SlagAnon update

[mummybb]

Dear All,

don't know what happened yesterday - I accidentally asked for my thread to be deleted but I actually was removing posts which might have identified individuals.

Have asked MNHQ if it's possible to reinstate without those posts as I know some of you were finding it helpful, as was I, but it got a bit out of hand yestersay so it might be they decide it's better all round to keep it removed.

Sending you love,

mbb xxx

[CountessDracula]

It isn't power that motivates them
it is ego

They have crap self-esteem and need their egos massaged

[stuffedolivia]

Awful news about your voice mummybb - good job you've got the counselling sorted. Hope you're feeling upbeat and together today. Any chance of a Bellocstylie reprint - did it have a title?

Are you ok rascal? Suspect you may be going through one of the toughest parts. Stay strong; it will be worth it.

Thanks for trying to help HappyWoman. Unfortunately, some of these situations aren't quite so straightforward:

• Rascal's om is currently single.

-My om is constantly trying to convince me to leave my family to be with him.

-I know about om's ows from his wife. Her story concurs with his.

-Part of the reason wife wants to remain my friend is because he is trying to do to me what he did to her some years ago, (she is wife no.3 btw). She realises that I know what a b-s---d and a charmer he can be, and that mind games are indeed his speciality. In a way, we are allies: he has duped us both.

Sorry to hear about your dd, Grace. Haven't read the thread yet, but hope she's going to be ok.
Btw, I don't consider myself or anyone else here to be a "slag"; assumed it was tongue- in-cheek....!
Anyway, looking forward to more haiku!

[mummybb]

I thhink it went something like this..

(didn't have a title maybe you can help)

The saddest Tale I ever heard
Was of a poor romantic Bird
Who loved and lost, and, here's the spoiler,
Became an ardent Bunny Boiler.

She was not beautiful - or gross,
She was not Glenn - or even Close,
But caught offguard by Handsome Twat
Believed she might just be 'all that'.

He was the most almighty Flirt
Perfection ironed in every Shirt,
And Sloaney Wife and big posh House
Could not contain this heartless Louse.

Upon our Heroine he preyed
Relentless in his lust crusade,
And soon she fell for his great charm
Despite her inbuilt Twat Alarm.

Into romantic Trysts he dragged her
Eventually, of course, he shagged her.
And all was well, as was his Whim,
Until she fell in love with him.

And from the moment that he knew
She wanted more than just a Screw
His Ardour cooled, his Courage slumped,
And very swiftly she was Dumped.

Of course she suffered, quite confused,
She realised she had been used
And turned for solace to some Mums,
Who acted as her Virtual Chums

And helped her overcome her Rage
With Words so witty, sane and sage,
That soon her Pain had been obscured,
Her Bunnyboilerhood quite cured.

And if you're sure this Tale ends well
Remember that there is in Hell
No Fury like a Woman scorned.
All Twats beware - You have been warned.

---

Yes, the Slag thing is firmly tongue in cheek - based on my experience of posting on this topic back in Feb. we can rename if it offends - gracey - perhaps you can suggest summat funny.

[mummybb]

HappyWoman - I am truly grateful for your words here - I believe that you a right in that once he has decided he is able to put other thoughts behind him fairly easily.

It's not offensive to hear this. I know in my case that OM has only had one other affair in 22 years - but I think that was not for the want of trying - just that two of us were crackable. He comes on to every woman he meets - as w acknowledges to me last week. I don't feel she is daft for staying with him - she obviously loves him -for all his faults.

[stuffedolivia]

(Name)
who loved a louse and lived to love again.

Thank you so much mummybb - cheered me up no end!

[stuffedolivia]

Maybe that should be,

"Who Lov'd a Louse, but Learn'd to Live again" ?

[mummybb]

That's brilliant. Just dropped by as I have a visitor, but am now officially a MNAddict.

[rascalboys]

Hi everyone, hope you had a good weekend and just dropping by to see how you are all doing?

I'm not doing so good, exOM won't leave me alone and I'm so unsettled and restless. I just want things to go back the way they were.

[mummybb]

sorry to hear that rascal - what's he been up to now? more texts? calls?

[mummybb]

Stuffed - I understand what you say about Mrs KT3. I think that's what his wife was trying to do before she learned the truth - stay friendly and hope nothing else will happen. he sounds like another right charmer.

