Husband looking at my sisters "naughty website"

[Mumoftwo95]

I made a thread yesterday with screen shots of his notifications from what looked like a saucy hook up site, I had it out with him and he said they must be spam notifications from live streaming the boxing illegally. I looked it up and it said he could have accidentally clicked "allow pop ups" on his browser so I tried to find the settings for him and stumbled apon his search history which had shown he had been accessing has been accessing my sisters "naughty website" multiple times over the last few months. He said he hasn't subscribed as if that makes it any better. I feel so sick, betrayed and just completely ruined.

How would you go about moving out? I have bugger all in savings and have a 2 + 3 year old to look after, my whole life has fallen to pieces in the matter of minutes.

Yeah, that was mind blowing.

Like, laugh out loud, mind blowing.

This thread is a prime example of why I hate men being on Mumsnet. Quite a few male posters rushing in to say how ok and normal this is when it really isn't (I'm not saying all the posters saying this are men, but I've identified at least two who are).

Op, make a plan and get out. It's grim, it's cheating, it's disrespectful to you and your sister, and he has lied. He won't change, you deserve better.

Firstly, I am a married man. I would, if I were the OP, be more disgusted with my sister than my spouse if my sister was such a shameless exhibitionist. Men looking at porn are constantly certain that the very next image, site, variant on their viewing experience so far, will be the spectacularly exciting picture that they crave. This man may be convinced that he has the sexier, more desirable woman of the two but he cannot resist looking just to make certain. There is a modicum of addiction factor to porn viewing anyway and this one is all the more compelling because it is the next level of excitement. It is why sites that purport to show well known personalities in revealing situations are popular. Who, they ask, can resist seeing that (insert name or occupation of choice) woman's pudenda? Why? Is it different from all others? Don't know - have a look!
It is crazy, IMHO, to dump an otherwise successful relationship for some perceived disloyalty. It's not as though she caught him in flagrente with said sister nor any other woman. He looked; several times. It's not a hanging offence so don't hang him or your child's peace of mind for his simply being a typical male. No, I am not trying to excuse him, but isn't this a bit of an OTT reaction?
I have my flack jacket on for the incoming shots!

Yes, you have missed something. Missed having any sense or feeling. Missed understanding that watching his wife's sister is way beyond boundary over-stepping.
This is one of the most depressing low bars I have ever seen on here.

As a one off, morbid curiosity or would you look regularly over several months? 2 very different things.

Yes but how long was each session? And was he doing it for sexual gratification? I mean people can watch naughty things and not be sexually aroused.

You're not worth a shot, mate.

You're in the "ignore and walk away fast" category.

Haha, there are actually a lot of reasons to stay single, I definitely think single people are happier

@EdithBond this is such good advice. Really appreciate this myself too and I’m sure the OP will, amongst others who don’t share posts but actively watch and follow these type of threads in a bid to future leaving.

OP the trust is gone. I’m there now. I’ve been a stay at home mum for 14 years and start back at work next week with the exact aim of becoming financially free to leave in the future and have confided in close friends.

It feels like the first steps. You can do this.

I were the OP, be more disgusted with my sister than my spouse if my sister was such a shameless exhibitionist

What makes you think she's doing it for exhibitionism??

You don't actually believe the vast majority of only fans etc sex workers do it for exhibitionism, do you?

That's a rhetorical question, you clearly lack the ability to grasp basic life facts.

Assets?
What assets...He has a tied house that isn't his, by the sound of it, and OP uses that house to do her home baking business.

Sounds a nightmare.

Poor OP.

Exactly. I'm certain many of the people on this thread trying to make out this is entirely normal and they would be fine are men. They love to drop into every thread on here that involves sex and gaslight the OP. If any of these men had a wife that regularly masturbated to images of their own brother she'd be kicked to the curb immediately.

