SlagAnon update

[mummybb]

Dear All,

don't know what happened yesterday - I accidentally asked for my thread to be deleted but I actually was removing posts which might have identified individuals.

Have asked MNHQ if it's possible to reinstate without those posts as I know some of you were finding it helpful, as was I, but it got a bit out of hand yestersay so it might be they decide it's better all round to keep it removed.

Sending you love,

mbb xxx

Hi All,
Thanks for support; not feeling quite so bad this morning.

How are you, mummybb, rascal, grace?

HappyWoman, thanks for giving the other pov so honetly and non-judgementally - it really helps. I guess it may well still feel like early days to dh, even if it seems quite a long time to me. As usual, the only solution to the whole sorry mess is simply(!) to allow time to to do its thing, I suppose; can't be speeded up, and unfortunately everyone's timeframe is different. I must accept this.

Ironically, dh was far more moody before the affair, so I shouldn't be finding the ups and downs so hard to deal with. Perhaps the hardest thing is that when I instigate any shows of affection, (I am naturally demonstrative, rather on the touchy-feely side), the response I get is usually lukewarm. However, dh - as you've probably guessed - expects me to be full-on at the drop of a hat if he makes the first move.
Other areas of our life seem to operate in the same way. Is the some way in which I can make dh feel more secure without being trammelled and trampled myself?

Back to bury myself in work. Words of wisdom sought.

All i can think is to try and be as open and honest as possible at all times. Make him feel you are thinking of him.

Sounds slushy but give him a call/email just to say thinking about you. Buy him a small gift - treat him to something nice.

Run him a bath and pour him a glass of wine.... you get the idea.

Think of something that would excite you and try and do that for him. He will fee so much more valued - albeit for a short time.

And the tricky bit is to not make him feel suspicious - good luck with this one its a hard balance.

time is the best healer and we would all love a crystal ball to see what the future holds so we know what to do now.

Anyway take care and be good to your partners you will feel better for it i am sure.

Thanks for that Happy Woman, I have been trying all that with DH. The special meals, even booked a weekend away, nights out on our own etc. Now I know he's been texting exOM from my phone it's a bit difficult to leave me phone lying around incase he does it again but I suppose if I hide it I am just going to make him feel more suspicious.

To be honest, we are getting on okay at the moment

Glad you're feeling a bit better this morning Stuffed. I'm okay. Had a text off HIM this morning, really want to reply as I'm having a bad 'missing him' day but I'm not going to. I'm just keeping busy busy busy....

rascal - he probably did it because he couldnt believe you had finished it and 'needed' to find out for himself, you need to trust him too and it is not acceptable him texting from your phone without you knowing - try and be more open with though - but he needs to be open with you too.

Good luck

thanks - he has been going through my emails etc too. It is putting me in a bad mood but I am trying to understand...

He will hate feeling like that too i am sure - it is hopefully just something that has to be done - try and bear with it - you may be able to laugh at it in time.

I can't imagine ever laughing at it, I have aged about 10 years in the last 6 months! I know it's all my fault, but hindsight is a great thing!

Luckily we are both prepared to fight for 'us', so I am hoping that this time next year everything is back to normal

hello y'all. Stuffed, Rascal, MB, my dearest sluts, I hope things are a bit better today than in the last few days. Have nothing of interest or significance to report as am entirely consumed by caring for dd and not even thinking lucidly but am waving wanly and exhaustedly to you all and wishing collective peckers UP. Back soon. xx

4 days sober. Pain
not numbed tears fresh pathways.Time
will heal, will age me.

My girl, my precious,
teetering between heaven
and hell,you suffer

and I tend you with
my love, my arms, my time. Even
so he still butts in

uninvited and
tries to sully this stillness
between us, this peace.

No stripling you, still
trying to be rock
god but
your myspace only
has 3 hundred and
fourteen friends

Friday night offerings for my silent slutty sisters. Bon weekend

xxx

Wow - amazing, grace! i am lost for words.

i do hope you're ok. My father has been in hospital all week and mum seems to think he doesn't have long so we're all off up there today - play is supoosed to be on next week - bad timing or what.

sorry about the silence - i will not get on here much i expect, but will be thinking of you all, take care! j

xxxx

sending thoughts for your dad and moreover for the play.........take care.x

Rascal, stuffed, tell me that you are not also incarnations of mummy BB..... you all ok? Sending vibes of strength and resolve to all.

Grace - they are not me. But I hope they/you are all ok. Have you been to the appointment with your dd? How are you coping? And how are you cping with 'innapropriate behaviour'-man back in the area?

I went to counselling this morning - the woman is brilliant - if only I could have seen her before I fell into bed with torytwatboy - I am convinced I would not have fallen into the pit. i sincerely recommend to all - she has made me realse why I throw myself at attatched men, and it all makes so much sense!! AArrgghhhhh!!!!

Dad is ok - coming out sometime this week. if you're lucky I'll post a picture of the play on here to prove I managed to get through it.

In the meantime I am not able to spend so much time on here at present, and I miss it!

stuffed / rascal - please get back - if only to prove to Grace that you're not me ;-)

xxx

That is EXCELLENT about your counselling, well done. Give it lots of time though won't you - these things take a lot of working through, if you want to effect change.And I always get a bit where I want to run away, and I have found that it's from then on that the real work begins. What kind is it?

And also excellent about your Dad. How amazing. How is he in himself?

