SlagAnon update

[mummybb]

Dear All,

don't know what happened yesterday - I accidentally asked for my thread to be deleted but I actually was removing posts which might have identified individuals.

Have asked MNHQ if it's possible to reinstate without those posts as I know some of you were finding it helpful, as was I, but it got a bit out of hand yestersay so it might be they decide it's better all round to keep it removed.

Sending you love,

mbb xxx

Rascal - just wanted to endorse stuffed's wise words - remember how desperate i was to lash out at ttb? It's what people do - do you remember that brilliant post of skyatnights - about the theory that people who fear they are losing someone act like this even though paradoxically it usually only serves to hasten the end of a relationship that is fading when they don't want it too. I'll bet you a cocktail or 3 that he doen't delete your number. And what does that mean anyway? He probably knows it, right? No, he is doing all he can to make you feel sorry for him as it is all the armoury he has left at his disposal. rise above it lovely.

oh and Stuffed - you are also on the mark about the exploitation thing. Someone early on here said that men like ours(?) search out and prey on a certain type of woman and i dismissed that out of hand at the time as a) sexist and b) impossible - given that I thought I was giving him slag vibes, not vulnerability ones - but several months down the line and having 'met' so many sane, intelligent women on the greener side of the fence (as it were), I am warming to this theory slightly. thank you ;)

Hello all!

How you all doin?

He was there yesterday, he had been waiting 2 hours I did my best to ignore him but then I talked and I seriously went from being giggly and dizzy to having tears in my eyes, back to being giggly and then feeling down and sad

He told me about this girl who is after him and then said it was true but nothing has happened - and nothing will -
he just wanted to see my reaction. I reminded him I am married and whatever he does is his busy and I don't want to know about it. He then went on about how we can never not be in contact because we are meant to be etc etc.

What is going on with my emotions? I need those 5-HTP don't I? Going to get them today I think.

How is everyone else? Better than me I hope!

oh rascal - don't be - he's such a twunt to do this to you again. And so pleased you didn't fall for the other, other woman thing (assuming you didn't - I know you always said you'd feel upset at the thought of him with someone else - do you still??). If he does have an easier target why would he be waiting for you again. He knows just how to play with your mind but I think you are several (dozen) steps ahead of his games now.

I know what he's doing - I did the same thing to ttb once to make him jealous - told him about a man chatting me up on the Gatwick express and giving me his number - it sort of worked I have to say...

--
In other news. A 39 year old Sussex woman was found today having a ridiculous telephone conversation with a man from the internet. 'Cyberman' as he is popularly known, talks very fast and is too clever by half. The woman was unavailable for comment.

oh rascal - don't be - he's such a twunt to do this to you again. And so pleased you didn't fall for the other, other woman thing (assuming you didn't - I know you always said you'd feel upset at the thought of him with someone else - do you still??). If he does have an easier target why would he be waiting for you again. He knows just how to play with your mind but I think you are several (dozen) steps ahead of his games now.

I know what he's doing - I did the same thing to ttb once to make him jealous - told him about a man chatting me up on the Gatwick express and giving me his number - it sort of worked I have to say...

--
In other news. A 39 year old Sussex woman was found today having a ridiculous telephone conversation with a man from the internet. 'Cyberman' as he is popularly known, talks very fast and is too clever by half. The woman was unavailable for comment.

lol mbb, that's funny! You be careful though! Although it is brill if it takes your mind off ttb....so long as you don't fall for him!

Yes, I do feel upset at the thought of him with someone else. Well, not upset, just a bit sick! I know it's inevitable but I don't want to know about it. It is true about the woman but he said he didn't get her number and isn't going to see her again. Last night he sent loads of texts saying how much he's missing me etc and that he wants us to be together and so on. I wish I could make that final break...it sounds so easy doesn't it and when he's horrible I can do it, but when he starts being nice..that's it.

I need to grow up and have a big kick up the backside, I know how stupid I'm being, really I do

I am about to take baby to the park - but had to stop by to say no - you are definitely not being stupid. Confused maybe - but don't say your feelings are stupid - they are YOUR feelings. Understand them, respect them. (can you tell I've been to counselling lately). You are obviously an attractive and desirable person - enjoy this feeling if it helps you - but keep remembering that OM is just a blip - a 20 year blip?? - and a stinky, leary, forgettable one I hope.

And news just in.. in a startling new development, the Sussex woman and the cyberman have been texting each other with ridiculous sex noises while he is out at the cinema. Sussexwoman, now formally identified as Mummy(no)Brains, says she promises she will not fall for him. x

texting sex noises?? I am intrigued!!

