Husband looking at my sisters "naughty website"

[Mumoftwo95]

I made a thread yesterday with screen shots of his notifications from what looked like a saucy hook up site, I had it out with him and he said they must be spam notifications from live streaming the boxing illegally. I looked it up and it said he could have accidentally clicked "allow pop ups" on his browser so I tried to find the settings for him and stumbled apon his search history which had shown he had been accessing has been accessing my sisters "naughty website" multiple times over the last few months. He said he hasn't subscribed as if that makes it any better. I feel so sick, betrayed and just completely ruined.

How would you go about moving out? I have bugger all in savings and have a 2 + 3 year old to look after, my whole life has fallen to pieces in the matter of minutes.

Exactly this. I don't think there's any shame in sex work, however I'd never ever look at someone I know, out of respect and I certainly wouldn't look at a partners relative. Its a massive boundary to cross and beyond creepy

What their father did is unforgivable, however the kids are more important right now at this vulnerable stage of their life.

Yes.

The entire relationship is utterly poisoned. If she stays her children will be raised in a poisoned relationship with a poisoned mother who will feel negative and distressed about herself.

Their father is masturbating to videos of their aunt and much more besides.

Her children are indeed important and vulnerable.

Prioritising her children does not mean tolerating disgusting, distressing behaviour from their father.

Thats just total bullocks. I know several men who can't stand porn and would never look at a relatives.

I can understand about how you must feel about finding out he has been looking at those sites, especially as one is your sister, sometimes blokes are just curious and just look at things, it doesn't necessarily mean he is in love with your sister or that he has even gotten off while looking at her site, it's going to be really awkward for a while but why not try and work things out, sit down and talk to him and find out why he went on her site and others.
If it wasn't your sisters one then I'd say he hasn't really done anything that wrong and a ot of people go on these sites, it will hurt more being your sister but is it worth ending a marriage over and having to struggle with your children.
I hope you can find a way to work through this.

Their father is masturbating to videos of their aunt and much more besides.

I am completely sympathetic to the op and her plan to leave , but we need to be accurate ...op has said any content like videos on her sister's page is behind a pay wall. So he's not 'masturbating to videos of their aunt". He has however repeatedly looked at the "cover page" of the site, which op says has topless images and explicit images with genitals obscured.

Absolutely not OK with it, but I don't think I'd break the family apart over it.

Grim. 🤢

it doesn't necessarily mean he is in love with your sister

What planet is this post on?

I seriously doubt op is concerned that her partner is in love with her sister!! She's disgusted that he's not only sought out sexual/nude/explicit images of her sister - repeatedly, but also that he's well aware her sister has mental health issues (with accompanying vulnerability/judgement problems etc.) which makes his behaviour doubly despicable & inappropriate.

Do you seriously think this is about her worrying that he's in love with her sister lol

or that he has even gotten off while looking at her site

Well we'll never know that, will we.

All we know is he repeatedly browsed her site, which is full of topless and obscures explicit images.

why not try and work things out, sit down and talk to him and find out why he went on her site and others.

I'm not sure what explanation you believe he'll give that would be acceptable.

As for "why not" - this thread (and the op's posts for that matter) make that very clear.

It's sad to see so many women with their bar set so low, who think his behaviour is acceptable.

You are so naive, why would he not look at these pics. Your sister put these pics out there for men to see. It would be mad to think that any man would not look at these. Your sister is making money from mens sexual urge, and taking advantage of that. Don't think your man is special

100% every man alive would check out his SILs page

You must surround yourself with scum bags, seriously.

I don't think my h is exceptional and when I related this thread to him, his instant response was "a family member? Fuck no" while he grimaced & his face was classic disgust.

But he must be acting, and a real good actor (even though he can't lie for shit) eh.

It would be mad to think that any man would not look at these.

Maybe you're projecting your own morals and standards.

Don't think your man is special

A man doesn't have to be special to have enough decency not to look up his partner's sister's nude & explicit images (repeatedly) and whom he also knows suffers significant mental health issues.

Sorry you don't understand something so basic.

Most people would have a look, at least I'm honest 🙂

The incels are back.

Apparently Andrew Tate sites can't keep their attention.

The amount of people on here justifying it as this being a mans perogative. It's fine if you let your husband walk all over you and do these disgusting things but my bar is set a little higher than that. I value myself, my sister and my children too much to end up being miserable for years to come. For that reason I'm done with him.

My children will always come first and they're my main focus but them growing up in a household where their mum is disgusted by their dad and can't even stand to look at him isn't healthy for them to see.

Well you can always take the kids & go live with the Amish, just avoid Mormons if you don’t want any sister-wives.

Also.. just a reminder that I made this post with the question of "how would I go about moving out".

This will be my last reply.. I'm actually disgusted by some of the comments I've read. Get some standards. 🙄

Disagree there. I don’t think most people would.. some? Yes. Most? Not IMO.

As soon as he knows the relationship is over he will be subscribing

Good luck OP. It may be worth approaching your local authority and getting on the housing register if you struggle to find private rented accommodation. Don’t forget to claim for UC, it can help with housing and childcare costs.

Good luck.

Lots of people here with very odd ideas about male sex drives, imagining they're somehow bigger than women's or somehow need porn.

True, but we have found out, as I suspected, that the DH never saw any porn. He saw the equivalent of a holiday photo from a Spanish beach- a topless woman.

Not something I would immediately and intentionally make myself and my kids homeless over without at least giving him a second chance.

This is very different, Voyeurism is an offence, and is absolutely not acceptable

What voyeurism?