My dd has her first therapy tomorrow, which is FANTASTIC. Man X still in my head though beginning to be less intrusively - thing is dh and I are not having sex and so the last proper sexual encounter I had was with him. 4 months ago..... I am a crazed bawd, gagging for COCK. That makes it hard to detach, innit. I haven't texted him. He hasn't texted me. Maybe it is all fading away into the distance.

Good luck with play, break legs, etc etc.

Rascal, stuffed, wherever you are, hoping all is good.

x

You make me laugh so much. If you are indeed gagging for cock - I urge you to check out one of those websites for married liaisons - someone told me about this the other week when I was really down and some of the people there are so inSANE for sex it is hilarious - I have a look now and again to make myself feel like a member of the human race again. Hands off 'em though - they're all MINE! Especially BigDick_69.

x

give name of website immediately.
I want Big Dick 69. I wonder what his interests are?
I went on this VILE one called TUmmy butterflies ( purely in the interest of research you understand) which was specifically for married people looking for affairs. Grotesque, without exception.

ha ha - hi all, can't stop laughing at grace! - least you're honest about it
Hope your daughter's therapy goes well.

mummyb - would love to see pics of the play and good news about your dad coming out!

Sorry I haven't been on for a few days. Been trying to keep really busy, as usual!
He's been texting, calling, I've been talking to him can't help it

Had loads of vivid dreams about him too.

Not making any plans to see him though. Putting all my time and efforts into DH and DC's.

I feel pretty good about it all at the moment

Well done rascal - can't control your dreams of course, but you sound pretty good. If you are coping then I will be pleased. I almost daren't ask but.. was he there today??

grace - I think that's the same site! - it also goes under the moniker of Illicit Encounters. what sort of research was that then???? Fingers crossed the counselling went well.

stuffed - any updates very welcome my lovely?? How' things with your DH?

take care -

hi mbb, yes, he was there. We went for
coffee

Something was different though.....I don't think I fancy him anymore!!! I really don't know when where or why this happened but I just don't think I do! He was different too. Less pushy and more talking about every day things like schools, our children, work etc. Nothing soppy or emotional was mentioned and it was like a huge turnaround. Very positive though!

How are you?

at ' I don't think I fancy him any more'

don't worry that you met him - that's really good going. He must be picking up your indifference vibes (real or acted) and fingers crossed he's cooling off. it'll still take time though i imagine - but I'm so pleased for you x

i'm ok - busy with play - and daily updates on dad - he's out today and they are sorting out McMillan nurses and things. I cannot say this is a wlcome distraction from twatboy - but it is a distraction - and a wake up call. Sometimes you just know when other things are more important. Hope that's where you are at too - it's sounds like it - and it sounds like om knows it. How's Dh?

I'm not worried about seeing him or anything anymore because that spark is gone!!....only took 20 years, lol. I think it's just opened my eyes to what I could have lost and I'm not risking it again. It is definitely out of my system. I would love to have a chat/coffee with him very occasionally and I know I am ready for that now - maybe he will be one day. Or maybe it will just filter out to nothing...I'm not overly concerned either way!

DH is still a bit down. I am trying really hard, as is he. We're both making a tremendous effort for everything to be back to normal.

Glad your dad is out, will be nice for you to go and see him without going to an impersonal hospital. And at least the McMillan nurses will give lots of support.

When is the play?

dress rehearsal tonight - then run for the rest of the week - watch this space for photos. I am the 60-year-old bag - mrs torytwatboy will be the glamorous one in the fur coat.

keep up the good work! At this rate i will not have to open a rehab clinic for former ow's (realise apostrophe + s incorrect but looked odd without it).

Rascal, HURRAH HURRAH HURRAH HURRAH. THat is such fantastic progress. Well done you.
HURRAH, again.

MBB, I SO know what you mean about your Dad, and things just being more important. You have come SUCH a long way since the beginning of the other thread. You sound SO much stronger; hope you feel it too. Oh PLEASE post some photos of you in your costume, gwan.

Stuffed me old mucker wherever you are, hope you are doing ok and that your phone is NOT ringing......

That's wonderful news rascal - really really pleased for you. Chances of future normality sound good aswell.

Sorry for not being around for a while. Last week was very unsettling and just had to bury myself in work for a few days. did take Happy Woman's very good advice though, concentrating on making an extra effort, and things seem to be on the up with DH. Thanks Happy Woman.

Nothing from KT for over a week now, although regular updates from Mrs KT - DH even had coffee with her last week... not entirely sure how I feel about this, particularly since KT has dismissed any possibility of a purely platonic future for our relationship. Can't seem to get my head round intense feelings of rejection even though I can see straight through him.

You sound so much better mummybb. How's your dad? How was dress rehearsal? Counselling sounds exellent. Do you know which approach she uses? - Just asking because I think counselling is something I should consider. Btw would love to see play photos!

How's it going gracey? Last poem made me cry. Hope therapy went well yesterday. Let us know, if you get time.
If you have time to be bored(!), have a look on Adult Friend Finder; KT is there, apparently. Yuck.

Be good everyone. xx

Oh stuffed, mate, sounds like such a major headfuckery, with everyone trying to be normal in such a supremely abnormal situation. Is it not possible to cut all contact with the both of them - sorry I think I may have asked this before, but it just seems SO torturous. But excellent that your work and focus has paid off. Hope it may continue to do so, and sending many vibes of strength and slut/sorority and wishing you PEACE. It is taking up so much of your time/effort. I feel very grr on your behalf.

Check out my ocd thread for the latest on dd. It's complex.

Oh and promise more mawkish poetry soonest

xx