Do you think once a man hits you once he’ll do it again?

[Missmaria95]

I’m 28 and he’s 37, we’ve been together nearly 3 years. I’ve always knew he had a temper, not necessarily towards me, just no patients. He is an ex body builder, so for the first few months of our relationship he was taking steroids, admittedly he treated me really bad during those times. But last week, he punched me in the face, not hard enough for me to be in pain but all the same he punched me, he then spat in my face twice. This happed because I was moody due to us travelling 2 hours with his friend to end up just driving back home because his friends girlfriend didn’t want to participate, but I ‘ruined’ it by being moody. He apologised and said how much he hates himself. Like I say, this is the first time in the whole relationship he actually hit me. Do you think because I ‘forgave’ him he’ll do it again?

Absolutely he will, get out now. You deserve better.

Yep-run; he’s a walking 🚩 You deserve better. Leave whilst you can before you have longer term injuries

Yes - most people would not punch anyone in the face just because they are upset.
He’s one of those who will.
He will do it again.

OMG yes of course he will do it again and it will likely escalate to worse as well. As a man he will be much stronger than you even without the steroids.
You said the other girlfriend “wouldn’t participate” do you mind me asking in what? Was meant to be a sex swap type thing? Even if that had increased his anger levels it is still a massive massive red flag.

Yes, he will do it again. He is a despicable man, leave him now!

Please, please, please feel grateful you have had a survivable warning of violence. Some women don’t survive the first one.

You need to leave now. All you will do by staying is let him know that it is a boundary he can cross.

It didn’t happen because you were moody. It happened because he made the decision to spit on you and punch you. That isn’t love.

You have to ask, is it worth the risk of finding out about what happens next time? Can you never have a bad day when you are feeling grumpy again with him around?

Take this as him testing you, he won’t just do it again. Next time it will be worse.

I didn't stick around long enough to find out. The one time it happened to me, I left the same day and never went back.

About 10 years later I got some long apologetic email from him out of the blue. Assumed he must have been on some sort of recovery program where he had to do some sort of making-amends activity so had probably had done it again to someone else.

Get away from this man.

Yes definitely.

100%

And next time it won't 'just' be a punch. It'll be a punch then a kick when you're down, or a punch and a throw down the stairs.

Report him to the police (so there's a record existing the next time he punches a woman) and then get as far away from him as you can.

Yes and it’ll get worse. He knows you are accepting of being physically abused and humiliated so he knows he’s ‘safe’ to carry on. You accepted his shitty behaviour at the beginning of the relationship too, why is that? Why do you think you don’t deserve to be treated better?

Yes, yes he will. 100%

Don't stick around to find out. Get out.

You should do this free online course about domestic violence:

www.freedomprogramme.co.uk

He is a POS

Yes, absolutely. No doubt about it. Get out now while you still can. If you ‘forgive him’ now he’ll just do it again and be oh so apologetic...until it happens the next time. A massive red line has been crossed. Leave now and don’t look back.

And this 💯

I was going to say exactly what @Colddipinthemorning said.

Get a Claire's law check done too. You need to leave - he's treated you like shit the whole time you've been together, of course that won't change.

Also, I wish I'd reported my ex when he hit me but he convinced me the police would laugh at the state I'd 'got myself into'. You need to report this violence so hopefully other women will get the warning about him if they ask for a check on him.

If your Mum, Sister, best friend or neighbour told you that her partner punched her then spat in her face what would your reaction be?
If you were walking down the street or in a restaurant etc and man punched his partner in the face and then spat on her what would you do?
I bet you would be horrified! The fact he spat on you like a piece of garbage shows his disdain for you.
You've forgiven him probably multiple times for things and made excuses for him, he's grooming you into being his punchbag for life.
Make an emergency plan to leave ASAP. Recruit people to help and protect you, block him and do not listen to anything he has to say.
Awful to read this.

Would you let it slide if a friend punched you and spat in your face? He’s abused and humiliated you. NEVER tolerate this from anyone EVER. I’m saddened that this question has to be asked. Respect yourself.

Yes. That first punch is an escalation of him not treating you not very well before. And the physical violence will get worse and worse.

You need to protect yourself by leaving him.

TBH I'm not sure why you even carried on with this relationship after the first few weeks, never mind months and then years. Is your bar really that low? You need to leave him.

I wouldn't hang around to find out. Once is once too often.

Don't make excuses for him.

Doesn't matter if it's only once, once is one time too many.

I remember him saying he was sorry, he didn't mean to do it but I made him because I was moody. It's the classic script.

Don't do what I did and stay, you'll lose yourself (and not in a good way), you'll always be wondering if when you argue he'll do it again. It's his way of trying to control the argument,if you're scared you'll do what he says.

It happened to me once and I left. I got my head smashed against a wall for refusing to have anal sex.

I got presents, flowers, letters - not apologising, but saying no one would ever want me. I told him to
fuck off and find another punch bag. Fast forward, I met someone else, who 29 years later has never been abusive and treats me well.

This man is a dangerous manipulative violent bastard. He hit you. He spat on you. He views you with contempt and no better than a punchbag. Leave. This man will maim, cripple or kill you.

Don't let him think it's ok by staying around. It's important for him to learn that if he gets physical his girlfriend will leave. Sadly the only responsible thing you can do now is leave. Life will be better without him in it so it will help you too.

Also, I hate to say it because it’s so hard to hear when you’re clinging to the image of the man you thought you knew, but they all cry and apologise and feel just so so awful and of course they’ll never ever do anything like it again. They’re liars.