DH message. For me?

[lopdedop]

DH left home very (too?) early today to go to the nearest city (4hr journey) as he is flying abroad tomorrow. He's staying at an airport hotel. He arrived well before lunch. He needs to be at the airport at 5am (we're not in UK). Sent a message to say he'd arrived. About 2 hrs later sent a message. "I'm in room 38".
Am I over thinking? He's never sent me his room number before?
Is that strange? I'd really appreciate opinions.

that wouldn't help imo - I would still be wondering if she had been there but just hadn't stayed the night.

Married people of the opposite sex don’t have work meetings in their hotel rooms late at night. They meet in the bar / reception / other public area of the hotel .

I travel on bunsiess and for pleasure all the time and I NEVER meed to tell my partner or family which room I’m in. If they need to contact me they use my mobile. In an emergency they could call the hotel , which would have a list do guests and their room numbers on their computer.

The only reason for someone to need to know their room number is if they plan to bypass reception ams go straight to the room . Some hotels have security locks on the internal doors / lift so you need a key card to get around the hotel .

If you were trying to resassure your partner you would FaceTime them and have a chat about your day . My teenaged kids likes to see around my room- I think it reassured them to see where I was , that the hotel was ok, the view out the window etd, maybe it made it seem more real.

what if NOT aSo to reassure then is leave my phone on silent 🙄 and not pick up.

He may be wanting to keep you in the loop incase you need him. Or perhaps in some way he's trying to get your attention. Maybe he wanted you to talk dirty to him or something,

@Happiestwhen He left in a bad mood having thrown his wedding rings at OP??? Not sure he's going to be trying to get into some sexting when they're not even speaking?

I'm afraid OP that I agree with pp that your DH's behaviour has already been appalling. He has shown his relationship with this young woman is more important to him than you.

What ever he is up to at the hotel and on this trip away is really the final nail in the coffin.

I think that while he is away you should be taking legal advice and preparing for divorce. I don't think you should communicate with him at all until the day he is due back when you should message him that he'll find his belongings on the door step.

It's awful for you, especially as you are newly married. But I don't see the point in trying to mend the relationship when he has shown you how little he loves and respects you.

Look in your heart, girl. You know the truth. You know what men are like. I'm sorry this is happening to you. My first husband cheated on me, and thankfully he died young.

No, that was not intended for you. And now he is angry with you for trying to ruin his plan.

Now that was a weird thing to say.

If it does turn out that he's cheating then better he accidentally let it slip and you find out than it carry on behind your back. I'm so sorry OP cheating is devastating xx

How did he die I wonder..

From your updates, it's over. Him not responding to you under these circumstances is underlining this.

Use this time to get organised for separating from him. He has told you he is 'going for it'. You don't need anything further and if it isn't your suspected OW, it is someone else.

Head up. dignified. Cut this off at the head now OP.

I bet she is now.

I'm sorry, I’d be very suspicious of this. He’s not updating you because you’re having a tough time. You’re probably having a tough time because of the reason he sent that message.

Hope you can get to the bottom of it and it’s all innocent but sadly I suspect not.

Oh Op, I'm so sorry for what he is putting you through. You deserve so much better. Hope you're ok.

Me too!

Feel sad for you OP, but nothing would have stopped me driving there.

There's no point in calling the hotel. You could try calling his work and ask for the other hotels number where he's staying for the week as you can't get through to his mobile. If they say he's on AL (and therefore not a work trip) you will have your answer.

But honestly even if its a legitimate work trip the trust is no longer there. You will always be side eyeing his phone or trying to trip him up about his whereabouts. Without trust there is no relationship.

So sorry OP.

Ooo this is a very good point. There could well be no work trip and it is just an excuse to spend time together with OW. Maybe abroad or maybe he is in a hotel nowhere near the airport I'm home soil.

Did you have proof of his flight tickets etc for work trip....

It’s very strange.

If it was for you, which would also be strange, surely he’d say something like “Just in case you’re trying to reach me or in case of emergency, I’m in room 38”.

It also seems a bit cold for someone he’s having an affair with, though.

I never usually speculate on these threads, but I’ll admit my first thought was a prostitute

There is no point in contacting the hotel. They won’t tell you anything. And they’ll have seen and heard it all before - the wife ringing with a false concern about her husband’s room

Interesting, though.
Everyone processes hurt and betrayal differently.

I'd say trust your gut on this one.

I agree, could have been a message for a sex worker. Trust your instincts.

In this case checking bank statements is your best bet to see if there is a recent cash withdrawal or mysterious bank transfer

If you do t have access I would just demand to see them and if he refuses you have your answer

I have messaged colleagues my room number. However, if the OP’s husband meant to do the same and sent the number to her by mistake, why not just say so?

Wait, there are rules to having an affair?!

What are rules 1 and 2?

I agree with others that you should just trust your gut here, OP. I really feel for you.

Haven’t read the full thread as all I needed to read was the OP. He is having an affair. Literally no other explanation. I’m sorry x