Mine told me we have the power to change the thoughts that give us pain at any moment. I've decided that I just don't want to change enough to do it. But girls - we must!

[rascalboys]

yeah, texts, calls, emails, going from one extreme to the other. Really over the top, then hateful.

[mummybb]

I mean what Toryboy's wife was trying to do - not expressed v well. sorry.

[mummybb]

oh rascal - he's trying everything he can to win you round. I know the signs so well - he is doing what I was doing to toryboy last week. You have to cut him off. He knows your weaknessess.

[mummybb]

He'll throw everything he can at you to get your affection back - it sounds like desperation. Take it from me.

Now the hurtful stuff - that's not good - he must know this will be horrible for you, but he's running out of ways to make you take notice of him.

Do you have to go to that place tomnorrow?

[mummybb]

hurtful = hateful, not doing v well this morning.

[rascalboys]

yeah I do, but I'm going to go late afternoon instead of early morning I think.

How are you feeling?

[mummybb]

empty - even went to church yesterday to see if it helped. I just sat there blubbing. . Saw him coming back from what I imagine was him playing organ at another local village church - he didn't see me thatnk goodness - but I did end up sending him a hastily written haiku thus:

Returning from church.
Spring morning, pink shirt, sins cleansed.
I wish I believed.

Now he'll think i'm stalking him!!

[rascalboys]

oh. Did he reply to you? I'm sorry you're finding things really hard at the moment (hugs).

[mummybb]

no reply - sent it to his work so I imagine he's only just got it - he won't reply.

I think your are v wise to go at a different time - I really hope you don't see him. Althoiugh I am on the opposite side to you (sort of) i feel for you. Are you worried his behaviour will get worse?

[rascalboys]

Yes, I am worried but then part of me thinks that it's all games again. I don't think he can like me that much as he messed me around so much when I was totally besotted with him. Also, it's affecting my relationship at home. DH wonders what the hell is the matter with me (although he does know part of it now) and I'm really snappy with the DC's. I want to be on my own a lot.

I wish it would all go away, I can't believe how stupid I've been.

Plus, I can't handle the thought of him being with someone else....how flamin stupid is that?!!!

[mummybb]

how much does your dh know? I only ask because it was such a weight off my mind when I told dp a little about it. i know you say you want to be on your own but now is the time to really start showing dh how much you want to be with him - so do try and make some time for this - I remember how lovely he sounds.

I like that you say 'when I was besotted with him' . All that past tense is good.

I can see you still must feel something for him because you've always said the idea of him with someone else disturbs you so much -

it's lovely to be desired, and I don't think it's easy to let go of that feeling - even if the larger part of your brain is telling you that's what you must do.

It's so complicated for you - I can see why you crave your simple life back.

somewhere there must be some scientific research into why women go for b'stards - at a very basic level. Any of you anthropologists/psychologists out there point me in the right direction??

[stuffedolivia]

Hi mummybb and rascal,

sorry to hear time is taking such such a long time to heal things.

Had a plaintive text from KT on fri; think I must be recovering because compulsion to answer is barely there anymore, but I must stress that this has only come from months of practice. I really feel for you rascal - sounds as if you're experiencing what I was until quite recently, especially the "going from one extreme to another". I've had to deal with a lot of that; don't think they like us very much; they just want us.

It's very telling that you can't yet handle the thought of him being with someone else. It's not stupid in the least - quite understandable - but until you have fully convinced yourself that you really are far happier overall with lovely dh, this will not go away. It's natural to crave the high that om used to fulfill. try reminding yourself that he was fundementally just taking what he wanted from you because it suited him; he would never care about you or consider your welfare in the way dh does.

[mummybb]

very well put as usual stuffed - nice to see you so together today.

Now for the science bit - one explanation found here

I note it was a conference on amimal !behaviour..

[stuffedolivia]

Fascinating stuff, mummybb! - yes, surprise suprise: all comes from our primitive beginnings. Another reminder that all this type of man really wants is to perpetuate his genes. Had almost forgotten how KT used to plead with me to have his babies!!!!!!!!!

[stuffedolivia]

btw fogot to congratulate you on another excellent haiku!