SlagAnon update

[mummybb]

Dear All,

don't know what happened yesterday - I accidentally asked for my thread to be deleted but I actually was removing posts which might have identified individuals.

Have asked MNHQ if it's possible to reinstate without those posts as I know some of you were finding it helpful, as was I, but it got a bit out of hand yestersay so it might be they decide it's better all round to keep it removed.

Sending you love,

mbb xxx

!! "serotonin"

Anyway, if this doesn't appeal to you, I do hope you find an alterative way of enhancing your mood. It sounds worryingly like mine was not so very long ago...

Can I join?

I've been a complete tosser/whore/slut and now feeling the fallout of a 2yr emotional thing with a friend which very very recently stepped over to a physical one.

Only happened once and will never happen again.

I can't really talk about it right now as everything is hurting like fuck.I'm just trying to get through this minute by minute.

I'm with you feckwit (if I can call you that?), am new myself but am sure you will be made welcome by the slutsistahs.

I feel so teenage atm myself, and keep playing that Robyn song..'it hurts with every heartbeat'

I wasn't in love, far from it, as it sounds as if you may have been, but the borderline with obsessionality is thin I think

Thanks Lime,I really wish I wasn't on this thread,I've just got no other outlet for this .

I also feel like a pathetic teenager and I also agree with the obsessional thing,I think I stepped over that line many many months ago.I cannot bear the thought of him not in my life but there is no other option for me ,everything is too messy and painful.

I am also dreadfully ashamed of my behaviour and feel like a prize whore (a vast understatement me thinks!).

well you're not alone in feeling that lol! Does he have a partner etc? That's what I feel really bad about (was separating/separated from my h anyway). I just can't believe I'd be so blind and stupid etc.

No he didn't but someone is on the scene now and that in itself has created a fucked up mess.

I'm married to a fanatasic man which also creates another fucked up mess.

Ditto the stupidity and blindness and can I add, downright twattish behaviour.

Am I cheering you up Lime? [smiles before she turns into a sobbing heap].

RASCAL! (even sterner voice than that used for MBB)

Remember his halitosis and the way he was creeping around after you, and how utterly utterly TURNED OFF you were. And remember that you LOVE YOUR DH. And remember what a weirdy beardy OM is being.

Do not give in. You have been doing brilliantly.

WELCOME, new slut sister.

Limey, I didn't realise you were already separated.... ........ is it definitive? But you're still in relate?
You KNOW he is a twonk, right.

Stuffed. Have been to H and B and purchased a lifetime's supply of your magical cure.
Definitely need to get back on track. Was doing brilliantly, but the past week have been useless, in a slough of despond, and certainly not obeyed my own pledges. So a new week(end) and a new beginning. Pity the images of myself from the Widdy Web didn't take. Perhaps they were too repellent?

Hello. I am green and I am a slutsista. I have been in denial since December.

I am on the verge of finally getting the balls to separate from dh after 6 years of probs in the marriage.

And yes, I am currently involved with someone who is living with someone (no kids on his part). Not sure what involved means, but am having ongoing 'sexual relations'. Now dh knows that I am desperately unhappy in relationship and we are in 'crisis' talks, but knows nowt about OM.

But perhaps the difference for me atm is that I am utterly grateful I have met OM (although at times the situation feels bleak and I feel sluttish and full of guilt) because he has been the catalyst for making me realise I cannot stay in this marriage.

Green. Email me.

much love
the right hon grace paley phd mmr asbo

Is there anyone on here who DOESN't have father issues?
Stuffed's research on chemical neurotransmitters has got me thinking about us as a group. We would be a dream for neuropsychiatrists innit, we could all have our brains mapped and maybe they could locate the SLUT ganglia.

I HAVE HUGE ones. Slut ganglia, and father issues.

Oh blimey - so much to take in. Welcome one and all to the slagfest!

Stuffed - the pic is on my profile page if you click on the yellow rectangley thing when you're logged in.

I know I bang on about it - but counselling, counselling, counselling ladies. do try it - I am finding it amazingly helpful to delve into my slut ganglions. my therapist says somewhere inside there is a little girl who just needs to be loved. It made me cry but was still helpful.

interested in your miracle cure - can't take as i am still on ADs - but I think these may be helping. .... can't knock 'em.

the obsession we all seem to share to varying degrees is fascinating - I want to tell you that it goes - but I don't think i can truly say it every leaves you - I think we simply must be made this may. sorry that's mot more positive or more scientific, but I don't think it's something one can control without outside help (include MN in this of course) unless one is totally in control - and tbh we're not are we?

