My wife gave me grief for not trusting her but I got good reasons for not trusting her. What would you do in my situation?

[braddiesel]

For info. My wife and I have been married for 5 years.

Recently she gave me grief for being overly independent and not trusting her. In about 2 weeks from now, my mother will be admitted into the local hospital on Monday for a major surgery (not gonna say what surgery because it's personal) but on that very same day, I will be at work and me and my coworkers will have an important meeting that unfortunately I can't afford to miss so I won't be able to take the day off to take her to the hospital. Note: my mother and father are divorced so she lives alone. And my other brothers will also be very busy. So I called my long time best friend and he immediately said: no problems mate. I'll be there. My wife then told me that she can take her day off so she can take my mother to the hospital and look after but I told her no thank you.

My best friend already accepted to help me and my mother out so she doesn't have to be bothered by anything.

My wife gave me grief and said that I do not trust her as my life partner and that it kinda baffles her that I would call my best friend or brothers before turning to her but I responded with "yeah you are a good partner. That is why you left me stranded on the side of the road. You told me that you would pick me up from work but you forgot about me because you fell asleep.

About 5 months ago, my car broke down and needed a new clutch so I had no car to go to work. my wife has her car and even tho she would work from home, I didn't want to use her car because I don't like driving cars that doesn't belong to me so I took the bus to work while my car was getting fixed but one day, my wife wanted to pick me up from work but I told her no that I will find my way home alone but she insisted so I accepted. But I waited and waited and never showed up.

By pure luck, my best friend happened to drive by and he told me to get in the car and he gave me a ride home.

When I got home I found my wife sleeping on the couch. I couldn't believe my eyes. She woke up and profusely apologized but I laughed at her and said "yeah I am sure you sorry" the next day she apologized again and I told her it's all good.

This happened 5 months ago and she told me she apologized and she said that it's not fair that I am holding a grudge against her over an honest mistake.

What would you do ?

Your wife is right and it's ridiculous and petty to hold a grudge for falling asleep! I mean its not like she didn't pick you up because she was out partying etc.

It's also baffling why you didn't just ask her to use her car in the first place assuming your insured on it or have 3rd party through tour own insurance.

What you describe is very petty, it sounds like your pretty poor on your communication skills as well.

I mean if I was your wife I’d be googling divorce😂 you cannot be serious OP

Reverse

Why ? All because I refuse to rely on you ?

There seems to be a lot of these posts lately, all sound like they are written by the same person, all slagging off their wives and all disbelieving that the wives dare to act like that.

Calling bullshit

Why are you still together. And that's a question for both of you. With that attitude what's the point really.

You really have to post on here and ask?

Tell your wife if she needs support, the relationships thread has good support for those in need.

If this were an ongoing thing, it would be understandable, but once in five years? You sound like you're looking for excuses to continue to punish her for this incident. Also, not driving your wife's car when yours was in the shop is just plain silly. I understand not borrowing from a friend or whatever, but the way you view your spouse in relation to you is concerning.

Are you really a grown man?

You know you've got to let it go eventually, you can't be harping on about this in 20 years. There'll be a day when you cock something up.

Any long term relationship is going to require forgiveness occasionally. Or you might as well call it quits.

You don’t sound mature enough to be in a relationship, and this marriage seems to be dead in the water. I’d call it a day and get some therapy for your trust issues before you start looking for a new relationship, one where you are prepared to share your life with the other person, if you want it to be successful.

You should've married your best friend.

Is this for real?! 😂

Nope, all because you’re petty, incapable of honest communication (forgiving then throwing it in my face months later, so obviously never got over it), and add to that the fact that if that one very small incident was enough for you to decide I’m not trustworthy then our marriage is over anyway. If you haven’t got trust you’ve got absolutely nothing, and if you can’t rely on your wife then it’s a completely pointless relationship anyway.

I can only assume this is a joke post because I can’t imagine anyone is actually like this

I’d marry your best mate if I were you. You sound more keen on him.

Apart from nodding off 5 months ago, what has she done wrong? And yeah I agree, it’s odd that a woman has three grown up sons and it’s one of their mates taking her to have a ‘personal’ operation. You and your brothers need to step up.

When the title said you have good reason not to trust your wife, I assumed you caught her rubbing your uncle’s crotch at a family wedding or something. She fell asleep!!

Bloody hell
she is tired ..

I would be concerned ..

I litterally thought you had a legitimate reason not to trust her .. I would be asking more what can I do to help 🤷‍♂️

Are you 12?

It's all you mate.

You should have used her car instead if taking the bus.

Your wife should have been your first & only thought about taking your mother to hospital.

Dont hold grudges. Especially small ones. She fell asleep ONCE.

what !? Bizarre post - no one really cares what your mum’s surgery is - no need to shroud in mystery. The car business is weird too. Just happens the best friend is always in the right place at the right time. Calling bullshit too I’m afraid - not sure what this motive might be though? I’ve read better plots in Enid Blyton novels

I'm loving the use of "the very same day" in this piece of creative writing, to mark the incredible coincidence of a medical appointment falling during the working week.

How stupid to be holding that grudge for so long. YABU

How lucky that your best friend Just Happened to be driving past at the time you were sitting on the kerb, waiting for your ride hope. Amazing coincidence.
Such a shame you didn't have a phone on you, so you could call and find out what was going on.

I didn't know they let 12 year olds marry...

It is quite heartless to offer a service to someone you supposedly love and forget about them.

You're right. I was silly enough to not call an Uber.