I think (and it’s just my opinion) that your DD is immature.
She’s immature because both society and you both as parents, have not encouraged her independence, as in, you are always there for her, ready to support financially etc.
On one hand this makes you normal loving parents. But think back to when you were 26…what was life like for you? I was getting married, had a son, had been working full time for 4 years, had supported MYSELF through uni and had been working in some capacity since the age of 14. I hadn’t taken a penny from my parents since my 18th birthday.
Today we see adults (26 year olds) as kids still. We mollycoddle them (as a society) and talk about them as if they are still teens. It’s the way society has gone sadly, but just imagine what this does to ones self esteem?! 26 and still living at home with parents, unable to get on the housing ladder and be truly independent.
Couple that with parents who have a cold relationship, where she may subconsciously feel that she has to try to keep them together, siding with the most temperamental and most likely to leave party most often, to try to keep them on side and present, and when the hurt parent complains, quieting them down to try to keep that boat steady.
She’s likely got low self esteem - and she likely sees financial generosity as her main sign of love, as there seems to be a big emphasis on that within the family, where the kids have access to the bank accounts.
So I would just say the at she’s immature, with low self esteem and perhaps some narcissistic tendencies learnt from her dad, and the fact as a generation, they’ve been told that they are special and win trophies for absolutely nothing.
But admittedly I’m just being an armchair psychologist and in no way have any professional idea of what I’m talking about, so I may be very wrong of course.
But if it’s any consolation, as a teacher of older ‘children’ I see similar types of behaviour in most, and I do blame the way we have gone as a society above everything.