Partner moved in now wants to bring cat

[Alyssah2]

So my partner moved in about a month ago after living with his parents. He has a pet cat. He moved in without the cat and things were going really well. Now his parents and he is saying he has to bring his cat because it’s not his parents responsibility to look after his cat. However I didn’t agree to having his cat stay with us and I wanted a pet free home. I had no intention to have a pet cat and I thought he understood that after he moved in without it. Now they’re saying they come as a package and I have to let his cat in, which I really don’t want to do. I feel that since it’s my house that I bought as a solo homebuyer that I should surely get a say in who I allow into my home. What would you do?

It doesn’t sound like your relationship has progressed much tbh. Fancy him making demands when he won’t even pay his way! And it wouldn’t be paying towards your mortgage, it would be paying rent. Send him back to his mum’s and continue co-parenting as this sounds like a very one-sided relationship.

He can't "insist" on any such thing! It sounds almost as though he's moved in by stealth, and now he has the cheek to try and impose his cat on you.

Unless you're really in love with him, I'd ask him to move out again, and go back to living apart and co-parenting.

I'd say goodbye to my girlfriend if this was the case. Cats are like kids; anyone who can't accept them deserves to be dumped.

Send him back to his parents op. You'll be better off financially.

You’ve larger problems than a cat.

If I was him I'd find my own place with my cat
This is a man who was living with his parents while only paying £200 towards his child then moved in, without permission, to the woman he was coparenting with but not actually in a relationship with. Now not paying any money at all towards his upkeep. Not a penny. I expect his parents expected board from him and he didn't want to pay that either.

this is not a man who is about to go out, get and pay for his own flat, look after his own cat and parent his child alone.

Read the updates, they have a baby together, and he just decided to move himself in and he won't contribute financially. And now the parents are trying to make out that if she wants him she has to take the cat too 😂

He's the one who deserves to be dumped.

He’s a cheeky cocklodger who’s only with you for sex and a free roof over his head. Get rid, send the manchild (and cat) back to the parents who produced him and let them sort him out.

Why would you have him in your house if he's contributing nothing more than when he wasn't there? Now he pays £200 and nothing for rent, food money etc. Previously he paid £200 but didn't cost you bills, council tax reduction, food etc.
He's a pisstaker. Don't waste money trying to maintain a relationship with a man that doesn't respect you and is trying to take advantage of you.

He cannot ‘insist on staying’ in your residence. You can throw him back to his parents, he has no right to stay. I am appalled that he’s paying a mere £20.-does that even pay for nappies/formula/baby clothes (hypothetical, of course it doesn’t).

This will never work. I feel sorry for your partner. If he is an animal lover, a lifetime (?) of no pets is awful to contemplate. He needs to be with a cat person.
Best to call it a day now.

Absolutely! OP please take some time to consider the mentality of anyone who would move in with someone they have a baby with (and the baby) and then have the attitude that they don't need to contribute financially at all unless they also get a stake in the house.

He should be over the moon to be living with you, he should want to be contributing financially and to be putting food on the table etc, he should want to pay his way and not be living off you. He is not a decent man.

I mean, I have cats and I wouldn't consider moving anywhere without them. But that would have been the conversation from the start.

There isn't many out there who would pick their cat over their baby though.

He needs to be reminded of the crucial thing - he does not get to ‘insist’. It’s not his house.

The cat is the least of your problems 😂

That cat is the least of your problems.

Yeah, you're focusing on the wrong thing here (and if the cat were the only issue my answer would be very different), but as this relationship seems doomed, you might as well end it over the cat as anything else! He can still be involved in his child's life.

"He jut sort of stayed "? what' the plan here? For your partner, not the cat I mean

£200 a month probably doesn't even cover his food! Never mind what you're losing on council tax as not a single person household anymore.

The cat is the least of your problems! He's a man-baby cocklodger!!

Kick him out!!

If that was a dealbreaker he should’ve checked with her before moving in and indeed depending on when he got with her even before having a relationship with her and a baby!

But tbf it sounds like neither of them are exactly making well thought out or carefully considered decisions, and their communication is poor.

If he leaves at this point- it’s a good thing as Op will have lost a freeloader and doesn’t have to tolerate a cat she doesn’t want.

So think it’s for the best - but on another level it’s a bit sad as it means he is basically prioritising a cat over living with his child.

Ask him to go home and only stay the night on the weekends.

He’s taking the piss out of you.

How much is he paying towards his child?
Or is that a stupid question.

I should imagine that someone will have already said this, but the cat seems like the least of your problems.....

Hard no.

Jesus. Don't marry this prince among men!

Seriously, even if he moves in without cat and contributes £200 a month, that won't even cover the bills etc he will be using. Eventually you will start resenting that he's costing you to have him living with you. I suggest before it gets to that stage, you send him back and keep the £200 as child maintenance. He can go back to visiting to look after the baby!