What would you do?

[Airyfairy1985]

I'm in a bit of a tricky dating scenario, I met this guy OLD a few weeks ago and in a short space of time we've hung out a lot and both admitted we've formed a really great connection.

We've been in touch a lot, but in the last week his phone has stopped receiving any messages and I've also noticed he's not posted anything on social media (i'm not on social media but he showed me his profile which is public). I've not been checking in a stalkerish way more than he's completely vanished and I was confused and concerned as to what's happened to him.

The only conclusion I can come to is that he's lost/broken his phone and has lost his contacts, he has to have a phone for work and to contact his kids so this is nothing to do with me, I'm also not blocked on whatsapp or anything like that so it seems like this is the likely scenario.

I guess I'm thinking I could just leave it to fate and assume I will never hear from him again, but if he has lost all numbers he won't be able to contact me in any other way, the only thing I could do is email him at this work address but I can't decide if that is total pyschopath behaviour, although due to his work, his email is easily available by a simple Google search.

What would you do?

Yeah we're not 'coming from a dark place' op, it's just if it looks like a duck and sounds like a duck, it's a duck.

No need to leave it to the fates. Just chalk this one up to an unfortunate mistake and block him right back. Sadly bad'uns can still get through to even the most seasoned of daters on occasion.

If he’s lost or broken his phone and he simply has to have a phone for work and his kids, then he’ll have had a new phone arrive in 24 hours.

Unless is old phone was something like a Nokia 3310 there is absolutely no way he’s lost all of his contacts, passwords for social media, etc.

I’m sure you’ll hear from him again at some point with some total bullshit excuse as to why he’s not been in touch sooner.

Try phoning his number from a landline or a different mobile and see if it still “can’t connect the call”.

ok thanks for all the advice, I didn't realise that about the whatsapp blocking I thought that it went straight to the grey no profile picture as that's what it's done previously, has it changed then?

Yup I have a work phone I can try this with....

If you block your caller id and try and call it will go ring then you know if you are blocked or not.

Online it says if you zoom in on profile pic if you're blocked it disappears, I can still see his, apparantely this is 'definitive' from whatsapp, not meaning to labour the point but I honestly don't think he has blocled me, anyway I'll try the phone thing 😱

I know, this is what you'd hope, the only thing I thought if it was broken, contacts were not saved etc, that could explain it, I know i'm making excuses though but could be a possibilty, pysch ward or dead I reckon

Could it be he has multiple phones? Someoje I was once dating appeared to not be online for days and would disappear (then tell me he had a bomb scare in the war zone where he was apparently working so all wifi was off)
Turns out he wasn’t and it was just a burner phone he used to contact me.
if he wanted to contact you - he would. He presumably knows what you do for a job so would contact you there.

If it quacks like a duck, it’s a duck. Don’t trick yourself into believing there is a reasonable explanation. He WILL contact you again to pick up where he left off with some crap excuse.

Expect better OP, don’t settle for this shit.

If someone blocks you on WhatsApp you’re right their picture goes and it’s just the grey one. If you block them and they don’t block you, you can still see their picture

Yep just tested with a friend right in front of me, when they block you and you click on photo it immediately disappears and says 'profile photo removed'

Have you phoned him from a different phone yet?

No you are wrong. I tested this with a friend d yesterday to see if a man I blocked would know that I had.
I temporarily blocked my friend. She could still see my pic, but messages she sent me were not marked delivered.
So yes -he has blocked you

You need to click on the photo and it says 'profile photo removed' I had my friend do this literally sat n front of us with our phones, block, her pic disappeared when I checked it, unblocked, photo reappeared. Might be different on Ipones maybe, ours are android

Why are you giving him so much of your headspace? Sounds like he's moved on.

With hold your number and call him. If it rings then he's blocked your number xx

Well its hard not too when you've had a stream of awful men and then one you really click with turns up. This is more about me just drawing a line under the situation, I have enough dignity to move on if I know i'm blocked, I know ghosting is a common dating scenario in this day and age. This isn't about that it's more just working out what's happened to him and trying to get some closure.

Withhold your number and call.
Get your friend to call.
Either of these things will tell you if that number is no longer in service.

It's been a few weeks OP, sorry to be harsh but he got what he wanted and has moved on. If he wanted to carry on, he'd move heaven and earth to get in touch.

But I suspect you know this and I suspect you've posted quite a bit about becoming obsessive about men who aren't interested

Could he not login to SM and contact you online if his phone was lost or broken?

Never posted anything before about any men, this isn't obsessional, again you're missing the point, I'm perfectly fine just trying to work out if he is alive or not, perfectly capable of moving on with my life, I'm a big girl

Just dial and drop? What if he answers?

We're not connected on social media, i'm not on any social media platforms apart from LinkedIn for work, the only way we can contact each other is via whatsapp/phone

If he does pick then you’ve got your answer

True 😬