I don't believe there is a woman in the world that would be happy knowing that their husband wanks off to watching their sister on a sex site. Your own sister? God that's so grim. Will make the next family bbq interesting! He's done it multiple times, lied about it and he will have been lying about the hook up sites as well let's face it. Get a free solicitors appointment OP and find out your options. You may be able to stay in the house. At least when you know what your options are you can plan

I think a question to be asked is why would OP’s sister tell her and her husband she has a porn website. Her sister it may be for moral support, which is understandable, but if I were OP I’d be more pissed off with my sister telling my bf/partner/husband that she had one in the first place. This is the sort of info that is shared. He might tell his friends
he’s just found out his wife’s sister has one - they would all be bound to look, then tell him about it, so even if he wasn’t going to look before he’d be encouraged to by them or with them on a drunken night out.

OP’s sister shouldn’t have put her in this position where her marriage is now on the line bc of her husband’s curiosity.

Also - would it make any difference if the woman with the website was the OP’s SIL and her husband had accessed it - so not her sister but brother/sister’s wife or partner?

Then it can be filtered down to her best friend? Friend? Acquaintance? Work colleague? Mum at school? Neighbour? Local shop assistant? etc et etc all the way to complete stranger?

Where would your line be?

I'm so sick of the 'men posts' increasingly appearing on mumsnet threads to explain to the women how everything works 🙄 And why are they always so bloody long. I don't care what they think but they're not even easy to scroll past.

Motcouk clearly would be super chilled with his wife repeatedly looking on his brother's amateur porn/sexy pics account. Where he's got his dick out, and probably some ppv videos of him wanking said dick etc.

It would only be because she was making sure she'd got the "better" and sexier out of him and his brother, you see.

And also cause it's entirely natural for her to constantly view porn, including his bro's pics and performances. When there are 3 billion other images and videos online she could look at. Not of his brother & his cock.

All perfectly natural and reasonable. He'd just get his pipe and slippers and make polite conversation about her day.

Mmm hmm.

That or he's a vicar 😳

Some chefs get onsite accommodation included.

OP’s sister shouldn’t have put her in this position where her marriage is now on the line bc of her husband’s curiosity.

Good thing that's not what's happened here then, eh

I can imagine doing that myself out of curiosity, and not particularly getting off on them. I like to see women naked. But just because I’m looking at them it doesn’t mean I’m doing anything more than getting a thrill out of the naughtiness out of looking. I think the worry here is that the husband’s masturbating to pictures of her sister but I don’t think that’s necessarily the most likely thing that is happening. My sister in law is very attractive and very different in look to my wife, but i don’t fancy her and don’t fanaticise about her. I never have. I would totally sneak a look (multiple times) at pics if she had a website.. but i wouldn’t actually get off on it other than the naughty thrill of it, but i can’t imagine myself masturbating to it. Sexuality is complex.

Saying all that, i totally understand why it’s a complex and very upsetting thing for his wife

Thankfully it's not a blood relative, that would be seriously nasty.

HOW did he know that his sister in law has a porn site?

If I knew my husband had been deliberately perving on my sister I'd never respect him again. He'd repulse me.

I assume OP feels something similar since she intends to leave him. It's gross everyone trying to persuade her that she's wrong. Once your partner has lost your respect, what's the point in trying to limp on with the relationship?

I don't think it's universal male behaviour but thanks to the guys on here writing us the essays explaining that we shouldn't have any respect for men because actually they're all sexually incontinent scumbags. And they say feminists hate men!

100% agree.

🤣🤣
Would Moutcouk think it was his 'filthy' brothers fault though for shamelessly swinging his dick around online, tempting his poor helpless wife who of course is just always driven to find the best cock out there on porn sites. Everyone always thinks the next cock will be better dont they. She can't help it.

I think not. I think we all know what the outcome for Moutcouks wife would be 🤔

Thanks for coming on and completely missing the point.

im not an idiot and don’t need a man explaining the history of erotic images for fucks sake.

this is about a man regularly getting off on pictures of his wife’s sister.

if that something you’re comfortable doing - and let’s be clear here it’s not “curiosity killed the cat” it’s regularly masturbating over the OPs wife - then I feel sorry for your wife