Husband looking at my sisters "naughty website"

[Mumoftwo95]

I made a thread yesterday with screen shots of his notifications from what looked like a saucy hook up site, I had it out with him and he said they must be spam notifications from live streaming the boxing illegally. I looked it up and it said he could have accidentally clicked "allow pop ups" on his browser so I tried to find the settings for him and stumbled apon his search history which had shown he had been accessing has been accessing my sisters "naughty website" multiple times over the last few months. He said he hasn't subscribed as if that makes it any better. I feel so sick, betrayed and just completely ruined.

How would you go about moving out? I have bugger all in savings and have a 2 + 3 year old to look after, my whole life has fallen to pieces in the matter of minutes.

Well, if his sister was doing it I'd certainly have a Google tbh. It's natural to be curious

Also did you speak to your sister and find out whether he has paid for the content? I would look her up too based on curiosity, but paying for it is a completely kettle of fish

This isn't a pure porn discussion, a lot of posters seem to be implying outrage because it's the sister but this is an increasingly (not saying it's fine) normalised thing in the day of personal-brand pornography made readily available to friends and family. I was expressing shock at posters being detached from this.

Wtf?? Disown her sister in case future men can't stop themselves looking??? I really hope you're an only child!! That's a ridiculous suggestion. The sister has done absolutely nothing wrong.

I’m in the minority camp with you 🤷‍♀️ I don’t think it means we have a ‘low bar’ just because this wouldn’t be a dealbreaker!

Too many women put themselves in a position where they don’t have financial independence. Big lesson in making sure that you don’t end up in low paid jobs or as a stay at home parent and end up relying on a man. I am teaching my daughter to never end up in this position.

Is it natural to be curious about your SILs genitals? Or what she looks like when she's shagging?

I really can't understand why anyone would be so interested to see a relative doing anything sexual.

I would never forgive this, it's going to impact everything going forward and you'll always be thinking about it.

There's looking once to see what it's about, but this isn't what happened.

But he's looked multiple times and in secret and denied it when confronted until it became clear he was accessing it regularly.

He's been watching his SIL do porn.... Grim.

You'd be fine with your husband secretly looking at your sister's sex site, multiple times over a few months, and when you asked about it, he lies to you, and then only confesses after it became clear he's been doing this for a while?

Really???

I can't believe posters are conflating wanking & porn use. One is normal one is misogynistic exploitation

I think most of us try really hard not to see people we know naked. Like, we knock on doors, and spin away in embarrassment if we accidentally barge in.

We don’t grab every opportunity for a quick perve over a family member.

This

I just don’t see it as that big a deal. People have different opinions and that’s ok

I thought the whole point about Patreon was that you paid for content with a subscription.

Porn pop ups are a regular feature when streaming sports - obviously this isn't legal but many people do it to watch events taking place in different time zones for example.

TBF I'd be horrified that my sister had a porn site, why would you sell yourself like that. I don't know how you could come back from this, every time you had sex you'd be wondering if he was fantasising about her.

What if it was your mum then rather than your sister, would that be okay? What if it was your niece? Or his own sister - would that be weird enough or still not a big deal?

Morals aside he would give me the absolute creeps 😳

I guess there's some free bits to tempt people in to pay.

Am I the only one who doesn’t know what a patreon page is?

I'm curious - how many women do we think would rush out to get a look at their brother-in-laws cock, presumably "in action", out of "curiosity"? And do it multiple times? And expect their husbands to be fine with it?

Or is this kind of grim behaviour just seen as normal in men?

I'm sorry this has happened to you OP, I have nothing useful to say other than I don't think you're wrong to find this unacceptable.

I'm in two minds, because yes we're all curious and I might look too, but when a man is seeking that stuff out it's for sexual gratification. If my man is wanking to my friends, it's goodbye from me. It's one of those things that can be argued as minor but probably really isn't in the grand scheme of, can you trust this man, is he a dog, would he cheat. If he's looking multiple times at your sister's sex account, he's thinking about fucking your sister. If you're going to be slimy like that, keep it in your head or deal with the consequences.

Naughty. Jesus

Whole thing sounds faker than fake.

You are not in a position to leave so best thing would be to see if you can work things out. This might be a good motivator to get towards financial independence. People saying just up sticks are hardly being realistic when you haven't enough cash to pay for one months rent. Whether you can get past this would depend on what your relationship was/is like. Is he a good father? What do you want? Give yourself time to consider your options.

I know someone who was on naked attraction. I’ve never watched an episode because I wouldn’t want to inadvertently see him naked. A boundary is crossed when you see someone naked that can’t be undone. I respect him too much to bring that into our friendship.