Partner moved in now wants to bring cat

[Alyssah2]

So my partner moved in about a month ago after living with his parents. He has a pet cat. He moved in without the cat and things were going really well. Now his parents and he is saying he has to bring his cat because it’s not his parents responsibility to look after his cat. However I didn’t agree to having his cat stay with us and I wanted a pet free home. I had no intention to have a pet cat and I thought he understood that after he moved in without it. Now they’re saying they come as a package and I have to let his cat in, which I really don’t want to do. I feel that since it’s my house that I bought as a solo homebuyer that I should surely get a say in who I allow into my home. What would you do?

The cat is the least of your worries.

Get the key off him, change the locks and put his stuff outside. His parents and him do not get to decide that he can live in your house.

You say he can’t do that, well he did do that and he is doing that. As he stopped over once then kept letting himself back in with a key and bringing more of his stuff. So yes he did do that

I'm sorry but I don't think this relationship is a good match.

Op, tell him to go back home and take his key off him.

he is a loser and a cocklodger. He will not bring value go your life.

And when you asked him to go back to his home after the few nights, he just said no? And that was the end of conversation and you just accepted that he'll live there?

You need to decide if you want a relationship with him. If you want to live with him. If not, tell him to leave. If he refuses then call the police and change the locks. I can't really figure out what actually is going on.

you could put the door on the snib when he goes out? @Alyssah2 (if it's that type)

You said that things were going 'really well' until the cat. If you think you can only give it a go if there is no cat, then that's the condition. You don't have to compromise. The relationship is already not financially equal. It reads like he is a (free) lodger - and co parent- rather than a partner in the normal sense..if that works for both of you, then happy days.

It would drive me nuts- but each to their own.

Absolutely!

Have you taken any steps to remove him?

Do you even want him in your house? Is he actually providing any financial or practical baby support? If not bin him and lock him out.

He’s got no money to get his own place 😂 he has 0 in savings, living pay check to pay check. And hates living with his parents as he doesn’t get on with them. So very interesting that your advice is for him to find his own place with his cat. That’ll be very tough for a guy with no money

Sounds like you choose the delivery boy as sperm donor, good for you and I hope he has good genes (his brain cells are not that great though), what makes no sense is that the living arrangements and how you guys wanted this family too look were not previously discussed, it all sounds super casual with very poor planning.

This thread is so A wind up 😂

This idiot man child will jeopardise your future prosperity with his minimum wage job and takeaways and cars. If he is officially resident in your home, you will lose your single person council tax discount, struggle to get any benefits towards childcare costs, never mind UC, whilst the baby is under 5. I bet his parents pay for the keep of that cat. My 2 older cats, together cost me about £120 pcm - on food, basic insurance, annual check up and immunisation, medicine for an arthritic hip for one, quarterly worming and fleaspot, catsitter if we go away. He will pull you down . Honestly, send him back to Mummy. He's a waster.

Gently, it’s you that needs a reality check.

You put:
I let him move in because he is my baby’s father.

You also say he has a spare key - how did he force himself in and get a spare key?

If you don’t want him there then tell him to leave.

Then it sounds like you should have been discussing a lot more than just the cat situation! Good luck.

Only because he can. He pays no rent and no bills, he is just a lodger so you can tell him to leave and change the locks. Why did you give him a key, wasn't it was obvious he'd move in. Do you want him there.

If the parents aren’t happy together I’d say it would be more beneficial for you to be apart. Don’t listen to the traditional family brigade who insist you have to ‘stay together for the children’! You sound like you’ve done a great job without him so far. Change the locks if you have to!

"You say he can’t do that, well he did do that and he is doing that. As he stopped over once then kept letting himself back in with a key and bringing more of his stuff. So yes he did do that"

🤣🤣 so you take the fucking key off him and tell him to leave.

Honestly, it's really not that difficult.

Oh no!! you may be right sadly 🙈

This isn't your problem. He's 30 years old, time he grows up and learns some independency. It's not for YOU to take in this total LOSER. Get rid of him, otherwise, this is your life now. Get help from the police if you feel unsafe telling him to leave.

Yeah can't decide if it's a troll or if we're replying to someone really dense. Talk about poor decision making skills.

@Alyssah2 What would happen if you told him to leave?

If he was only meant to be at your house for a short time and has moved his stuff in without discussing it with you… and he isn’t contributing to the household fairly, then are you sure you want him to stay?

If you don’t want him to stay, can you ask him to leave?

If you ask him to leave and he refuses then you can get help to have him removed.

And this is the man-child you decided to have a baby with. Why?

Tell him that go. Then change the locks.