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Original poster

Partner moved in now wants to bring cat

598 replies

Alyssah2 · 26/08/2024 16:43

So my partner moved in about a month ago after living with his parents. He has a pet cat. He moved in without the cat and things were going really well. Now his parents and he is saying he has to bring his cat because it’s not his parents responsibility to look after his cat. However I didn’t agree to having his cat stay with us and I wanted a pet free home. I had no intention to have a pet cat and I thought he understood that after he moved in without it. Now they’re saying they come as a package and I have to let his cat in, which I really don’t want to do. I feel that since it’s my house that I bought as a solo homebuyer that I should surely get a say in who I allow into my home. What would you do?

OP posts:
Ilovelifeverymuch · 26/08/2024 20:25

Greytulips · 26/08/2024 16:54

You can't just make someone abandon their pet!

Shes not making him do anything.

This is his problem to solve, keep saying you don’t want it living in your home.

She has every right to refuse and I agree she should continue to insist, but I also agree that she should have confirmed this before letting him move in. She knew he owned the car and lived with his parents and if it was me I would have made it absolutely clear that if he eas moving in it would be without the car but the way she tells the story it seems she thought he would know she didn't want the cat rather than they had a proper conversation about it.

ReadingSoManyThreads · 26/08/2024 20:25

Alyssah2 · 26/08/2024 17:44

My final say is that he can stay but the cat stays at his parents, not with me. He won’t be contributing more financially as he said he’s not paying my mortgage unless his name is on the house, which I am not going to do

Why on earth do you want this USER to stay? He'll push you around the rest of your life and end up having a claim on YOUR house.

Original poster
Alyssah2 · 26/08/2024 20:26

all those taking his side… his mother said to me “you have a child with him, he belongs in your house now, and his cat is part of the package, he has a family with you so his home is with you” him and his mother and father are forcing him and his cat on me. It’s meant to be MY house that I bought as a single mum. He moved in by stealth now they’re forcing a cat on me too

OP posts:
MeridianB · 26/08/2024 20:28

Well you can see where he gets his sponging attitude from then.

Seriously OP, you’re missing the point. Forget the cat. He’s taking advantage of you financially. He needs to move out. Where he moves to is not your problem.

purpleme12 · 26/08/2024 20:28

Alyssah2 · 26/08/2024 20:26

all those taking his side… his mother said to me “you have a child with him, he belongs in your house now, and his cat is part of the package, he has a family with you so his home is with you” him and his mother and father are forcing him and his cat on me. It’s meant to be MY house that I bought as a single mum. He moved in by stealth now they’re forcing a cat on me too

Well ok but at the same time if you really don't want him living with you then you have to tell him and put your foot down don't you.
Sooner rather than later

Original poster
Alyssah2 · 26/08/2024 20:28

Wwyd2025 · 26/08/2024 20:07

It's meant to be his home too. Give the cat a chance.

I’m not his home. It’s mine. I paid for it as a single mother. He moved himself in without having a proper conversation about it and doesn’t pay his way now his forcing a cat on me

OP posts:
Goldbar · 26/08/2024 20:29

He's got a good deal, hasn't he?

I'd tell him to move out again and he can start paying the £200 child support again (or just go to the CMS).

Ghostgirl77 · 26/08/2024 20:29

Ilovelifeverymuch · 26/08/2024 20:25

She has every right to refuse and I agree she should continue to insist, but I also agree that she should have confirmed this before letting him move in. She knew he owned the car and lived with his parents and if it was me I would have made it absolutely clear that if he eas moving in it would be without the car but the way she tells the story it seems she thought he would know she didn't want the cat rather than they had a proper conversation about it.

Show quote history

RTFT, she didn’t “let” him move in! He moved himself in without asking.

Whenthesilenceisntquiet · 26/08/2024 20:29

Why don’t you just tell him to move back to his Mum and Dad’s house?

He can still have contact with the baby (and pay maintenance).

It seems you have two babies on your hands…

Mickeymix · 26/08/2024 20:29

Alyssah2 · 26/08/2024 20:26

all those taking his side… his mother said to me “you have a child with him, he belongs in your house now, and his cat is part of the package, he has a family with you so his home is with you” him and his mother and father are forcing him and his cat on me. It’s meant to be MY house that I bought as a single mum. He moved in by stealth now they’re forcing a cat on me too

Absolutely NO. Do not give in. That man will be a source of trouble to someone for the rest of his life.
No - Reject

CowTown · 26/08/2024 20:30

“No. I’m a single mum, and Joe pays child maintenance for Katie. He is not my husband, therefore is not my family, and does not live here.”

No further discussion.

MistyMountainTop · 26/08/2024 20:30

DUMP HIM and put in a CMS claim pdq

Emptyandsad · 26/08/2024 20:31

He'll pay you more money and cost you less if he moves out and starts paying maintenance

MrsAmaretto · 26/08/2024 20:32

Tell him to fuck off back to his mums. I don’t get why you’re putting up with this?

BeyondOlympicLevelProcrastinator · 26/08/2024 20:32

Tell him to leave, and make it damn clear that if he doesn't go you will call the police and get him removed.

And if you're worried in advance that he is going to put up a fight, speak to the police in advance.

Lottieloo123 · 26/08/2024 20:33

He is taking advantage of you! Not even paying his way in terms of bills. Send him packing back to his mum!

HoppityBun · 26/08/2024 20:33

Alyssah2 · 26/08/2024 20:26

all those taking his side… his mother said to me “you have a child with him, he belongs in your house now, and his cat is part of the package, he has a family with you so his home is with you” him and his mother and father are forcing him and his cat on me. It’s meant to be MY house that I bought as a single mum. He moved in by stealth now they’re forcing a cat on me too

Then you really should see a solicitor and sort out the legal basis on which you’re cohabiting. If a cat is causing problems after one month it will be very difficult when you split up. Which is quite a likely outcome

KimFan · 26/08/2024 20:34

This should have been discussed beforehand!

Original poster
Alyssah2 · 26/08/2024 20:34

KimFan · 26/08/2024 20:34

This should have been discussed beforehand!

He didn’t give me a chance to discuss it. He stopped over a few days to help with my baby then just didn’t leave

OP posts:
beetr00 · 26/08/2024 20:35

Back to Mum & Dad's he goes then @Alyssah2

Would you be ok with that?

Starseeking · 26/08/2024 20:36

Send him back to live with the cat, and enjoy your home in peace without him.

CowTown · 26/08/2024 20:36

Did you give him a key?

Original poster
Alyssah2 · 26/08/2024 20:37

beetr00 · 26/08/2024 20:35

Back to Mum & Dad's he goes then @Alyssah2

Would you be ok with that?

Yes as that was the arrangement up until a month ago where he said he will stay a few nights to help with night feeds then never left. We’ve left apart ever since I was pregnant. I’m forcing myself to be a “family unit” as everyone says a 2 parent household is beneficial

OP posts:
VisitationRights · 26/08/2024 20:37

Fuck that. Send him back to the cat.

Original poster
Alyssah2 · 26/08/2024 20:37

CowTown · 26/08/2024 20:36

Did you give him a key?

Yes he has the spare key

OP posts: