DH message. For me?

[lopdedop]

DH left home very (too?) early today to go to the nearest city (4hr journey) as he is flying abroad tomorrow. He's staying at an airport hotel. He arrived well before lunch. He needs to be at the airport at 5am (we're not in UK). Sent a message to say he'd arrived. About 2 hrs later sent a message. "I'm in room 38".
Am I over thinking? He's never sent me his room number before?
Is that strange? I'd really appreciate opinions.

You know what, I’m not convinced by the accidental text theory.

I used to make that mistake fairly regularly 20 years ago when I had a basic phone and had to write the message first, and choosing the recipient was the last thing I did before sending. But now with smart phones, you have to choose the person first, there is often a photo icon of them, your conversation history pops up before you even start writing. I have NEVER sent an accidental text since having a smart phone.

He might have sent the message as a genuine if clumsy attempt to ‘keep you informed’, or as a lazy opener to a casual chat. Perhaps he expected questions about whether it was a nice room, but when he got a suspicious response it turned sour.

Could he have gone to the hotel early to get some work done prior to the trip?
If it is a nice hotel funded by his work - could he perhaps just have wanted to take advantage of a nice lunch and dinner paid for on expenses?
Could he perhaps have wanted time to use the gym equipment, or watch the planes from the bar and enjoy the experience? Sounds silly perhaps, but it’s what I’d do, I love airports!

I wouldn’t automatically jump to the worst conclusion @lopdedop . It looks bad, but when you really think about it the mechanics of it, the other woman accidental text don’t seem at all likely.

Why would an OW need a longer message? She’ll be hanging around waiting for the room number. They’ve already done all their chatting to arrange the ‘date’. She just needs a short message so she can stop hanging about and go straight up.

“Now he’s in a mood with me”

”I feel like I’ve been losing my mind recently”

Both said within your first 3 posts OP 🥺

Textbook projection and gaslighting I’m afraid.

I have. My friends have. There simply isn’t an explanation why he would text her the room number.

When I discovered my partner had been cheating on me it was almost like a rush to find out I hadn’t been going mad as he’d made me feel. That clarity and vindication went through me like electricity. I used to be so wary of ‘trust your gut’ etc but now I think your intuition is aware of things and it’s important to listen.

Depends how old he is. I agree with PPs; 20 years ago it was normal, as you received faxes(!)/work messages/took calls on the hotel phone in the room etc.

Now not. Receptions have efficient computers and people have personal phones.

I am early 50s, I would tell teen DD the room I was in, JIC. Nobody else.

I imagine OPs husband is younger than me!

Sending love OP, I can tell how upset you are x

Not sure if I necessarily have them in the correct order! But texting you wife thhe room number is probably No 2!!

I know you've jumped to this suspect OW but honestly sounds like a sex worker to me. Very common. Men travel for work / any time alone in a hotel and they book one. I think a lot of people would be shocked by how common it is.

Got stats for that then?

I am sure you can contact AdultWork if you want and submit an FOI request :)

He said he should 'go for it!' 🤢. So he has admitted he wants to then?

OP this of course isn't adding up at all. It's so weird to text your room number with no context and the fact he got annoyed makes it even more obvious.

Agree it's very very dodgy. He's already made you doubt yourself which is classic gaslighting. The message he sent is what you would say to someone you've already arranged to meet - otherwise surely he'd write something like "I'm in room 38 in case you can't get through on my mobile". And then when you question him he got annoyed and defensive, whereas any normal person would immediately see how it could look and apologise and explain

He’s in a mood because he’s been rumbled!

If someone isn’t coming to visit you in your room why would they need the room number?

I’ve never asked dh to inform me of his room number when he’s away. If there was some sort of emergency you’d ring his mobile or failing that surely you’d just ring the hotel and say his name to reception and that you need to talk to him???

Often to call, they may prefer to habe the room number,

Bloody hell this isn't the 80's. I haven't stayed in a hotel in the last 5years that had had a phone in the room.

Whatever are you on about. I travel routinely for work. Every single large chain has phones in the room.

editing to add, you use them for concierge, reception, house keeping, restaurant, even alarms, where the hell are you staying they don’t have phones in the rooms?

Then why not explain who the message was intended for? Why lie?

Good luck with that, unless AdultWork is a public body.

I’m not googling it.

I have. Two weeks ago, and been called on it twice by reception.

Travelodges don’t have phones in the rooms. Premiere Inn have also removed them i believe.

I’d of ended my marriage when he threw his rings and said I’ll go for it then

that would of been the deal breaker cos he thought it and wanted to do it

Well...sorry to say the well worn Mumsnet phrase..

ARE you being 'Gaslit'?

I never understood what that meant until I watched the old film on you tube when recovering from a sick bug.

Trust your instincts.

Sure, budget hotels probably don’t but the poster should have clarified as the vast majority do.

Exactly.