Calling yourself names, whore etc. is helpful in the short term - perhaps - but don't do it to yourself people. 'I am what I am' - [oh lord now she's on the karaoke].
The guilt is an interesting one too. I have to fess up and say I didn't feel nearly as guilty as I ought to have done.. beating myself up, after fucking things up completely by pushing the situation to the limit was much closer to the mark, and not the guilt of infidelity.

keep your fingers away from the self destruct button - it's tempting, but don't lets do it. As a drama queen who almost revels in the torment of her own making, i realise the pattern is set - but talking to you and reading your stories keeps me from going for all out nuclear war. Anyone else here understand that feeling of almost wanting to keep the pain ongoing because it keeps the attatchment to the OM - masochists anon perhaps??

love to all

xxxxxxx

typing shot to shite - we may be made this 'way' - and other e&oe.

oh and forgot to say - about cyberman - i don't think anything will happen - if he ever sees me in real life he will be out of the door before you can say 'Ann Widdecombe's much uglier older sister'.

Now I have to get back to writing my father's tribute - I have over a week. I am going to try and be a big brave girl and do it myself! For courage my mother and I had a drink, went into John Lewis and tried on every single black hat in the shop - before going home with two giant hatboxes. It passed an hour anyway..

good luck with the tribute mbb. You can do it. It will be brilliant. xx

Welcome queenie and greenie. Hope you're ok today and not bogged down in in a surfeit of guilt and shame. Taking responsibility for your actions is obviously necessary; beating yourself up is not.

Thanks for sharing the photo mummybb!!
I know you're right about counselling, but I'm still plucking up the courage; worried that it'll turn out to be Pandora's Box...

Wholeheartedly agree with you both about the obsession and about calling yourself names. I've never been happy with that aspect of this thread, but didn't want seem precious or hunourless. Thanks for bringing it up. I suspect that, like you, I didn't feel overwhelmingly guilty - perhaps because I felt so persecuted.

Hope the tribute will be a triumph in every way.

Lol gracey! Is the 5-HTP working? I really hope so. How much are you taking? I upped my dose from H&B's recommended 100mg to 150mg after doing some more research. Seems to be about right -(for me). Also seems to have cured insomnia and recurrent nightmares.

Limey, sorry if this sounds bossy, but please give the 5-HTP thing a try - the only thing you have to lose is your obsession. Sorry I couldn't get the link to work, but if you take a few seconds to type it in, it comes up no problem. It's far more compelling than I.

How's it going rascal? Hope this w/e was beter than last!

Sending warm, nurturing and non-obsessional vibes all round. xxxxxo

Stuffed, yo. Don't know what dose I am taking. Two tablets.

What do you DO? You strike me as v erudite. Clearly there is also a link between extreme intelligence and weirdy obsessional behaviour.

For the slutsistah research laboratory, please tick if you

Are really brilliant
Have father issues
Suffer from depression
look like Anne Widdicombe

I've never thought of myself as a whore, slapper, slag, or any of those things.
Not even once.

OM has invited me out for a friendly drink.
I would really like to go. Luckily dd's illness means I can't go for a good few weeks, by which time I will be 5-HTP'd up to the hilt and therefore inured to any self loathing caused by seeing him. Ha ha.

Limey, feckwittery, rascal, greeny baby, hope you are all ok and in the sun.

Hi feckwittery - and welcome! I have just also ended things with OM and he doesn't have anyone else but I am dreading hearing he has! (not that I would hear as we live miles apart but I am sure he would find a way of telling me!). Not that I can say anything, I have a gorgeous, wonderful, successful DH and I can't believe what I have done to him If you read the thread you will see I had a 20 year crush on someone (well I wasn't in touch for most of those 20 yers) but when I was given the chance to have him, well, I did. Knew it couldn't work, no way would I leave DH etc, but also knew I was going to find it hard to detach myself from him. Spent last weekend with him, he freaked me out, was drunk, letchy, pervy, yuck. But now that trauma has worn off...I miss him. Not heard a thing since I made a rapid access last Saturday apart from one text asking if I'd fallen out with him!!

Anyway girls, I'm struggling again today. Need a big kick up the ass and a big dose of positive strength vibes!

Stuffed, I am going to try the 5-HTP - glad it's working for you, I will definitely give it a go - thank you!

Grace -

1. Yeah, I'm really brilliant
2. No, no father issues here, my dad is ace
3. I don't know if I suffer from depression, definitely had PND but never sought help, and I do have bad mood swings
4. hmm...I don't look like Anne Widdecombe!

mummybb- how you doing sweetie? Hope you're behaving yourself with Cyberman!