Hi all,

Guilt got me and now I'm dealing with the aftermath of my dh knowing what I did(he would of guessed sooner or later by my heartbroken moody act)
I deserved his response,I have been utterly selfish.
Seeing him weeping and utterly brokenhearted has kicked me up the arse to say the least,I am trying not to waste one more second wallowing in self pity and this fake obsessional love-I fucked up and I must now pay the price (and sadly, so must my dh)for not stopping and thinking of what I have,hmm grass aint greener in my case.

It's very early days,tiptoeing around each other,neither not knowing what to say or how to act..

'Tis very painful all around.No contact from om-been told quite bluntly to stay away and so far respected my wishes-he knows how destructive our "friendship" has been.

*sighs

oh feckwittery - I feel for you, I really do. (and your dh)

The guilt is indeed horrible. I have no solutions for you but to sit it out and love you dh honestly and don't try to force things. Hope this thing is the kick up the arse you needed even though it is painful right now.. and please don't be so hard on yourself. Humans fuck up - all the time.

Do you think deep down you wanted him to know?? this is what my counsellor asked me when I told her how I had acted at home and infromt of his wife - and I had to admit it probably was. Her response was to suggest maybe that it was me trying to bring a resolution to the affair (even if it turned out unleasantly for my dp and w).. I'm still thinking about this one.

It's a positive I guess that you are seeing the affair as fake, obsessive etc. and I am so pleased that your dh is giving things a chance to move forward. Sending you all the peace and strength I have left.. x
Do you think your OM will stay away..? or is he more like rascal's?

Rascal - you will have to use your imagination about the sex noises. I admit I am a right hypocrite - sat here telling feckwit to hang in there when I am having virtual sex with another OM. Gawd help us all!!

feckwittery - big hugs, I hope you're okay. I would be to pieces if I ever saw my DH cry. does OM live local? does DH know him? hope he stays away, I know how hard it is when they are persistent.

mbb - I think we all need to go away to a remote island......

MBB, NOoooooooooooooooo............

I think you are deluding yourself
You are just going to get yourself in a terrible situation again
Why are you doing this?
Come on, you know the score.
Have you told counsellor?
What is going on with your dh?

Sorry not able to enter into the spirit of the texting sex noises-and I can see that between platonic friends it would be funny - its the kind of thing I do with my cliched gay best friend - but you have been SO low and on the edge and I think you are on very dangerous ground here. Wtf are you playing at?

GET A GRIP WOMAN. SERIOUSLY.

Grace. I have seriously had a very stern chat with myself this afternoon.

I think everything is starting to get to me again - I can see the signs of madness and impending disaster. Thank you for the big fat boot to the head. It cam right when I needed it. Just been typing up funeral service sheet - feeling like a complete IDIOT!!

I had had a drink earlier not a good excuse.
Just read over my words from earlier and it doesn't look good. Not at all proud of myself. AT AL!!!! I am going to go away now and get my head together.

He has got to go. It was completely foolish and not a healthy way to ditract myself.

thank you x

Well done. I will be on and off here all night so stay in touch rather than succombing, either to unhelpful drinking habits, wallowing, or more txting.

Take care.
xx

thank goodness gracey managed to knock some sense into you mummybb! - You had me really concerned. If you need a distraction from the funeral arrangements, come on here instead. We're more interesting than cybermen and (a bit) less detrimental to your mental health!

Oh dear, feckwittery, know what you mean about seeing dh cry; really brings the point home, doesn't it? On the bright side, our relationship has strengthened as a result of my complete idiocy with om. At least your om has had the decency to respect your wishes - mine became vicious and started emailing dh. It all got very nasty.

In fact, rascal, your om and mine sound one and the same - even down to the, "We are meant to be etc etc," line. He also made a big deal of a chance meeting with his first wife, claiming that she thought they might "make a go of it"!! Needless to say, this was constantly trotted out in an attempt to make me jealous.

Oh yes, beware those "missing you" texts. KT's were often accompanied by his personal emoticon: )!(

• leaving me in absolutely no doubt exactly what it was he was missing... Remember rascal: "drunk, pervy, letchy, YUCK"

cheers people.

dp has been away since Monday and came home this evening. ds and I both really happy to see him. (Feel esp. bad seeing as feckwit has her dh in such a state and dp was there only weeks ago )

I have written (not sent yet but I WILL) an email to cyberman saying basically thanks, that was a bit of fun but I am seriously on the rebound from ttb and don't want to lead him or me into something so potentially destructive. It's very grown up of me. It doesn't sound like me at all.

Stupid behaviour when there is so much real pain around everywhere - on this thread, on MN, at my parents house, in the news. FFS!!

