Partner moved in now wants to bring cat

[Alyssah2]

So my partner moved in about a month ago after living with his parents. He has a pet cat. He moved in without the cat and things were going really well. Now his parents and he is saying he has to bring his cat because it’s not his parents responsibility to look after his cat. However I didn’t agree to having his cat stay with us and I wanted a pet free home. I had no intention to have a pet cat and I thought he understood that after he moved in without it. Now they’re saying they come as a package and I have to let his cat in, which I really don’t want to do. I feel that since it’s my house that I bought as a solo homebuyer that I should surely get a say in who I allow into my home. What would you do?

Well he doesnt have to pay your mortgage but he sure as heck can pay for the council tax (move from single deduction) food, electricity etc, and a ‘convenience fee’ for not having to stay at his parents any more and being able to see his baby anytime of the day or night. I assume (hope) he is doing 50% of the housework and 50% of the childcare.

Sounds like he is looking for a free ride for himself and his cat!

So you would dump a woman because she doesn't like cats?

OP, it won't be long before he stops paying you anything as he'll claim he's "pulling his weight" with DC. He'll also be asking you for spends or just taking money without asking. Are you really that desperate to have a man in your bed, even if he's DC's dad?

This. 🐈

He’s a cocklodger whose parents are fed up with him so he’s moved in with you by stealth but refuses to pay for his keep and expects you to work for him. Hardly the role model you want for your child.

He is moving in to support you and his baby. Is that right?
So why the fuck is he rating the cat as important?
Get rid of cat and then concentrate on the proper responsibilities of an adult human: his child and the mother. End of!

Send him back to mummy and daddy. Youll make a rod for your own back here allowing a cocklodger into your house. £200 seriously??! With you paying for a house and baby?! What a CF. Do not put him on the mortgage.

@Alyssah2

Ah, a 'stealth cocklodger' then. You never asked him to move in but you can certainly tell him to move out!

He's paying the maintenance amount that you'd be getting without him there, but it's far less than he's costing you in increased household costs. And I'll bet that he doesn't pull his weight in caring for your child or keeping the house clean.

What does he add to your life?

The cat is just a minor symptom of the serious problems you've got with this
cocklodger man.

He's manipulating and dominating you completely, to the extent that he is taking a major financial advantage of you, and you are allowing it. He must be costing you hundreds of pounds every month.

For heavens sake send him back to his parents! Ask yourself why you are being so placid while he rips you off daily. Take some action to protect yourself and the money you work so hard for.

I was gonna say this

It's meant to be his home too. Give the cat a chance.

"His home" that he's paying zilch towards?? The cat isn't the issue!

So you’re financially worse off as he’s paying a minimal amount towards child costs but expecting you to pay for him? Your costs will definitely go up just on food and council tax (you lose your 25% single person reduction). Tbh I think the cat is the least of your problems. If you really want this relationship to work, get him to move out and do agreed days for childcare (in your house if you must, depends how old your baby is), take some time to work on yourself and go back to dating (if you must, he doesn’t sound like someone who has your best interests at heart which I’d want in a partner). In a couple of years you can re evaluate and see whether you still want anything more than a coparenting relationship.

Hmm, renters should try that logic with their landlords; "I'm not paying you any rent because my name isn't on the mortgage/deeds. I'll just stay here rent-free".

Living in a house costs money. He needs to contribute fairly

He needs to go back to his mummy, daddy and cat. Did he even pay them any board and lodging?!

He's a cocklodger. 'Won't pay more as his name isn't on the mortgage'??? He needs to pay his half of bills, food, expenses - just a he would if he was renting!

Has he ever lived by himself?

You sound mature and sorted. Him, not so much.

It's the OP's home. He's just a cocklodger who moved in with no discussion.

Time to send him home tbh.

you didn’t agree to him moving in. he decided he would.

you don’t agree to his cat moving in. He decided that would be happening.

you didn’t set his rent. He decided it.

you do not have a live in partner who is equal contribution wise. You have a cocklodger.

If you dont sort it soon with boundaries re cat, money and chores, whilst its still early days, you will be back on here in 6 months full of resentment and struggling to get the twat out of your house 🤷🏻‍♀️ grow a back bone op

Wtf. Why would you let him use you like this?

I don't think I've ever said ltb. Never mind the cat he isn't even supporting his own child. Does he seriously think he doesn't have to pay rent? Cheeky twat.

Fuck me, you need to get this cocklodger out of your home. He's controlling everything, moves in with you without asking, doesn't contribute to living costs, now wants to bring his pet along...I wonder will you be paying the costs for that too?

He's totally taking advantage of you, get him out before he lays claim to your house. DO NOT accept any payments from him towards your mortgage. Just get him out and claim maintenance again, so much easier. He's just using you for a free roof over his head.

And having a baby with a man who lives with his parents is mega ICK. Has he never lived independently? Going from parents to you and not pulling his weight financially just shows he sees you as a mother figure. He needs to grow up and learn about life by living independently before moving himself in with a partner.

Get him out.

She wants a pet free house and the cat belongs to her partner so this isn't an option.

Alyssah2
No he’s not pulling his weight financially. I pay over a grand in bills and mortgage, he’s paying 200 which is what he paid in child maintenance whilst we were separated.

Don’t let him pay part of the mortgage as the house could be partially his if and when he moves out even if his name isn’t on the deeds.
Please, see a solicitor before you go any further.

Totally agree, and unfortunately she has a baby with him and he can only continue £200 to the household. The whole situation is messy.