Have a great day all xxx

Hi Rascal, hi all,

mornin'. Shropshire hmm.. that's a shame if we ever decide to get together for some group therapy / cocktails.

Sending you all the sternness i can muster - don't go there girl. Bad bad bad. You have been brilliant since that weekend, non? So tell me, why do you think your thoughts are now back with the OM - despite your less than lovely weekend.. is it the thought of what might happen tomorrow (assuming you're going)? What is this magic hold he has on you which stops you moving on do you think? Probably a good general question for the 'hood. Is it something about the man - or is it something in us? Or is it not so clear cut?

After chatting with cyberman - i think I realise that it may be that I am either just trying to replace what I miss about ttb, OR perhaps (and more dangerously) ttb has awakened a need in me which I didn't know i had 6 months ago... addictive personality? Perhaps we can add that to Grace's list? Anyone?

Incidentally, i don't think of myself as a slapper/whore/slag either btw - i use these terms with a bucket load of irony, and because that was what I was called on my first thread back in Feb - but hope I'm not offending.

xx

hey if we get together - I will travel!

I won't go there, I won't let myself text or call or otherwise, no, no, no! I don't think I'll be going tomorrow, I didn't last week. I don't know why I can't stop thinking about him. I just want to hear from him, or I want to know why he hasn't bothered. To be honest, the way I was acting with him he must have known the attraction was fading rapidly so maybe he has just given up too. It will get easier, it has to.

I don't feel teary, desperate etc to hear from him like I did a few weeks ago. More annoyed with him, lol.

What you say about Cyberman replacing what you miss about ttb, I can relate to that also. A male friend has been paying me far too much attention recently and I like it because it takes my mind off OM but usually I would hate him being like that. Don't worry though,I'm definitely not going there!

I don't usually have an addictive personality but I thinking back over my life so far, I do seem to get addicted to 'people'. Have always found it hard to let ex's go, even when I really don't want them and have found myself thinking about them even years later.

Yo all

Rascal, you are doing so well. Get some 5 HTP and stop thinking about him.

It was a joke about Anne Widdicombe, she just seemed to come up a lot. Clear style icon too.

mbb how is tribute going?

I did see your photos of the play and I reckon you would look brilliant in a black pill box hat......

Yo gracey

Sounds like you're on 100mg. D'you think it's working yet?

Lol at thought of self as erudite, weirdy obsessive! Would like to tell you what I do, but paranoid about RL friends who lurk here.
Will go as far as saying that I too am 'a creative'.

Yes, of course I fit your excellent checklist - apart from the Widdi bit! - I think I brought her up as an example of a brilliantly incisive brain,(regardless of how you feel about her politics), as well as someone not aesthetically over-endowed.

Rascal, I vividly remember how that feels. It's horrible the way our brains distort reality and so we end up missing someone we know to be "drunk, letchy, pervy, yuck" - (sounds just like KT, btw!). It does seem to help if you actively try to replace the 'missing him' thoughts with some sort of mantra eg "drunk, letchy etc " - particularly in conjunction with positive thoughts of DH's wonderful, successful gorgeousness and general pulchritude. I've been finding this approach very effective.
Hope the 5-HTP works for you - it seems to be brilliant for mood swings, btw.

Mummybb, not sure about the addictive personality element. Can't remember being addicted to anything else, but can't claim to know enough about addiction. Re- the (apparent) inability to move on, I strongly believe it's a synergistic thing: we have the predisposition, they have the skills and inclination to exploit that, iykwim.

(Btw I realised that you, gracey and rascal were using labels ironically, but wasn't so sure about some of the others).

Sending serotonin-soaked vibes to all. xxxoo

thanks stuffed, I will actively try those thoughts NOW...he has just text saying he's deleting my number etc and bye. Now I feel like crying.....

Aw rascal, don't be . The detachment process is going to hsave some gut-wrenching moments, unfortunately. With any luck, that's one of the worst ones out of the way.
Remember he's probably still feeling rejected and wants to make you feel miserable too. Don't let him. Remember that halitosis. KT tries/tried to do whatever he could to hurt me after the split - think he just wanted to lash out. He was so horrible that even DH said it was undeserved. Your DH sounds lovely too; concentrate on him instead.

Thinking of you.xxxxx

Oh and don't forget that if he had your best interests at heart he would have no reason to text you to tell you he was deleting your number!! -Sounds like he's desperately trying to illicit a resonse from you. Typical KT-type behaviour. for you.