Have you sent it yet?
you can do it mbb
and then delete his details and DONT GO BACK ON THOSE SITES YOUNG LADY. As Stuffed said, come back on here instead. We can even emulate sex noises for you if necessary.

Uh Uh Uh yes baby yes ooh yes uh uh

slowly yeh that's it oh ah yes uh

See?

Hello stuffed! That emoticon is intriguing although not entirely anatomically correct I think.......has he been leaving you alone?

Rascal, oh rascal......... HALITOSIS remember?

FW - really sorry. That is going to be tough. It's a one day at a time thing innit.
Does sound like he's being decent though. Glad you are in love with your dh. That'll help long term.

sent!!

just had to make sure it had the right tone.

thanks for the sex noises!!

x

Ata girl, mummybb - remember your dignity. Anyway, gracey does those sex noises so well, don't you think?

Yo gracey! - How ya doin?
You sound in top form - pmsl at implication that KT has forgotten what a fanjo looks like because he's been leaving me alone

I'm starting to worry about an unavoidable function on Friday which will be attended by Mrs KT and her cronies. Not sure what to expect or what approach to take. Any tips?

How's it going rascal? Hope you're repeating the mantra at least hourly.

Fw, you and dh will get throught this, however painful it is at the moment. Sending you healing vibes. xxooo

From recent personal experience stuffed, I think you should (appear at least) to be friendly with Mrs KT - but dignified. Certainly not ashamed or afraid. Dazzle them with your wit and confidence. This sort of worked for me the other night - although it was just her and him, not an army of crones intent on seeing the bad side of me. Head held high, not studiously avoiding her or over-pally but letting others see and hear that she and I had obviously been confiding about recent experiences. ooh.. so much to communicate through small words and gestures.

However, privately you don't know what her mates might really think about her - or him!

Stuffed I agree with MBB. Can you set the scene a bit more so we can offer more specific tips? Will dh be with you? Any close girl friends? Killer outfit, or is it a parish council meeting..... ? I am right yeh that this is Mrs KT3 who is about to divorce him, so she is bound to be feeling a leeeeeeeeetle brittle and bitchy.

IS he leaving you alone though?

MBB how is tribute going? Is it next Tuesday the funeral?

Am going through a process of painful self discovery/emergence. The emergent GracePaley is some kind of vile shouty hag. Gave up smoking yesterday, as had started in earnest since OM and was becoming hideous bronchial thing. Have curbed drinking, taking stuffed's magical 5htps, and trying to cope with 2 sick kids now, as dd2s allergies have kicked in again and she keeps throwing up and feels really ill. And work is doing my head in, in that I can't get any done and have just had funding cut for a brilliant project (fucking olympics) and dh is going about ACHEIVING ostentatiously whilst I stay home with the kids and I am right jealous of him, and his sunny personality, and the fact that even though our relationship is in such jeopardy, he just goes about his business, seemingly unscathed. Why IS this?

FW, Rascal, Limey, Greeny, all the slutsistahs of the world, unite. You have nothing to lose but your pants chains of self delusion.

grace - under my beautiful basque of self delusion - lie the stomach rolls of hideous reality..

next Tuesday - I am waiting to see the vicar's first - so I can make sure he and I are not doing the same gags.

and.. sorry to hear about DD2 on top of everything else!!

how are your feelings towards DH? changing..?

ooh lots going on

rascal so sorry. Remember remember you don't actually like him!! why is it we can't detach... someone up the thread said something about pain being better than feeling nothing can so relate to that...

do we all (puts on cheesy LA psychotherapist voice) identify as unloved children? do you all feel you are compensating for emptiness etc with this? I know I am anyway.

mummybb I love you god you are so much like me by the sound of it.

so easy to say you won't go there anymore with the cybersex et al. I bet you will (don't mean that as negative, just I know I would). That's how my thing with OM started- dirty emails. NEVER thought I'd do a thing like that ever. It was simultaneously compulsive and I could deny to myself anything was actually happening- even up to the point where I met and got off with him...

I think I'm addicted to this sort of thing now too . Suppose I'm single now though (as dh arranging flat for us to live in separately when not with kids - best thing as I just can't commit to him as he needs, clearly am too bonkers)

Have found myself chatting (in thoroughly non sexual way) to extremely nice, funny bloke on internet. It's really just friendly atm. He wants to meet though of course. Should I stop??? is this a sign of addiction and serotonin depletion?? Do I need 6 months off men altogether?

love your sex noises grace, for the love of god don't ever go online, you'll be inundated

i mean online on certain sites of course - we can deal with it here