Crush on a married man

[Quynhoi09]

I haven't started it! So don't judge me, I didnt even know he was married when I started to crush on him.

So he is a driver and I work in an office and we meet sometimes 4 times a day to every 2 dáy, depending on his workload.

It all started with his strong eye contact. We keep going like this for 4 months already. He is 10 years older than me, green eyes and so confident but mysterious and playful.

It all started when I caught him staring at me and holding my gaze. I mean, he rarely looks away first even now.

He is also clumsy and nervous around me and we often talk and joke and smile when we meet and we like to spend time alone together just talking and staring deep into each other's eyes and the attraction is so obvious that 2 of his other colleagues that also work as drivers started teasing us when they saw us, on different days.

He stare at me when other men come to talk to me as well.

The thing is I asked him out once over text and he said he doesnt have time because he has a family and told me to find someone else.

I did agree and took it as a sign to finally move on. But it didnt end here like I thought. When we meet 3 days later I tried to ingore him but as soon as he meet me he said "Im not upset. Just dont send me texts like that anymore coz if my wife sees she will leave me" and that was it all.

And after a few days I comepletly ignored him, not even look at him, he started lingering around me, like he doesnt wanna go and then he tried to approach me to make jokes or greet me first. Sometimes he also calls me to help him with work related things.

And when he saw me staring at him again he held my gaze for a few seconds, it made me melt. And we keep making eye contact again now , especially before he leaves he will stare at me until he pass me from his car everytime.

He followed my tiktok and sent me a greeting as well when I followed him back.

Sometimes I have to even call him for work related stuff in the evening and he'd tell me that he got home and he'll take my call, why isn't he scared of his wife at home lol.

And why he does all these things if he claims to love his wife so much?

Did you ever had a situation like this? How did it end?

Yes I did and I regret it and feel deep shame even now decades later. There’s no excuse, it’s bad behaviour on both sides. Don’t do anything!! The shame will eat at you if you’re a decent person at heart but have got caught up in the moment(s). Just leave well alone. Seriously!!

He will not leave his wife for you. Move on now before it starts to hurt.

Have you seen Pretty Woman?

Lots of men hugging, holding your hand and you going after married men - hate to break it to you babe but you're known as being easy in the office...

Why even acknowledge him now he's told you he's married? He's a dick for flirting with you knowing you like him that shows what type of man he is, my advice tell him too get lost

You started by saying don't judge but it is very difficult not to. You are actively pursuing a married man, not because you see him as your soulmate but on your own admission you don't want to spend the rest of your life with him. What do you want? A little fling, to help break up the marriage then move on to the next married man, leaving their poor wives behind?
No judgement but there's a name for people who do that!

You sound very much like you thrive on male attention- get well soon 😑

This is classic limerence. Guy is flirty, of course he enjoys your attention but you’ll never be anything more to him.

So you fancy him, he may be attracted to you but is married with kids. Move on. End.

Some men look at most women like that. Ego boost/game. He has said no. He is married. He answers your call because it’s about work. Nothing more. Delete him off your snap chat. Find someone available.

He's literally just flirting with you to boost his own ego, he's already told you he has a family and to find someone else ...so find someone not married!
Have a bit of self respect and stay away from men already taken
It's women like you that give the good ones a bad name!

This !!! I DETEST people that end sentences in LOL … it was cringe when people started using 15 years ago , is grotesque now … I know somebody who is so terrified of sounding intense that she just throws it at the end of everything she says .. it’s BAD.

Wait what ? I’m dead … you already have a boyfriend you just forgot to mention it. You sound too immature for the age you said you are girl , you cannot be in your twenties … you sound like a teenager who is starting to notice boys … 1) it’s mostly adults and mums here … “ he followed my TikTok “ as a sign of attraction is something we are more used to hear from our kids than our peers . 2) stop using LOL cause it’s cringe 3) I think you are lost in translation you sound shallow and young and ridiculous so I don’t know if it’s a language thing .

Exactly this.

They don't "leave you alone" because you are an attention seeker who they presume would be an easy shag.

You think you're somehow really desirable to every other female they encounter? Grow up. You're the easy desperate one guaranteed to play along.

You asked a married man out and he told you to piss off and you're still acting like he sees you as anything more than a joke to stroke his ego. You are a very sad case indeed and counselling would be a good place to start.

100% he’s not interested. It doesn’t matter if he’s staring at you. If he looks at you. If he talks to you. If he gives you a compliment. If he’s staring at you because you’re talking to other men.
Not interested.
The only way you know if he’s interested, is if he tells you he’s left his wife and asks you out. Grow up.

Oh lovely, i think you're thinking about the wrong thing.

This mester, has got a wife and maybe some children and they might get really really hurt if you continue asking him out.

When people are hurt they cry alot.

Exactly it's like the Wittering of a love sick teenager.

Truth!

So know you know he's married why don't you get some self respect , grow up and go find your own fella. Move on basically

Read some of the similar threads on here all point to the same outcome... a woman who chases etc someone else's fella is pure lowlife and probably lacking In Self respect massively and don't think the men view you any different either if your willing to go behind the wife's/ gf back they know your easy for one thing and very rarely leave their partner.

Just try to move on.

He's married, so he's a scumbag, and if he ever agreed to date you, he would be an awful partner who would almost certainly cheat on you. Remembered this: he's a despicable person, and you're just an extracurricular vagina to him. He's not looking for forever with you, just a fumble behind his wife's back. You're worth more than that, so don't let him cheapen you. You deserve to have a partner all to yourself.

So stop staring at him. Stop paying attention to what he does, who he's talking to, or whether he's looking at you. You're giving him far too much attention. Block him on social media, you're not 12 and keeping I'm contact with him won't get you over your crush. So give yourself space. He'll if you can move offices or work that's not a bad idea.

Buy yourself a vibrator and hit the dating scene; it sounds like you're lonely abd looking for it in the wrong places. You didn't know he was married when the crush started, but you know now. Time to cut it cold turkey.

He has a wife and kids at home, and probably sex when he chests away from home: he has everything he wants. If you become the other woman, will you get everything you want? No. There will be no living public partnership for you: you'd just be the dirty secret of a pathetic man.

Would you want to be with him if his marriage broke down and he had 50/50 custody of his kids whikst paying alimony and living in a cruddy tiny flat after his divorce? After he's paid for his cheating? When he blanes you for his kids hating him? Because wgen affairs find out, tgat's your best case scenario. Either he chooses his wife and breaks it off with you...or he ends up a pathetic husk of a man who destroyed his family for sex.

Deep down you know you're better than that .

”if my wife sees she will leave me"
Says it all really, wife is his priority. You are the desperate tart that he could take advantage of.

Have some dignity and don’t destroy someone else as it will bite you.

Are you the woman from Baby Reindeer???

You’ll look back in a few years and think he’s a creep and loser. You’ll probably laugh.
Alternatively you’ll run away together and get married and you’ll be a home wrecker.
First one is more likely. He likes to flirt so he can boost his ego. He has told you he has a wife to see if you’ll keep chasing him and boost his ego more.

She's already got one.
Unbelievably.