details.

Maybe he has good genes? I'd want that for my child!
(I wouldnt want any other input from him though)

I would find it hard to tell someone to abandon a pet. It should be both of them or none of them.

But, seriously do not allow someone to live in your home bill free?? £200, he needs to grow up.

£200 wouldn't even touch the sides of bills, food, baby needs let alone he's getting a free roof
Sorry but you've saddled yourself with a cock lodger

Haha totaly !

I let him move in because he is my baby’s father. He pretty much moved in by accident as he was just stopping over to support with our child and just sort of stayed

Really? He just decided he was living with you and you didn't say anything about it?

He's paying fuck all and adding to your bills. Tell him to move back to his parents.

I really can't understand why you'd just accept him quietly moving in. Does he have a key?

Absolutely say no. He can move right back out again if they "come as a package". I'm pro-cat myself but am much more strongly pro-self-respect and a partner who can't respect your right to a pet-free-home is not a keeper.

Soooo….you’ve got yourself a cocklodger. With a cat. Who’s paying £0 toward his own rent/utilities/council tax/food. The £200 is for baby costs, not the aforementioned list. And to top it all off, you lose your council tax discount and get the pleasure of paying it because the cocklodger refuses to pay his living expenses, and will only pay the minimum child maintenance payments. No wonder his parents couldn’t wait to get rid. What exactly are you getting from this setup, OP, and why on earth did you have a baby with this manbaby?

I just feel for the cat

Why is the cat the problem in this situation! There are many more issues to solve first before the cat problem!

I stand by it. I'd rather have a freeloading cocklodger than a man who didn't like cats.

What a vile person.
Cocklodger.
Bin him.
The child support is for supporting the child. He wants to live for free. No one gets to do that unless they are exploiting someone. Don't be that someone.

Cats are lovely. It's humans very often that are horrible!

Gosh that's quite the Prince you have there

Hard no to both him and the cat. Under no circumstances let him get his feet under the table. His parents probably thank god every day that they have him out the door!