My wife gave me grief for not trusting her but I got good reasons for not trusting her. What would you do in my situation?

[braddiesel]

For info. My wife and I have been married for 5 years.

Recently she gave me grief for being overly independent and not trusting her. In about 2 weeks from now, my mother will be admitted into the local hospital on Monday for a major surgery (not gonna say what surgery because it's personal) but on that very same day, I will be at work and me and my coworkers will have an important meeting that unfortunately I can't afford to miss so I won't be able to take the day off to take her to the hospital. Note: my mother and father are divorced so she lives alone. And my other brothers will also be very busy. So I called my long time best friend and he immediately said: no problems mate. I'll be there. My wife then told me that she can take her day off so she can take my mother to the hospital and look after but I told her no thank you.

My best friend already accepted to help me and my mother out so she doesn't have to be bothered by anything.

My wife gave me grief and said that I do not trust her as my life partner and that it kinda baffles her that I would call my best friend or brothers before turning to her but I responded with "yeah you are a good partner. That is why you left me stranded on the side of the road. You told me that you would pick me up from work but you forgot about me because you fell asleep.

About 5 months ago, my car broke down and needed a new clutch so I had no car to go to work. my wife has her car and even tho she would work from home, I didn't want to use her car because I don't like driving cars that doesn't belong to me so I took the bus to work while my car was getting fixed but one day, my wife wanted to pick me up from work but I told her no that I will find my way home alone but she insisted so I accepted. But I waited and waited and never showed up.

By pure luck, my best friend happened to drive by and he told me to get in the car and he gave me a ride home.

When I got home I found my wife sleeping on the couch. I couldn't believe my eyes. She woke up and profusely apologized but I laughed at her and said "yeah I am sure you sorry" the next day she apologized again and I told her it's all good.

This happened 5 months ago and she told me she apologized and she said that it's not fair that I am holding a grudge against her over an honest mistake.

What would you do ?

This is the most bizarre post.

your wife fell asleep… she didn’t cheat on you, lie to you or purposely let you down. I think you are probably one of those people who would post something like this of your wife died on you… “ my wife died and didn’t pick me up from work!”

Honestkt, get a life. I suppose you are perfect in every single way? Never once made a mistake and your shit smells like roses?

can you give your wife the mums net link so she can join and get some support for a narcissistic husband

Shack up with your best mate. You clearly love him more than your wife.

What a pointless wind up post ? Poorly written and a load of cr**. Could you really not think of a more interesting story?

What would you do?

I'll tell you what I'd do. I'd divorce you, that's what.

This is written exactly like another post on here about someone not liking their wife's friends! The had also been married for 5 years!

The irony of this being an issue because your mum can’t rely on you.

This has to be a windup right!

That isn't a good reason to not trust your wife. And you're telling me you haven't done anything to let her down before? I'm pretty sure you have.

You see the thing with apologies is that, once you've accepted it you have to move on you can't keep bringing up things from the past and use it against her. Thats not nice.

Anyway it sounds like she would be better off without you.

What have I just read? Grow the fuck up. Imagine holding a grudge like this because your wife fell asleep. You sound absolutely vile. I hope she finds a way to leave. She deserves better than a man who has zero respect for her.

Hahaha!

I wasn't rude to her. I was being sarcastic.

You were downright rude to her.
Laughing at someone apologising to you is rude.

Then throwing it in her face, when she was offering to help your Mum, 5 months later is rude.

Why she's putting up with you is beyond me.

Exactly this!

All this waffling about trust and being there for people and yet neither the Op nor his multiple siblings can be there for their own mother

This would make sense if there were lots of other examples of this.

Yes, I definitely think you should not just consider dumping her, but actually dump her with immediate effect. I then think you should tell your best mate that he's now your defacto wife and can look after you, do you errands and take care of your mother. I'm sure he'll be happy and that would be much better for you. Your wife doesn't deserve you that's for sure.

I think its amusing that anyone is taking this seriously, it sounds like a creative writing attempt by a pre teen.

Talking about a married partner and saying I might dump her...no adult had ever spoken like that.

Im more amazed this has had responses but its school holidays and someone is clearly done with their homework and bored, odd place to hang out though.

Stop being so petty and holding a grudge? It's been 5 months, she's apologised repeatedly, what more do you want her to do??! She didn't forget to pick you up or just couldn't be bothered, she fell asleep. You sound like a complete arse 🙄

Not the point really. And a ridiculously childish comment.

What are we assuming this is a man? I thought same sex relationship

This sounds like a story that belongs in a take-a-break magazine.
5 months ago in La la land, you told your made-up wife it was all good.
Yet it isn't is it?

Your a bit unhinged in my opinion. Shes made an honest small mistake and this is how you treat her. This so so immature op. Are you perfect and never ever let her down then or are you human like the rest of us?

Divorce her poor woman and let her be free of your ridiculous attitude

Do your wife a huge favour and show her this post …hopefully she will get her running shoes on!🙏

Why stay married to someone you don't trust?
You sound like a 12 year old

Have you ever thought about couples therapy? You communicate better with a friend than your wife and seem to hold onto petty grudges. If you want this marriage to work you need to communicate better

If you are so nasty and petty that you'll hold a grudge from a single incident for 5 months then you aren't suitable to be in a proper partnership-style relationship and should stick to casual dating.

A normal person's reaction would be to mainly trust that it won't happen again, but it would be reasonable to phone her to check she's ready to go at the appropriate time the next 2 times she's doing something important, and she's entitled to be a little affronted but grudgingly accepting of you checking up on her, but after that you go back to default of trust.

By continuing to not trust her you are telling her loud and clear that you have zero confidence that she has any intelligence or capacity to learn from past mistakes. I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who thought so little of me - even though I am a little scatter brained and do make mistakes sometimes.

I think you underestimate just how ill educated, unintelligent and mysogynist some men out there actually are. This may indeed by a wind up, but the sentiments expressed and the lack of competence in expressing them are depressingly not uncommon.

Aren’t you a peach?