My wife gave me grief for not trusting her but I got good reasons for not trusting her. What would you do in my situation?

[braddiesel]

For info. My wife and I have been married for 5 years.

Recently she gave me grief for being overly independent and not trusting her. In about 2 weeks from now, my mother will be admitted into the local hospital on Monday for a major surgery (not gonna say what surgery because it's personal) but on that very same day, I will be at work and me and my coworkers will have an important meeting that unfortunately I can't afford to miss so I won't be able to take the day off to take her to the hospital. Note: my mother and father are divorced so she lives alone. And my other brothers will also be very busy. So I called my long time best friend and he immediately said: no problems mate. I'll be there. My wife then told me that she can take her day off so she can take my mother to the hospital and look after but I told her no thank you.

My best friend already accepted to help me and my mother out so she doesn't have to be bothered by anything.

My wife gave me grief and said that I do not trust her as my life partner and that it kinda baffles her that I would call my best friend or brothers before turning to her but I responded with "yeah you are a good partner. That is why you left me stranded on the side of the road. You told me that you would pick me up from work but you forgot about me because you fell asleep.

About 5 months ago, my car broke down and needed a new clutch so I had no car to go to work. my wife has her car and even tho she would work from home, I didn't want to use her car because I don't like driving cars that doesn't belong to me so I took the bus to work while my car was getting fixed but one day, my wife wanted to pick me up from work but I told her no that I will find my way home alone but she insisted so I accepted. But I waited and waited and never showed up.

By pure luck, my best friend happened to drive by and he told me to get in the car and he gave me a ride home.

When I got home I found my wife sleeping on the couch. I couldn't believe my eyes. She woke up and profusely apologized but I laughed at her and said "yeah I am sure you sorry" the next day she apologized again and I told her it's all good.

This happened 5 months ago and she told me she apologized and she said that it's not fair that I am holding a grudge against her over an honest mistake.

What would you do ?

It is quite heartless to offer a service to someone you supposedly love and forget about them.

She didn't forget. She fell asleep.

How long do you intend to hold it against her exactly? 1 year? 5 years?

Given your rudeness when she profusely apologised and then this is be reconsidering the relationship if I was her. People who can't accept apologies for an unintended mistake, and who try and make it more emotive sounding, are insufferable.

@braddiesel
It's so much more heartless to be bearing such a grudge for an innocent mistake for so long!! If this is how you are then I for one pity her!

@braddiesel your writing sounds like you are 13.

Please explain how it is possible to either forget or remember something when you are asleep? I have never remembered or forgotten to do something whilst sleeping 🙄

I wasn't rude to her. I was being sarcastic.

Same here

I can't believe that every one of your mothers sons is too busy to take her to hospital for an important operation. I'm glad for her that your wife and your best friend are prepared to be there for her.

Posting for the deletion message

You are a narcissistic arsehole.

Hth

Someone who you can trust is someone who cares enough about you to never let you down.

You and your brothers are letting your mother down by not being there for her on the day of her major surgery. I don't know what your brothers are doing but surely whatever your meeting is about can't be more important than her.

Well she is the one who can't seem to keep promises. She showed me that I can't trust her so I got used to not trusting her.

She fell asleep that's not heartless!

What is heartless and pretty twisted is holding falling asleep against somebody as some sort of menopolised weapon.

Frankly your wife should divorce you (if she even exists) as your not emotionally intelligent enough to have a proper relationship!

So why stay with someone that you don't trust and in your eyes let's you down? Leave, this isn't a good relationship.

It seems ( if the post is real ) you both just live together but give not a monkey for each other. Why you couldnt take her car???? Why she loves you that much that she fell asleep on the couch? The whole thing does not make any sense

Yeah you are right. I might have to consider dumping her.

Same. Loads of these lately...

Firstly you and your brothers should step up here - I cannot believe that one of you ‘incredibly busy’ people 🙄 cannot take their mother to the hospital. I would be mortified if my son asked his best mate to take me in to hospital for a ‘personal’ operation. Thats low - unless there is a massive back story here about how awful she has been - jesus you all need to give yourselves a kick up the arse!!

The other bits are petty! You can’t drive her car for some ridiculous reason, she accidentally fell asleep and is still paying for that mistake 6 months later. Tbh perhaps you need to consider this relationship or learn how to communicate better.

What's with all these men on Mumsnet asking women to spend their time reading their posts and responding to them?

Hope the wife gets a divorce asap.

My best friend is considered part of the family. My mother loves him like he is part of us so she has no problem knowing about her personal problem.

And about the car, I don't like driving cars that don't belong to me.

Divorce her. She will be much happier

Really tedious man.

I thought you were going to say she shagged your best mate...not accidentally fell asleep.

Yes, I noticed that too.

its a fucking wide up.. haven't you got anything better to do with your evening?

You should divorce your poor wife who can go on and find someone better and who actually loves her.

Then you can drive off into the sunset with your best friend.

After he's driven your mother to the hospital since you and your brothers can't be bothered.