My wife gave me grief for not trusting her but I got good reasons for not trusting her. What would you do in my situation?

[braddiesel]

For info. My wife and I have been married for 5 years.

Recently she gave me grief for being overly independent and not trusting her. In about 2 weeks from now, my mother will be admitted into the local hospital on Monday for a major surgery (not gonna say what surgery because it's personal) but on that very same day, I will be at work and me and my coworkers will have an important meeting that unfortunately I can't afford to miss so I won't be able to take the day off to take her to the hospital. Note: my mother and father are divorced so she lives alone. And my other brothers will also be very busy. So I called my long time best friend and he immediately said: no problems mate. I'll be there. My wife then told me that she can take her day off so she can take my mother to the hospital and look after but I told her no thank you.

My best friend already accepted to help me and my mother out so she doesn't have to be bothered by anything.

My wife gave me grief and said that I do not trust her as my life partner and that it kinda baffles her that I would call my best friend or brothers before turning to her but I responded with "yeah you are a good partner. That is why you left me stranded on the side of the road. You told me that you would pick me up from work but you forgot about me because you fell asleep.

About 5 months ago, my car broke down and needed a new clutch so I had no car to go to work. my wife has her car and even tho she would work from home, I didn't want to use her car because I don't like driving cars that doesn't belong to me so I took the bus to work while my car was getting fixed but one day, my wife wanted to pick me up from work but I told her no that I will find my way home alone but she insisted so I accepted. But I waited and waited and never showed up.

By pure luck, my best friend happened to drive by and he told me to get in the car and he gave me a ride home.

When I got home I found my wife sleeping on the couch. I couldn't believe my eyes. She woke up and profusely apologized but I laughed at her and said "yeah I am sure you sorry" the next day she apologized again and I told her it's all good.

This happened 5 months ago and she told me she apologized and she said that it's not fair that I am holding a grudge against her over an honest mistake.

What would you do ?

Yep, I call bull. You're either incredibly weird (and not in a good way) or a teen incel entertaining yourself in the summer holidays.

Tripp Trapp Tripp Trapp.

She made a mistake.

Seriously - get over it!

We all make mistakes. She apologised.

I actually had no issue with you asking a friend to help with your mum as that was your choice.

But your reasoning sucks. You're a horrid shite and if your wife has any sense she'll leave you.

If you could have called an uber, why didn’t you call your wife when you saw she wasn’t waiting for you? She could have come and picked you up then.

A one off doesn’t make for total loss of trust when it’s not cheating. You are being over dramatic.
Having read the rest of your responses, especially the rude, ‘sarcastic’ response to her apology, she’d be better off without you. You go on about reliability for someone you’re supposed to love but you can’t even be bothered to be there for your sick mother. You hold a pathetic grudge for a minor inconvenience.
Driving someone else’s car…I get that. But the wife’s car is not someone else’s car.
overall you come over as petty and childish. You certainly don’t come across as someone who loves his wife, so I hope she sees the light.

Okay, you sound like a twat

So you've been resenting and punishing her for five months because she fell asleep?
You think she fell asleep on purpose?
You think she only pretended to want to fetch you?
You think she lay on the sofa and thought I'm going to sleep now, he'll be waiting and I won't be there, mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha?

And you've been waiting for a chance to throw it in her face? Or another chance maybe? Perhaps you've been making snide comments or having digs at her whenever you can?

You asked for advice. Here's mine

Grow up.

She fell asleep. It wasn't deliberate. It happens. Behaving like this is actually an indicator you are possibly abusive. It's one of those red flags people talk about.

Now, obviously in isolation it's not possible to reach a conclusion, you may well be a normal, healthy, loving and good man who for some unknown reason has gone batcrap crazy on this single issue.

But why don't you invite your wife to read these comments, she knows you and has lived with you for years. Maybe she'll have an epiphany.

Teen incels should step away from the internet.

On the off chance this isn’t a bored teenager doing a very poor creative writing attempt…

"When I got home I found my wife sleeping on the couch. I couldn't believe my eyes. She woke up and profusely apologized but I laughed at her and said "yeah I am sure you sorry" the next day she apologized again and I told her it's all good."

She apologised profusely for her mistake, but you laughed at her and implied she wasn't sorry at all. This is immature and rude.
She then apologised the next day, and you accepted her apology.

Your wife told you “that it kinda baffles her that I would call my best friend or brothers before turning to her but I responded with "yeah you are a good partner. That is why you left me stranded on the side of the road. You told me that you would pick me up from work but you forgot about me because you fell asleep.“

So more sarcasm and passive aggressiveness from you, and also shifting the blame onto her for your (strange) choice to ask your friend to take your Mum to hospital before mentioning it to your wife.

This happened 5 months ago and she told me she apologized and she said that it's not fair that I am holding a grudge against her over an honest mistake. What would you do?

She’s right, it’s not fair that you’re holding a grudge over an honest mistake.
I’d advise your wife to divorce you. You sound like a childish, passive-aggressive nightmare with exceptionally poor communication skills and absolutely no emotional maturity.
I’d advise you to stay out of relationships until you’ve grown up a bit.

This. So you are getting your best friend to take your mum to hospital, rather than her own daughter in law?! What does your mum want?

You sound like you need to make your needs clearer as what’s happening is you’re going into a victim position which is pushing you away from her

Are you 17 or something?

Mate you’re over thinking this seriously!

Jeez,about two years ago my dp forgot to pick me up from work
He'd fallen asleep on the sofa and slept through
I tried to ring him but no answer my first thought was something had happened to him
I walked home (in a lot of pain as I have arthritis in my knee) and was scared as it was pitch black (we live in a small town and I tried to get a taxi but couldnt for some reason)
Got home-he was crashed on the sofa-i woke him up and he was horrified I'd walked home and said he was sorry
I'd forgotten all about it-it was just one of those things
No way would I hold it over his head forevermore

If this is real,grow up and leave her
Allow her to find a real man who accepts we are all human and humans make mistakes

Another petulant man child arrives, blaming women for his woes...

Doesn't like to drive a car that doesn't belong to him - wow, how would you ever cope with a rental?

Let your poor wife go, she deserves soooo much better.

Dear gods you sound like a petulant, entitled little man.
I hope your wife realises she deserves so much more than you in her life.

"AI, write me a shite, pointless story about me being a dick to my imaginary wife"

Never fails to amaze me, the amount of women married to idiotic men.

I don't rent cars. I Uber or use public transports to go everywhere when I am in a different city. I only drive a car that I own.

That's your choice. The consequences are your responsibility. Your wife doesn't have to accommodate your unwillingness to adapt. I gave driven other people's cars, rentals, courtesy cars in different countries. It's not a big deal, get used to it.

😀😀

She should leave you . She made one small mistake and you 5 months on are saying you can't depend on her !
Over dramatic much?
Not to mention controlling.
What you are doing to her is much worse then her falling asleep and not realising the time.

It's definitely emotional abuse. How long do you want to punish her for the small mistake?

How the hell is that emotional abuse ? The fact that I don't ever ask her for any help is emotional abuse ? You are weird.

It is abuse you are constantly reminding her . Digging away to cause as much damage as you can . Do you think it makes her feel good to have her partner say he can't trust her or ask for help?
I bet she feels great after that .
Sure that's not abusive at all!!
All she did was not pick you up. Get over it and grow up !

Telling someone you forgive them and then throwing it back in their face at a later date when it suits you absolutely does fall under emotional abuse OP.

Well last time I check when you truly care about someone, you don't ever let them down but that's just me. If the rolls were reversed, I would never forget about her like that.